by JaneX
You just get started and have good flow with your story and it hits the middle and end all in one. It is to rushed. There is no build up.
You have great potential. You need more character development. You need to paint a picture so we can feel as we are there in the story.
Starting to enjoy where you are heading, but do not rush things! Build your characters, give them depth and feelings not just lust! Looking forward to see more adventures of Jennifer Brown.