All Comments on 'Gen: First Time Sex'

This story had potential, but there were problems. 1st, unless Andrea was a half-sib or step-sib, she couldn't be only a few months older than Gen. A minimum of 9 would be needed.

2nd, this moved from the set up to the sex to the proposal far too easily. It wasn't believable.

Gen just knew how to give a blowjob? She rammed his cock into her--when she was a virgin? In the shower? No pain, no stretching issues or hymen at all?

And nothing prepared me for a sudden proposal.

This needs a very thorough re-write.

First, punctuation. LEARN SOME! Second, how could everyone be so clueless to the fact the weather might be getting bad? That was artificial. Finally, the descriptions of what they do are just plain 7th-grade stroke fantasy.

Get an editor.

Pretty lacking in all areas. Not realistic, and your shoddy use of punctuation/grammar put those final nails in the coffin.

"She shoved him up against the shower wall", "their love toys battled each other" the clues are all there, ok you added a little about her breasts, but it's not good, sorry. Pity I could only give it zero and not a negative number.

some issues with the ages of the sister's and just the whole story is somewhat cheezy.

dont give up on writing just yet, keep practicing.

There are many errors in this story that are distracting. Like her sister is a few months older? Do you mean years? "Gen went down on MY knee"? Was the sex in the shower or bedroom, did they cum? Looks like this was written in a hurry, pity as the story has merit. Please edit and continue their story.