All Comments on 'Getting Revenge with Grandpa Ch. 02'

YOU DID A GREAT JOB WITH THIS STORY AS THOUGH YOU'D HAVE THIS FANTASY OR DREAM OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND AWAKEN AND WRITE IT DOWN AS TO GET EVERY DETAIL! HOWEVER, YOU HAVE ONE PROBLEM AND I HOPE YOU TAKE THIS AS CREATIVE AND HELPFUL CRITICISM. YOU HAVE THE SAME BAD HABIT AS SO MANY OTHER WRITERS HERE. YOU GET INTO THE HYPER-HYPHENATION MODE AND PUT DASHES AND DOTS EVERYWHERE IN YOUR STORY TO EMPHASIS PAUSES AND EFFECTS. NOT NEEDED AND HAD A STORY LIKE THIS MANAGED TO MAKE IT TO MY SECRETARY SHE'S HAVE TOSSED IT OR I'D HAVE SPANKED HER ASS CHEEKS AND CUT HER OFF MY COCK FOR A WEEK AS PUNISHMENT. TRY LOADING THIS STORY INTO A TEXT READER AND LISTEN TO IT OR ANYONE ELSE'S STORY. I KNOW THEY DON'T TEACH YOU TO ADD THE DOT DOT DOT's IN YOUR HIGH SCHOOL LIT CLASSES SO WHY ADD THEM? FUUUCCCKKK IS THE SAME AS FUCK AND DAMN WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? "W-...wh-...what?" LOAD THAT INTO A TEXT READER PROGRAM AND LISTEN TO IT! SORRY BUT WHEN YOU'VE BEEN IN THE BUSINESS OF CORRECTING / EDITING A TOP TEN BEST SELLER? ALL I CAN SAY IS, "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Still no reason for the daughter and grandfather to talk about the mother like that. Unreal a girl would talk about her mother to her grandfather like that with the swearing and all. No way they lived together for over 15 years and the mom and grandfather were fucking and she didn't know. Or thatbhe would allow her to act like that. If you wanted to change the ending you should have changed the whole thing and had it from the moms perspective or the grandad.