by JaneX
But both chapters so far have been too short. For what it is worth I think you need to flesh out both the characters and the plot. For me it works as an outline but not a full blown story.
Please keep going perhaps build up on further episodes.
Best Wishes
Tom D
The story? could have put chapters one and two together and still would of had no story, if chapter three is no better then you need to give it up.
I like this chapter quite a bit. The first chapter I couldn't really relate to, as virgin stories don't really turn me on, but I kept reading because your writing is very strong. This one was a lot more intriguing, and I appreciate your attention to detail. I will enjoy reading on.
I'm not sure you really need to separate the chapters, though.