All Comments on 'Graduation Party'

You had a good idea here some what executed but the spelling and grammar was horrendous. **

live4thebj complaining about the grammar when his own comment is only semi-literate at best. Old proverb, twat-boy, take note; first take the beam out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

This story had a few issues, yes, but it was worth more than the two stars that fat-head live4thebj awarded; with a little bit of judicious editing it would have been a 5, but in its current form, still worth at least 3, which is a 'like'. Please do keep writing, and ignore wannabe intellectuals like live4thebj; stuffing your face with fried chicken doesn't make you a food critic, and OD'ing on written porn doesn't make your opinions valid; sitting there day in and day out with your hand in your pants, and occasionally spewing out barely legible comments just makes you a sad and sorry object of ridicule.

By using some words it lowers the story to appear as written by some grade school level kid. The most common and worldwide accepted term for or to have an orgasm is "cum or cumming" NOT REPEAT NOT 'come or coming' as was used in this story. Thus showing the author needs some lessons in proper terms for this form of story.

You critics need to realize that you are reading erotic stories written by amateur writers for the most part. There is no requirement to have a PHD in English Literature before posting on this site. You all sound like a bunch of old church ladies scratching their way through all the detritus in the chicken yard looking for something to eat. How would you critique a porn video? I envision a bunch of starchy blue haired bitties sitting around their coffee klatch and Mabel says, "Well that got my knickers wet, but did you notice the mole on her firm left breast, the pimple on her delicious juicy butt and did you see the big assed hickey on her inner thigh? Boy, I'll bet that felt good!.

Well ladies, pull your finger out of your neighbors ass and suck my penis. . .oops, cock. You KNOW what I mean.

For a short straight-to-hotness story this was really fun to read and the couple was actually sweet for each other, wouldn't mind reading more on them in the future. Sure some mistakes were made but they didn't diminish the effect of the story. Keep it up and hopefully we'll see more of your works in this category, you have a touch for it.

5* easily!

Guidelines for writers on this site:

22. The word "come," in erotic fiction, is used as a verb, as in, "Oh, I'm coming!" and the word "cum" should be used as a noun, as in, "She swallowed his cum."

Funny, this author gets criticized for following guidelines posted on site.

I give 5 stars to make up for the idiots comments

LMAO! Never thought to see such a war out here. :-)

Maybe it's not clear to some people, but I use the Queen's English. You know, the one that sounds fahfah-fah-fahfah-fah-fah. ;-p So, spelling is the original and not the US dialect. Less zzz and more sss.. Hmm.. That's what she said last night actually.

Related to that, and has been discussed a lot of times (just look it up on your friendly neighbourhood seach engine), I prefer the use of "come" instead of "cum".

Terms are a preference of the writer and I also prefer the use of "dick" instead of "cock", and "pussy and cunt" compared to "sex". You don't hear me complain though.

Maybe this should be a subject for the next discussion about the high literature quality of incest porn between literature prize winners. :-)

Anyway, thanks for all the attention! :-)

Your story was done well and many posts have some grammar errors; so don't sweat it. This story was arousing and Hot and to have a shy brother who has an older sister that is hot, big boobs, nipples and many other stunning features is great. I think he found his courage now graduating and being mocked, was all he needed besides having a stacked sister urging him to make her his and then they do it out in a public place and enjoy it. Your next chapter or two should now focus on how "big brother" uses his attributes to give her what she has always wanted; hot sex from him. If he gives her what she wants then she'll be his forever and they'll have a very hot sex life that they can share. They will both become stronger and enjoy their lives. I cannot wait for what comes next. Thank you !

And an well done, short presentation. Though the double full-stops instead of commas might be something to watch out for. (A full-stop is what those on this side of the pond call a 'period.') Grammar, punctuation, and the like are helpful, but if the story is good, I can forgive a lot.

Some are here for a story that happens to have sex, and some arrive at Lit for sex, with a story being optional. I prefer a story myself, with well-crafted characters who act believably within the framework they are written. So praises to your defenders and confustication and bebotherance to your detractors.

And now for something completely different. I was reminded of an old skit from Monty Python, and I'm sure my remembrance is not exact, but here goes. Michael Palin and Graham Chapman were in drag. Palin's character said, "What's the world coming to these days? I really must object to all the sex on the telly." Chapman nods, saying, "I quite agree. I always fall off." Slainté

Surprise! :-p

Some ideas just work best in other categories. Might have made her the friendly neighbour's genetic hybrid daughter, but then it wouldn't have the same impact, nor be what had happened. So, here I am. :-)

Oh, punctuation.. *whispers* Let me tell you.. *leans closer* It's all on purpose.. *looks around shifty* Replacing those with commas doesn't give me the same feeling of the kind of trailing pause in speech that I need..

Anyways, *clears throat* to Monty Python! There will never be a bunch of guys like that ever again. Skol!

I always find it amusing that people get more hung up on punctuation than the content, especially in a well crafted, albeit it short, story. I have never read a story by this author before, but now he has strayed into my preferred genre I hope that he will be a regular visitor.

Although we were not treated to much back story, the characters became lucid very quickly in my imagination and their interactions were believable, if somewhat rushed. The story rolled on nicely, and the roll reversal between little and big was an interesting angle. I noticed that that in reply to a comment the author had noted that it could have been the architival girl next door as our heroine. However I feel he was correct in his assumption it would not have carried the same weight if it had been, and the role reversal would not have had any real basis either. There is obviously room to extend this into a series but I don't feel this is his intention, somewhat unfortunately.

As a final note, the introduction where the author informed us that the situation was true just not the outcome has left me wondering if it had been a deep seated wish of his that has burst through in prose, and could even have been an opportunity missed?

I'm glad you noticed the role reversal which happened while writing.

I hadn't planned on that but thought it an extra touch without making it go into master and slave territory.

I haven't planned on any sequels, since this story just came as an idea to use when the memory popped up last week, but I do think the characters on their own are fun to use. So, if an interesting idea pops up I might just use them again.

And to ease the inquiring minds, no, I like my sis a lot and we can act like little kids together, but I'm not interested in that sort of thing.

The writing of stories is much more stimulating. :-p

Leave it to the anonymous troll to point out the grammar errors. Do they forget that this is a porn site, and not "Barnes & Noble".Worrying about grammar while you're trying to jack off is just stupid & a real downer. That's the last thing in my thoughts. That's like watching porn and commenting how badly dressed they are, I mean who the fuck cares. Just write the story as you please hon, don't worry about grammar errors, and make everyone ave to sign in to leave a comment it is your right, and I do support an authors rights.

Very nice story! It is a plot that I haven't read very much... Very original writing (in my mind and eyes)! NOW I AM off to see what else you have written and eagerly await future posts!

done the deed, went back out, decided to tell all she's his sister, why the fuck would he kiss her in front of everyone? made him go from zero (start point) to hero (hot gf) to midway (played on on them) to bad roumer (remember him, the one dating his sister?)

For the brother it's more like going from "loser nerd" to "how the hell did he do that!?" and finally to "Holy shit that dude's a seriously bad motherfucker!".

Besides, his sister loves his bad boy side and doesn't mind showing how much. :-)

I know it sound stupid at the end to suddenly tell everyone she's his sister, but I get the author. My sister and I loved going to swinger parties, revealing to others we were sister and brother while I was inside her, its a huge rush to incestuous lovers who constantly have to hide their love from others.

Exactly. Once they were free of hiding their true feelings, they, and especially the brother, felt like shedding the meek and nice guy façade and revel in their wickedness.

They're not hurting anyone, so why keep it hidden?

I'm glad it turned out okay for you two. There's so much bad being said about incest that often people forget there can be something good too.

Sometimes you find your love far away, sometimes it's just next to you.

I think there are also many misconceptions like any children being unhealthy. That's not how nature works. It takes many generations of inbreeding before any health issues appear. Just look at how long inbreeding had been going on in medieval times and how long it took for anything to happen.

If two people truly love each other, they should be free to act on it without judgement.

The one comment I'd make about content of the story is that the 'big brother'/'little sister' play was overdone, it might have played better if they'd used their real names once in a while, slipping out of character, then slipping back in. In fact, except for telling us her name in the narration, did Richard call her Terrie even once in the dialogue??

I see your point, but the only time it would have fit is at the end when he introduced her.

My sister and I hardly ever used our names and always called each other by our nicknames. :-) That's the closeness I want to portray between the siblings.

'I grinned at how she enjoyed going around without the restriction of a bra. I preferred that anyway, not just because it's more exciting, but also because it actually lessens them sagging.'

...lol, what universe is he in where gravity works backwards for tits? Hehehe!

Actually, a while ago a (female) researcher released results from a long term project, which showed that women who didn't wear bras had less sag in their breasts than those that wore bras as they got older.

Might have to do with skin getting weaker when it never feels any strain.

That was pretty hot

i think the story is ok. my only problem is it's a bit over the top like another commentator already pointed out (never using their proper names). the dialogue and themes are like straight from japan. and while that is fun and lighthearted it's still pretty unreal. unless they would have experience together knowing about their hentai-fetishes and preference for talking that way. otherwise it seems very out of character.

I thought this was a very good story. My only complaint was him telling the others she was his sister and then kissing her in front of them.

I read the comments first. I'll pass on this story.

That was just completely fucked you used the word brother sister or little sister way to many times further more little sister makes it sound like the character is a pervert and a child molester I'm well aware that this is a fantasy which makes it sound worse cause it shows to me and makes it sound to everyone that your fantasies is of child molestation I don't even see how this was allowed to be posted they should definitely send inquiries about you cause of this and bann any other stories that you have wrote or will be trying to submit here I'm going to be flagging this as inappropriate and ask it to be removed

[06.08.22]

Very Fun!

11/10!!!!!

Like the story, a lot. AAAAA++++

Yeah definitely a damn fantasy and just a stroke story

hot story, i think they are a few siblings that fuck like these siblings.

What in the ass? You over used the whole "little sister, big brother," thing and it just became creepy. And the ending? Really? They just make out in front of everyone after spilling the beans, huh? Nevermind the whole incest taboo thing. This shit's fucked up.

How's is this revenge on the guys nothing happened to them so it's not revenge