Good Boy

"Ooh, you dirty girl. Haha. Put it on! Put it on!" yelled Michelle as she excitedly bounced up and down on the bed like a 5-year old.

"Okay." Larisa put the video on. "Just PLEASE don't tell him or anyone else. I want to be the one to tell him." Michelle jumped in my chair to get a good seat.

"I promise." Both girls started watching the video in silence. Michelle broke the quiet. "Wow, that's a nice dick." She grabbed Larisa and pulled her onto her lap as they watched the two of us have sex.

"Yeah. It felt so good in me."

Michelle was getting really horny.Maybe I didn't mention it before. If you couldn't figure it out for yourself, Michelle was a very... sexual person. Cough whore cough.She wrapped her arms around Larisa's waist and leaned her head against her, smelling her hair. The two girls gave the dirty movie their full attention. Slowly, Michelle moved her hand from Larisa's waist to her breast, cupping it gently through her shirt. Larisa didn't respond. She was getting horny as well, but just kept watching the historic video playing on the screen. Michelle gently kissed Larisa's neck. "Riss," she said between kisses, "I want you so bad. I don't think I'm able to control myself."

"Mmm, Michelle... We shouldn't." Larisa was getting really aroused from the video and her friend's sexual advances.

"I know you want to baby. Your nipples tell me you want this just as much as I do. Don't deny it," she said as she slipped her hand under Larisa's shirt, squeezing her bare tits.

"Mmmm... Michelle... I don't know if we should do this again. You remember what happened last time."

"Baby," said Michelle as she turned Larisa's head sideways, French kissing her. Her tongue moved across Larisa's lips like a snake. "Things will be different this time. I promise."

Larisa's cell phone rang, interrupting the moment. Michelle continued to suck on her friends neck as it rang.

"Michelle! Stop it!" she giggled. "It's my mom!" She knew who it was from the caller I.D. Larisa got off her friend's lap and moved across the room. "And lower that! Haha," she laughed as she clicked the answer key on her phone. "Hey mom."

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When I came back from class, the Larisa and Michelle weren't there. I was disappointed because I really wanted to fool around and be with Larisa. I couldn't stop thinking about her all through class, or Michelle for that matter. Lee had gotten let out early again, so he beat me back to the room. "Hey, do you know where the girls went?" I asked. I really wanted to kiss her, or at least get a dry hump.

"No idea. I know Michelle and me are supposed to hang out later on. I guess they went back to her place?"

"Ok." All through class I couldn't stop thinking about my girlfriend or the dream I had. I did know one definite way to pass the time. "Lee. Subs?"

"Subs?" he responded as he threw his hands up in question.

"Subs." That's how we asked one another if we wanted do anything. One of us would ask. Then the other person would ask. Then the first person said it again. The sub line at dining hall takeout room was usually at least a forty-five minute wait. These subs weren't the best, but they were guaranteed to give you explosive diarrhea. When we got to the takeout room, the line was surprisingly short. We each got our two usual subs and came back to the room. We put on the latest episode of24 as we consumed mass quantities.

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Michelle ended up showing up at our room a few hours later. "I'm sorry so I'm late," she said as she did her patented knock on the door and immediately walk into our room. This girl LOVES the barge in.Phil LOOOVES the cream pies. I borrowed a porn CD from him once and it was filled with cream pie videos.I really didn't care because of what happened before. Maybe, one time she'd come in and catch me jerking off and offer to lend a hand. ...Or a mouth. Hell, I'd take a foot.

"It's cool. You were supposed to be here a while ago," said Lee.

"I know. I have bad news." She looked at me. It was one of those looks you give someone when you say their dog had to be put down. My stomach immediately felt weird and I started to get worried. I knew it wasn't because my dog had to be put to sleep. I fucking hate dogs. They're all killers.

"Larisa's dad died. She's on a plane home now."

"What?!" I said.

"Jeez... For real?" Lee asked.

"Yeah. He had a heart attack. She found out right after you guys left for class. Her mom called her and I drove her to the airport."

"Oh God," I said. I felt so bad for her. I wanted to be there for her, to hold her, to comfort her.

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I tried calling Larisa later on that day to tell her how sorry I was about her dad. However, her phone was off, so I was stuck with leaving a message. I got her address from Michelle and I sent flowers. I figured that would be nice. For some reason, I didn't fly out to California to see her. I knew that would have been the unexpectedly romantic and amazing thing to do. As crappy as my excuse was, I kept telling myself it was acceptable. I had exams coming up next week and a million other excuses not to go visit her.

I never got a response. I called Larisa again and again. It ate me up inside that she wouldn't call me back. I just wanted to be there for her. I kept trying to figure out if she was really busy, or if she was too upset about her dad to talk to anyone. It even crossed my mind that she could have been mad at me for something. When Michelle went back to school in California later that week, she had trouble getting in touch with Larisa. She couldn't get a reason from Larisa as to why what happened, happened.

Days turned into weeks. Eventually the semester ended and Lee and I went home for summer vacation. We lost touch and didn't talk much. We grew tired of each other from constantly being together, making us both crave a desperately needed break. No Larisa news came from Michelle, so that didn't help me and Lee keep in touch. That day was the last time I heard from Larisa.

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So just about a year has passed since that day the girl I loved, my dream girl, disappeared from my life without a reason. Well, I mean there was a reason, but I didn't have a clue as to what that reason was. I decided to live with Lee again in a different dorm. Right now I was in the middle of my junior year of college. This year was going a lot better than the previous one. The building was a lot friendlier and I was living in the same dorm as a lot of my friends. I did my best to forget about Larisa and what happened. On one hand, I could always tell people, 'Yeah, I got with her.' But on the other, I'm still bitter about it whenever I think of her. She did mean a lot to me, after all. What she did wasn't fair. Call it bad luck. Call her a fucking CUNT. Whatever. Ob-la-di. Ob-la-da. Life goes on. Bra-la-la. How the life goes on.

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"Yeah. I'm going home this weekend. My cousins are coming here for a family reunion thing," said Valerie. She lived on my floor. She was a year younger than me and was pretty damn hot. She was about 5'6 with long curly black hair and the greatest legs you've ever seen. She was really athletic, having played soccer in high school. I wasn't really good friends with her, but we were cordial whenever we saw each other. She stopped by my room that day to ask Ross, who was hanging out there, a question. Actually, that was the first time she was in my room now that I think about it.

"That's cool," I said. "The closest thing I have to an extended family is like an aunt and uncle."And a second cousin I wanna bang so bad.

"That's not too bad. You live pretty close to here. Where are they from?" asked Ross.

"Yeah. About twenty minutes. Somewhere in California," Val replied. We all kept bullshitting and that was the end of that. I didn't really talk to Valerie for about a week except for exchanging pleasantries in the hall or elevator. Like I said, we weren't really friends, just cordial.

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Fast forward a couple days later. I walked out of my room to go to my journalism class. As I waited for the elevator, I just dreaded the hour and twenty minutes of boredom that was in store for me. It was one of those classes where it's painful to pay attention for more than three minutes at a time. Normally, I would walk out in fifteen minutes when I finished the word search in the school newspaper. I debated skipping it as I did a lot of my classes that semester. The ding of the elevator snapped me back into reality.

"Hey Matt. You're getting your test back today," said Katie as she walked by. She was in the same class I was going to. Same teacher but a different section.

"It's about time," I said as I turned around to the elevator. It's only been a month since we took the exam. I was frozen where I stood. Like Christopher Reeve, I was paralyzed.Maybe you prefer, like a deer in headlights? There was Larisa, standing next to Valerie, her cousin. We just stared at one another, no one saying anything. Utter surprise and anger filled my body.

Val broke the silence. "Hey Matt. This is my cousin, Larisa." I didn't say anything.

"We already know each other," mumbled Larisa as she stared at me. She looked nervous and uncertain as to what to say or do.

"Yeah," I muttered as I walked around them into the elevator. I stared down at my mp3 player as the doors closed, skipping to the heaviest and angriest Slipknot song I had stored on it.Yeah, you know what I'm talking about Gary. Seven words. Car alarm in the A&P parking lot.

"What the hell was that about?" she asked. Val never saw me act like that before.

"Remember the guy I told you about... from last year?"

"Yeah, his name was Matt right?" She made the connection. "That was MATT Matt?! Ooh boy. Small world."

"Yeah. Small world." The two girls walked down the hall to Val's room. "After my dad passed away, I blamed him for me not being at home when it happened. Because I was with him instead of my dad."

"Larisa, it wasn't his fault."

"I know. But you don't know what it's like to lose your father. It seriously, like, immediately fucked me up in the head." Larisa began to tear up as she recalled the events that occurred last year. She did her best to tell her cousin what happened through her tears. "I just ignored him. I didn't return any of his calls. He even sent flowers." She wiped the salty liquid from her eyes as she explained.

Valerie hugged her cousin. "It's okay. Shh. Shhhh."

"I loved him. And I fucked it up so bad." Larisa continued as she held Val tightly, crying on her shoulder. Larisa's emotions overpowered her body.

"Yeah, but he's a good guy. He'll understand. It'll be okay." Valerie rubbed the upset girl's back as she tried to comfort her.

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I couldn't have filled a post-it note with what I learned in class that day. I couldn't concentrate. My stomach was in knots. I felt sick. I felt angry. All through class, I just went over what happened a year ago in my head. Every feeling I had buried deep inside myself was coming back to the surface. I ended up leaving early and just walking around. I didn't care that we were getting our exams back. I just needed to clear my head.

I ended up disappearing for a few hours. I walked around and went to the student center. I just didn't want to see her again. Later, I went back to my room. I left my door ajar because whenever Lee was at class and I had the door closed, my friend Peter, who now lived next door, would yell out, "Matt is masturbating!"Who needs that? I took out my guitar and put on my headphones, hoping that playing for a while would distract me. I figured she'd be gone too.

I stopped playing for a minute when I finished the song I was jamming along to. "Sounds good," said a far too familiar voice. I didn't look up. I just started playing again. From the corner of my eye, I saw Larisa standing there in the doorway trying to figure out what to say. "Matt, talk to me." I didn't answer. I didn't want to answer. "Matt. Please talk to me."

"LIKE YOU TALKED TO ME?!"

"Matt..."

"I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU RIGHT NOW." I was beyond pissed off. I didn't care who heard me. I couldn't care less about how I made her feel. I threw my guitar on the bed.No, I placed it on the bed.For the story throwing it seems better. She closed my door so we wouldn't attract any more attention then we were probably already doing.

"Just let me explain!" she pleaded as she walked towards me.

"Look. I'm sorry about what happened with your father." I wasn't made of stone.Hell,I got choked up at the end of Return of the Jedi when Luke sets his father's corpse on fire. Okay fine. I cried once. "But you have NO idea how much you fucking hurt me! I FUCKING LOVED YOU!!! I told you all the shit that happened to me and you pull this!?" I was unleashing all the feelings I suppressed a year ago. "And I thought you loved me. But I guess I was fucking wrong about that."

"Matt I did love you. I mean, I do love you." She started to tear up, choking on her words. I didn't care. "LET ME EXPLAIN!"

"YEAH! YOU EXPLAIN!" Oh God I was pissed off now. I was almost as pissed as the time me and my friend Gary saw Tantric in concert. The show started three hours late and we froze our nuts off for six hours to have them to play four songs and say, 'We're going to shorten the set so Skynyrd can play longer!' Worst... concert... ever.

"STOP YELLING AT ME!" She was almost hysterical now. She walked backwards into the wall, probably thinking that I was crazy enough to throw something at her. She paused, covering her face with her hands. "I blamed you for not letting me be with my father!"

'What?!' I thought to myself.

"When... when I wasn't there when he died... I... I said it was Michelle's fault... and your fault. Because I was here with... with you... having a great time," she said as she sniffed and cried. That explained why Michelle couldn't find out what happened. Larisa blamed her too and kept her at a distance.

"Larisa. It wasn't my fault! You were here with Michelle. I didn't make you stay here longer than you were going to."

"I... I... I know," she stuttered through her tears. Her body slid down the wall until she was sitting on the floor, her head buried in her hands as she sobbed. "I needed something to blame... and it was you. I'm sooo sorry. You don't understand..." I didn't know what to say. "I miss him sooo much! I'm soo sorry Maaatt!" she yelled out, barely audible through her crying. She sat there on the floor shaking as tears poured from reddish flustered face. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.

I just stood there. I understood why she blamed me. I never had to go through a situation like that before. But I was still angry. I guess somewhere deep inside me I still loved her. I walked over and sat down across from her, pulling her into my arms. "C'mere," I said. I cradled her close to me, holding her head in my hand. "Riss, I didn't know."

She squeezed me harder than she ever had before. "I love you Matt. I love you and I'm so sorry," she said as she started to calm down. I rubbed her back, comforting her right there on the floor in my room. We stayed locked in the embrace of two lovers finally reunited.

I don't know how long we sat there for. She eventually regained her composure. "Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah. I guess so."

The silence was kind of awkward. "...So. Val's your cousin, huh?"A+ on the transition.

"Well, distant cousins. Were like the same age, so we figured we'd hang out. But, I really wanted to come here on the chance I'd see you again."

"Mission accomplished." I calmed down. I was still pissed but I understood her reasoning.

"I'm really sorry Matt," she said as she curled up in my arms.

"I know you are. How are you dealing with your dad?"

"I'm handling it. It still hurts not having him around." She moved in between my legs, me with my arms around her waist, my chest touching her back. "My mom's still really upset."

"I'm really sorry about that. I can't imagine how much it sucks."

"Well, I feel better now sitting here in your arms again. I feel so... safe."

I kissed the back of her head. I won't lie. It felt good to be holding her again. "Let's get off the floor." She sat on my bed and I walked over to my chair. I didn't want to seem like I would just jump back into her arms.

"You lost some weight. You look good," Larisa complimented me. "I mean, not that you needed to..."

"Yeah, I get you. Thanks." I mumbled under my breath, "An 8-ball of coke does wonders."

"...What?"

"Huh? I didn't say anything."

"Oh... New goatee too," she quickly added.

"Yeah. I got tired of the old me. It got me nowhere. Felt it was time for a change."

"Oh." She didn't know what to say about my new attitude. "Matt, I missed you so much. I thought about you every day. I just... I just couldn't bring myself to talk to you. I knew how much I hurt you. I didn't know how you'd react." She looked incredibly sincere as she told me her feelings.

"I thought about you too." She took my hand and held it in hers as she stared at me lovingly. I could sense she felt a great burden lifted off her shoulders when I 'accepted her apology'.Smoothest... segue... ever. "So what have you been up to lately Larisa?"

"Well, I'm taking some more college classes now. I'm almost ready to graduate. I decided to take a break from acting."

"That's cool."

"Yeah. I'm thinking of transferring actually. You know, move away from everything back home. Start over." She looked at me, hinting something.

"Really? You want to leave your mom, after what happened?" I asked.

"Well, I'd move next year, so that's like two years after he passed away. That's a long time."

"Yeah. I understand what you're getting at," I told Larisa.

"I was thinking about... about moving out here. If I did, we could be together Matt."

"I guess." She let go of my hand and pulled away slightly.

"You don't sound too excited," she said coldly. She looked confused and slightly offended. Those expression lines began to spread across her forehead and her nose crinkled up.So cute.

"Riss, I really, really want to jump back in your arms and act like nothing ever happened, but I don't know if I can. I know you had your reasons for what happened, but I still got hurt."

"Matt, you know I'm sorry and I still love you," she said.

"Yeah I know. And I guess I still have feelings for you. But I want to take things slow. I can't get hurt this bad again."

She hesitated. Larisa reached for my hand again. "I can't say I like your decision. But I'll do whatever it takes to be with you again."

"Okay. Friends?" I asked.

"Friends," she said as we stood up and she put her arms around me. She held onto me for dear life. It felt so good to hold her again, to have her warm body pressed against mine. I put my hand to the back of her head, running my fingers through her soft hair.

"I missed this," I whispered in her ear. Larisa locked her hands around my body as she held onto me, consumed with love. She laid her head on my shoulder and closed her eyes.

"So did I."

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The next couple days were pretty normal. I went to most of my classes. Larisa hung around the dorm with Val, meeting and hanging out with the floor residents. The two of us hung out a little bit, but the majority of her time was spent with her cousin. A lot of the guys on the floor were hitting on her, as well as other people on campus who heard she was around. After all, she WAS Alex Mack. Larisa was determined to be with me, never taking them up on their offers to hang out or go out on a date.