Gaming: D&D Pt. 04

- "Okay." said the doctor. "That does it. You should be good to go."

Simran looked concerned when I came out.

- "How did it go?" she asked.

- "Okay, I think." I said. "Simran - thank you so much for staying with me, all this time."

- "You're very welcome, Ian." she said.

We drove home at a more leisurely pace. She turned on her tape deck. It was Neil Young's Heart of Gold. You know the song:

Keep me searchin' for a heart of gold ... and I'm getting old

But the next song hit me even harder. I recognized the first chords, and after that I couldn't catch my breath.

I want to live with a cinnamon girl

I could be happy the rest of my life

with a cinnamon girl

***

Parvani insisted on taking me to lunch. I convinced her to try the Mexican restaurant just off campus, which had excellent food, but was very cheap - a student paradise.

- "I'm so sorry, Ian -" she began.

- "Parvani." I cut her off. "I don't ever want to hear you apologizing for what happened. It was not your fault. It was Asshole's fault."

- "Asshole?"

- "I don't know his name. It seems to fit, though." I said.

Parvani smiled, showing her braces. "It does fit." Then her expression darkened. "His name is Christian, though. He says he's going to press charges. You broke his two front teeth."

I laughed out loud. "Par - he has no hope there. He was sexually assaulting you when I pulled him off. And he hit me with a beer bottle before I punched him. Self-defence twice over: protecting you, defending myself."

- "Are you sure?" she asked.

- "Positive." I said. Well, I was pretty sure. "Is this going to mess up the Debating club, for you?"

- "I'm not going back." she said. Parvani glanced at my hand. "I still feel bad."

- "You shouldn't." I told her. "Does your father suspect anything? That you had a party?"

She shook her head. "We cleaned up pretty thoroughly. It's nerve-wracking, though, keeping a secret like this."

- "You can tell him when you turn 30. Or when you get married." I said.

- "Hopefully they don't both happen at the same time." she said.

***

A week later, I managed to convince Simran to meet me at the very same restaurant. She arrived wearing black jeans and a short-sleeved orange top. I had never seen her dressed so casually. She had very little makeup on, and still looked fantastic. Her long black hair was unbound.

I want to live with a cinnamon girl ...

- "You didn't owe me a lunch." she said.

I handed her a menu. "Look at the prices - this will hardly break the bank. I just wanted to say thank you."

- "This is the same place you brought Parvani?"

- "Two sisters. One restaurant." I said.

We talked about the university, her job, music. In addition to Neil Young, she liked Bruce Cockburn and Van Morrison.

- "I love the lyrics." she said. "Morrison has a great voice, but I really listen to the words first."

- "Really? I think I'm the exact opposite. The lyrics are the last thing I hear. I'm often surprised to find out what a song I like is really about. Sometimes, it's a year or more later when I finally figure out what the lyrics are - or what they mean."

Simran laughed - a delightful sound. "I could never do that." she said.

I could be happy, the rest of my life, with a cinnamon girl ...

If she didn't have a boyfriend. And if she wasn't three years older than me. And way out of my league.

***

I managed to bring Tanya to the same restaurant by raving about the coffee and the nachos. And the prices. She finally agreed to meet me for lunch.

Tanya was another girl who wore minimal makeup, or none at all. I'm not blind to the appeal of a pretty girl with makeup; but when I see a woman all dolled up, I can't help but wonder how long she spent working on it. How much time and effort went into making her look that way?

Whereas the 'natural' girls, who may not look so sexy, might have been spending their time reading a book, or improving their mind. I don't mean to suggest that a heavily made-up woman is stupid, or that girls who don't wear makeup are smart. But ...

- "How's your hand?" she asked.

- "Not too bad."

- "We should have thrown you into a cab right away, and taken you to the hospital." she said. "I think we all panicked a bit, and got stupid."

- "It was a little crazy, for a while."

- "Yeah. I just mean ... with all of the brain power there, one of us should've figured out what to do - a bit sooner. I'm ... kind of sorry about that." she said.

Tanya looked really good. I might have stared a bit more than I should have.

***

The Weird Dream

I was sitting at a table covered in green felt, playing poker with Parvani, Simran, and Tanya. As far as I knew, said my rational mind, I had never been alone with the three of them.

Each of the girls had a healthy stack of white, red, and blue chips in front of them. My own little pile looked quite anemic, by comparison. Parvani was shuffling, awkwardly. She dealt me a brutal hand - five cards (Texas Hold'em was virtually unknown back then).

- "I like you, Ian." said Simran.

- "I think you're pretty cool, too." said Tanya

- "I think the world of you." said Parvani.

I discarded my three worst cards, keeping a jack and a nine- both clubs. Parvani dealt me a four of spades, the two of hearts, and the queen of diamonds.

Then I woke up. I had to pee.

***

- "Are you losing weight, Parvani?" asked Tanya. She did it right in front of Nate, Derek, Alan ... and me.

Poor Par flushed. "Umm ... yes, a bit. I'm on a diet, and ... getting more exercise."

- "Good for you."

We managed to squeeze in four games of D&D between Halloween and the Christmas holidays. One was okay. One was completely spoiled by Alan's juvenile posturing. In addition to his normal hogging of the spotlight, he seemed to have a bone to pick with me. He went out of his way to make my life difficult.

But the other two games were excellent. Our party was hired to protect the heir to the throne, a pampered prince who was the target of death threats. He was promptly assassinated - while we were supposed to be guarding him.

We had to run for our lives, and hide - somehow, we ended up being suspected of collaborating in the murder. But I had left enough clues - big clues - to let the party know that we had been set up. They were determined to prove their innocence, and unmask the real culprits.

It was just one of those games when I lucked into the perfect balance of action, intrigue, puzzles, and crucial dice rolls. Everyone was fully engaged. When we called it quits around 1:00 a.m., everyone was keen to immediately set a date for the next game.

The second round was even better. Everyone came prepared, with ideas and theories, and strategies to find the villain. We had a wild chase through the streets, and a key battle that started badly, until Tanya and Nate turned it around with their spells. Even Alan was willing to cede centre stage to Tanya, for a while.

I didn't think that the conclusion and the big reveal were anything special. But my players were quite pleased by the elegant simplicity of my plot.

Meanwhile, outside of gaming ... I convinced Tanya to go out with me again. I didn't make a big deal about it, but it was just the two of us. She had to know that it was a date, even though I didn't use that word.

We had a couple of beers in a pub, and talked for hours, about school, our childhoods, books, D&D ... I was particularly interested in her view of the game, what she enjoyed and what she didn't.

Tanya was a bright girl. She wasn't classically beautiful, but she had that natural, 'girl next door' look. And the hoodie she was wearing under her leather jacket couldn't conceal all of that dynamite body.

Afterwards, I walked her home, through the park. I was trying to figure out whether I should kiss her goodnight. It was something good friends did - wasn't it? But I wanted her to know that I was even more interested in her than that.

When we reached her laneway, she turned to face me. "That was fun. I really enjoyed it." she said. Then she leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek.

"'Night, Ian."

She gave me a half-smile, half-smirk, and turned to go. I should have followed her to the door. Would that be too creepy? I hesitated, and the moment was lost.

Next time, I promised myself.

I asked her out again two weeks later, but she begged off, citing her exam schedule. I understood: my own exams were promising to be a handful.

***

Parvani's parents hosted a small gathering of friends just before Christmas. To my surprise, they invited Nate and me.

- "Do you think we should go?" he asked.

- "Of course we should."

- "What if they're just being polite?" he said.

- "Then it would be impolite not to go." I said.

We got a huge surprise when Parvani opened the door. She wasn't wearing her glasses, and her long, black hair hung down past her shoulders. She had on an off-white dress that was a bit snug, and a bit low-cut: the top quarter of her breasts were on display. The rest of the dress was tight enough to boldly outline the other three quarters.

- "Wow!" I said. "You look ... wonderful."

- "Thanks." Her cheeks were rosy, suggesting that she had already been sampling the eggnog. But it was unlikely that she would drink alcohol in front of her parents. "Can I take your coats?" she said.

There were a dozen or so guests, most of them friends of Mr. and Mrs. D., and a few of their children, most of whom were around our age.

- "Ian!" Parvani's father greeted me like a long-lost friend. "And Nate! So glad you could come!" He led us around the room, introducing us to everyone as Parvani's friends. I was 'the political scientist'; Nate was 'the artist'.

I must admit, their friends were very friendly, and quite interesting.

We had completed almost a full circuit of the living and dining rooms, when Mr. D. said "Of course, you know Simran."

- "Hello, Ian." she said. "Hello, Nate."

Wow. I couldn't help staring. Parvani looked cute, today. Simran looked ... spectacular. I think I might have babbled something semi-unintelligible.

"This is Arjun." she said.

Her boyfriend was tall, slim, and good-looking. His suit was expensive, and he wore a gold watch. I disliked him instantly. As I got to know him a little better, I disliked him even more.

It wasn't just that he was older, more sophisticated, better-dressed ... or that he made me feel like a teenager. He was genuinely condescending.

- "What are you studying?" he asked.

- "Political Science and History." I said.

- "First year?"

See? I was willing to bet that he already knew - Simran had to have told him that we were Parvani's friends. Why would he assume that we were a year behind her?

Of course we had to ask what he was doing, so he told us at length about his graduate program in Economics. He spoke loud enough that the people standing next to us could hear.

I will readily admit that I was jealous. I wanted Simran to be my Cinnamon Girl. I will also admit that I was prepared to dislike anyone she was dating. But Arjun made it easy.

Simran did her best to change the subject.

- "Ian is the one I spent Halloween with." she whispered to him. "In the hospital."

- "Oh - you're that Ian?" said Arjun. "I have to say - that was well done." Somehow he managed to imply that he would have done even better, had he been here. And how many fucking Ians did he know, exactly?

Parvani rescued us, and led us away to meet some of her family friends. I almost forgot about Arjun as I met some more extremely nice people.

Nate and I walked home together. Mostly, we talked about Parvani. I had not told him that I was crushing on her older sister - who already had a boyfriend.

That night, I spent some time alone, wondering just what the hell I was doing. Simran was perfect - except for being three years older, and the boyfriend thing. Parvani was wonderful, in every way except ... the glasses, the braces, and the chubbiness. Was I too shallow, that I couldn't see past those things?

And what did that say about my feelings for Tanya?

The only conclusion I could reach was that I didn't have a clue what I was doing.

***

We had our own little Christmas party on the 29th: just Nate, Parvani, Tanya, Derek and Alan. And me.

To avoid breaking the bank, we had drawn names. I had Nate, and gave him the soundtrack to the 'Silk Road' documentary by Kitaro. He had seen it on television, and mentioned several times how much he liked the music.

We had already exchanged Christmas gifts, in private. I got him Asimov's Foundation trilogy, while he bought me Frank Herbert's Dune.

Derek had drawn my name. He got me an album by The Jam, entitled - appropriately enough - The Gift.

Of course, I had also bought Parvani a present, which I had given her earlier: a collection of portraits by Yousuf Karsh. She had given me a book of Celtic-inspired art by Jim Fitzpatrick. It was quite psychedelic.

- "Odd coincidence, don't you think?" she said.

- "How's that?"

- "We got each other picture books." she said.

- "So you want to file this under the 'Great Minds' category?" I asked. She just smiled shyly at that.

The whole group had bought me a separate gift. It was a brand-new copy of the Dungeon Master's Guide.

- "Of course, we expect you to use that responsibly." said Tanya.

- "Feel free to be generous with the treasure pages." said Nate.

- "And be careful about springing new rules on us." said Derek.

It was a running joke among us, that we played the game without actually knowing all of the rules. At this stage, I still had my own system for awarding experience points. Our way of playing was largely homemade. 'Real' D&D players would probably have considered us heretics. But it worked for us.

We talked about whether to continue our current campaign, with the characters we had, or to create new ones and start over.

Alan wanted to be a wizard; I suspect he was jealous of Nate and the girls, who were now able to cast some pretty kick-ass spells.

Parvani was willing to do whatever the group wanted. Tanya, though, was quite attached to her witch-druid, and not ready to change.

We drank a fair bit - at least, I did. Even Parvani had a weak rum and coke; it was her first taste of alcohol since our prom. She glanced at me several times as she sipped her drink. I think she was grateful that no one else - except her sister - knew anything about that night.

Around 1:00 a.m., Parvani's father came to pick her up. Luckily for us, he just honked his horn from Nate's driveway - had he come to the door, he would have gotten a face full of marijuana-laden smoke when we opened it.

Nate and I escorted Parvani outside, and said hello to her Dad - from a distance.

- "Hello, Ian! And Nate! Thank you for looking after Parvani." he said.

- "Always a pleasure, Mr. D.." I said.

Parvani insisted on kissing us both on the cheek. I think she was just pressing her Dad's buttons, to see how far she could go when he was in a good mood.

I was pretty sure that Mr. D. genuinely liked me - but whether he would want me dating his daughter was another matter entirely. After all, I was no Arjun.

We played my new album, Derek's gift. That led to some stupid dancing - four guys and a girl - and another drink for me. I was no lightweight, when it came to drinking, but I was beginning to feel it.

Derek was certainly one toke over the line, but he was planning to sleep over. With Alan, I could never tell if he was drunk or stoned. Tanya was certainly in the 'happy' phase, but she wasn't too far gone - yet.

I was enjoying myself, surrounded by friends who cared about me. I was even thinking about telling Tanya how I felt ... which was a pretty good sign that I was drunk. The intelligent part of my brain was telling me to go home before I did something stupid.

But the beer was whispering inside my ear: 'Talk to her.'

So I compromised. I found Nate in the kitchen.

- "Do you mind if I crash here tonight?" I asked him.

- "Course not." he said. "Take my brother's room."

- "Hey!" said Derek. "Thought you said that I could stay over?"

- "You can. You can have my bed. I'll crash in my Dad's room." said Nate.

- "What about Alan?" I asked. "And Tanya?"

- "They're walking home, far as I know. Or one can have the couch, and one the floor. I don't know. We'll figure it out." Nate waved a hand at me. "You want a beer?"

I drank half of it. I had crossed the line, and I knew it. When the others decide to have another joint on the backyard patio, despite the softly falling snow - or perhaps because of it - I called it quits.

- "'Night." said Nate.

- "Goodnight, Ian." said Tanya. She surprised me by kissing my cheek. "Sleep tight."

- "Hey - can I get some o' that action?" said Alan.

- "I'm not sure that I want you to kiss me." I said.

I went into the basement. Inside Nate's brother's room, I stripped down to my underwear, and slid between the cool sheets. It was dark, and ... odd. I usually never had any trouble, sleeping in strange beds, but that night was an exception.

The basement windows let in a shaft of moonlight - or maybe it was a streetlight. The curtains weren't fully closed, but damned if I was going to get up to close them. I was fully occupied trying to figure out what the hell I was doing with my life.

Two days before New year's Eve, and I was no closer to unlocking the secret of Tanya. She liked me - I was fairly confident of that. But I had yet to see some kind of green light from her. Was I wrong, to be waiting for a signal?

I thought briefly of Simran, the unattainable. I knew that there was no hope, but I couldn't help thinking of her. And then there was Parvani. I liked her - no, to be honest, I loved her. I just wasn't in love with her.

Somebody stumbled on the stairs, coming down. Then I heard unsteady steps, and the light in Nate's bedroom came on. Derek fumbled around for a while, but he eventually turned out the light and fell into bed.

I had trouble thinking coherently after that. It was like being on a merry-go-round, continuously passing the same reference points: moving, but never getting ahead.

Then the door to my room opened, and Tanya slipped inside. I knew instantly that it was her. The shaft of light through the window was more than enough, to eyes accustomed to the dark. Besides, neither Nate nor Alan had hair that long.

I didn't move. I didn't speak. I was afraid to say anything.

- "Shh." she whispered, putting a finger to her lips. "We have to be quiet."

Then, to my utter amazement, Tanya pulled her shirt over her head.

I had a thousand questions - but none of them seemed urgent, just now. Especially after her whispered injunction. I kept my mouth shut.

Tanya reached behind her back ... and undid her bra.

My mouth was open - but she may not have been able to see that, as I was lying in the dark. I saw her navel (an innie), the fascinating flair of her hips ... and then her breasts - a generous handful, with pink nipples pointing upwards.

The expression on her face was curious. I was accustomed to her mocking smirk, the half-smirk, and the half-smile. But Tanya looked ... hesitant. Almost unsure of herself. I wanted to encourage her. But she didn't want me to speak.

- "Mmm ..." I moaned.

That produced a grin. "You like that, do you?" she whispered. "You're gonna like this, too ..."