All Comments on 'Get Up! To Get Down! Ch. 01'

so lets not beat around the bush give us more this might be the start of a BEAUTIFUL RELATIONSHIP

Yea i need the next chapter ASAP!!

I love stories between black women and other races or in this case non-human, I love those stories the best. I can't wait til the nxt chapter.

Wonderful! Please continue your story, I love the beginning and the creativity of the story.

So many people start people do not finish their story on this site and do not finish, please do not be one of those author.

Love the story*****+*****

You have a lot of exclamation points that distract from the dialogue.Also the characters seem very fake. It's hard to connect with them because they all seem too animated. Work on your character development. The characters seem a little immature and unrealistic.

Peace and Love

Though this story was somewhat hard to follow, like being in a crowded restaurant with everyone talking type of feeling. I think you should continue, I would love to see where this story goes with the help of an editor.

I agree with the others please continue,darling it's a lovely story.

I agree with Anonymous about fixing the characters and developing them more, I know this is fiction but the characters seems very fake and contrived that they don't seem very believable even for fiction. I had a hard time getting through it without pausing because of the characters' internal thoughts was a bit off due to wording/phrases used. I do believe the direction you are going in is a great one and the beginning of the plot is good its just that the characters doesn't leave a lot to be desired for me...so 4/5 stars. But good luck and I am sure this story would get better as it progresses! Sorry for being picky : )

Very imaginative first submission. Write some more chapters and I'm sure everyone will be happy.

why is this not in the nonhuman section? why did we have to wai til the last paragraph to get that info?

As a few others have noted, deepen your characters, but that aside, I think this is going to be a fun story!

An Italian vampire. I love it!!!! Please update soon. Excellent start to the beginnings of a great story.

I admit I stopped after the first page. It was boring, all one sentence. You don't find out this is a black family until half through it. Why does a black family mutter yidish? Wow what strange names? I got lost was katia and Bella the same girl? Also I doubt a huge lottery winner would be dateless for any event. Future advice - let up on the anywho and very few people have any reference to the 1930's actress Veronica lake

at first it was boring, like they were rumbling on about nothing then when she met him. then it became great to read.

some of the phrases you use are distractions from the monologue and dialogue. I like this story like someone said an Italian vampire and a black human woman... different. I wish there were more interracial romances featuring black woman. but back to the slang, turn it way downa notch. the paragraph where she announces 'crack is whack' and 'boo boo the fool' that sounds so immature for her age. I could be wrong, but that is a conversation for girlfriends and family members, some random white guy she just met. she could have said..."Look I appreciate your offer, but really, I don't know you from Adam; and I'm definitely not trying to be listed on a milk carton under lost but not found," just a suggestion, I through that milk carton in for your ration of slang. please look at this as constructive criticism, I do like your idea for the story! :)

cut back on the black slang, I cant wait for new update I like it

You just say "like" a lot and it's not need it and it became a little annoying but still a wonderful you should continue it.

Please edit and leave the repetitive ebonics on the sidelines. It makes your story tacky. As if a gay flamer is explaining directions to a homophobe. Looking forward to reading the edited version. Thanks for sharing.