All Comments on 'Gamers Pt. 01'

Thanks again for a great story. Well written, and fun to read, and the erotic parts were smokin hot. Well done.

I've been a fan since the bridge club. This is another great start to a promising story. Please keep it up.

Love your stories and the subtle humour. 5 stars without hesitation.

Always a pleasure to read your stories.

Ahaz

This was great, loved the pacing

I want to meet a Kasia

or one of her friends....

Unlike most stories on this site, you know exacrly how to describe characters, actions, backstory, and keep everything moving. This was honestly fantastic to read, and i am flat out giddy i have more to go through. The closest i have to a complaint is that the build up to the sex was fun, but the sex itself was over too quickly. It could have used more details, made it more visceral or drawn out. Still good, and there's plenty of story ledt to read.

Love your work and always enjoyed the effort and compassion you put into your writing!

As a fellow "chubby" girl though I do find one flaw from your work is the fat shaming. Although the Patricia character wasn't described so badly I found the fat shaming to be a theme of yours in other stories and just wish you wouldn't make it so shallow when describing their looks. I especially get turned off by the phrase " she would've been prettier if she lost a few" (ofc I paraphrased but you get the gist). That is to say that I don't hate your work I truly love it just wish when reading it I could perhaps not feel put down for having a few extra pounds...

Thank you, anonymous. I wish I could respond to you in person.

I'm embarrassed, because I think you're right. It's even worse because Trisha (and Rose from 'The Roommate Experience') are based on real people -

I will be much more careful in future.

In regards to the earlier comment: I don’t know how you are supposed to describe physical attributes without explaining how they look? It’s a written story, not a movie... it isn’t fat shaming to describe someone as being heavier or carrying extra pounds, thick, etc. Nor do I see an issue with subjective descriptions of being prettier if they lost some weight. It is all subjective and should be painted both from the viewpoint of the protagonist as well as in the societal norms that (most) people can understand and “see” the character as described.

In my favorite story of yours, you described Simran as being well built or thick but not overweight while her sister Parvani (the protagonists best friend) spent most of the story being described as cute but a bit heavy. The description painted the characters well enough for a reasonable mental image of them and it seemed to be a relevant plot point and dilemma when she lost weight, got contacts and braces came off. Was it fair for the protagonist to change how he felt towards his friend Just because she changed physically? How should he react? This was not fat shaming, it was addressing a very real societal viewpoint and questioning the worth of that when he had known all along how beautiful she was on the inside. It added depth to the story and in my opinion was well written and tasteful.

I found myself skimming through long swaths by the second page. Never a good thing when that happens. It was mostly because the dialog and narration seemed kind of stiff, and none of the characters seem terribly deep or interesting so far. That may change as the story goes, but if you don’t grab the reader early, they will never read that far.

I’m also not a fan of freezing the story to describe all the characters in the room like they are in a lineup. I find the best stories work physical details into the story as it goes along. And remember, it’s not even essential to ever fully describe them. It can be okay to let the reader’s imagination fill in some details.

Similar to detailed character description, I don’t think it’s important to describe the games and their rules in detail. The general flavor of each can come out in context as the dialog progresses. It’s just not important to stop telling your story so you can teach about the game.

Overall a 3.

The long, drawn-out tease with Kasia proved quite rewarding. Dean may have been nerdy, but he wasn't entirely "out to lunch" with how he read her. The girl gamer group is a different twist, and I found it unique and engaging, as you properly highlight the dynamics of the girl's group vs. the boy's group (it's a pretty accurate study of contrasts). I found nothing lacking in their games, nor in their choices, actions, etc., as everything pointed to a well-read approach to gaming and some about game creation.

I wasn't expecting to enjoy this as much as I did. I was more of a heavy video gamer, with some experience in RPGs and strategy games...but I recognize much of what you were doing--and it was fun to read about.

You always find ways to turn situations or common occurrences upside down. I enjoyed this reversal and perhaps will continue to read more as time allows. 5

I gave you a 5 because this was very well done. BUT that Anon is right. You gotta ditch the fat shaming. That was really annoying.

Great romance with a touch of spice.

I think he is being set up to fuck all her friends. I think this may well be a harem story. I hope so, l like the characters.

Scores 5/5, a great start.

Forgot to add lm a long time gamer, both miniatures and strategy board gaming, been gaming for nearly five decades. I have some classic board games, hundreds of them in fact. We are currently playing Kingmaker by Avalon Hill, a true classic.

In miniatures l own over 12 different armies ranging from ancients to modern in scales from 10mm thru to 28mm.

Just loving this story

After reading the D&D series, I wanted to give this one a try. Excellent setup, decent character development overall (much better with Kasia and Dean), and interesting plot, but the end was sizzling, much earlier and much hotter than I was expecting. That's not a bad thing but now I'm disappointed that I won't be able to continue for a few days.

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P.S. Thanks for the note. I don't always comment on every chapter but since I'm always excited about comments (good or bad) on my stories, I try to catch most.

I really enjoyed that. The character development was very good. I loved the fact that for once the woman was petite. In real life I have found women with great big tits a turn off. To each his own. Love the story though. Keep up the good work.

The gaming thing is a bit beyond me having never played roll playing games and I am 80 so the gaming parts of the story a really beyond my comprehension although I have a 51 year old son that has been gaming since he was 10. The only board games I've played are the old standbys of Risk, Monopoly, Parchesee and a couple of video games like Pac Man, Joust, Invaders and Robotron and of course Tetris. The story was written well but all the reference to gaming are beyond me but still a nice romantic story as even erotica is not that entertaing and the story line itself is more important. Keep writing though.

2nd read for me since it's one of my favourite of yours. Great characters, looking forward to getting back to the rest of the story.

Oh and steamy lovemaking too ;)