by LittleRed12
What I don't like is that the werewolf girls come across as such weaklings, immediately submitting to the big, badass, dominant males, being the ones that are kept in the dark about everything, unlike the males.
After all in real wolves the females are only slightly smaller and not less determined than the males. I don't want to read about incompetent weakling females.
Forget what anon has said below...... good start. ..I am waiting for chapter 2
If he won't be faithful...forget him. It's his mate or nothing. If he can't get that, he doesn't deserve her.
Why is it the females are expected to stay faithful but the males threathen to screw around? Then have the nerve to get angry when the female ask can they do the same. He need to give her some time since she has to catch up with what everyone else already knew.
Wow, did you start out creating controversy! LOL
You do have a promising start to your story. I also, don't appreciate weak female weres. However, I'm willing to see where you take this. You do need to slow the pace down a little and putting in more details would help. Ignore the snarky comments, if just about the characters and offer no helpful advice, write your story and go from there.
Thank you all for reading! Those of you with a problem with weak werewolves or just weak females in general, I hope you stick around to read more. You're right, Clara is a weak character, but don't give up on her just yet! Every plot needs a little inner turmoil and character growth. Grayson haters, I hope you will feel better about him soon. Part two is pending and should be up soon! Thanks again!
Looking forward to the next chapter. Grayson sounds utterly irresistible cannot wait for them to mate...
I don't like the forced pairing.i prefer the pull of the mates,to me that shows more natures call then the old do as I say bullshit.
I'm really looking forward to more. I don't feel she's weak, she just turned 18 and was given shocking news. Keep them coming please :)
Please write more soon!! This is shaping up to be an amazing story and I can't stand waiting to read more.
...how really good this is. I've just started reading and I'm already a fan. I was a little shocked at some of the comments. Clara coming off as weak and Grayson's personality quirks are the best part--it leaves room for dynamic characters. Holy shit, I really hope the rest is just as good...
Planned matings are a lousy way to start a story. Especially, if the female lead turns into a slut as soon as a male breathes into ear! At least let her have enough strength of character to refuse the mating until she makes her own choice! If you don't, then change the category to nonconsent/reluctance where it belongs!
It takes a lot of the passion out of the mix.
Plus the whole planning of who marries who, especially since the males know but the females don't seems weird.
I mean what if she tells her sister that she will be mated to Aspen? Is this against the rules somehow? If not, why didn't Aspen tell her that he was to be mated to her sister? And if so, how to they enforce this?
Why would her parents wait until the day before the ceremony to tell her who she is to be mated with? Again it just feels weird and archaic.
It is very well written. I'm just not into the "rules" you've setup in your story.
Thanks for posting!
To Mine:
You must eat "lemons" nonstop you are always sour with nothing constructive to say.
I and others like the story.
Clara just turned 18 and is being forced to marry a 22 year old, so the kid is allowed to freak out for a bit. She did say in a room full of leaders that she had expected something else, and she did snark about her sleeping around, so the girl has potential.
In response to Mine as you have no other name to go by, I have a question. Are you a writer? If so, link us to one of YOUR stories so we can see your approach. If not, do us all a favor and stop being crabby and bossy. It's unbecoming and irritating. You have no constructive criticism to offer, just complaining. I happen to like the story so far and anxiously await more!
...but why does he/she have to be a writer to be allowed a negative opinion off a story? I admit it wasn't the classiest comment but I agree with "Mine" that Claras reaction is quite ridiculous and and slightly irksome.
first rule in writing a story ignore the comments about the story,i mean don't change according to them,and i m sorry males "are" dominant in wolf pack blame the evolution and mating habits for that,in alpha couple the male does cheat and on the other hand try to kill other males who try the same with his mate....so its accurate,also sadly monogamy or equality isn't big in animal kingdom lot of males never get laid because they aren't strong enough
I find it weird that she submits so easy, since her mother was so fierce, and she is the daughter of an Alpha, why would the youngest son of an other Alpha have any control over her? They aren't matede nor have they fought for control, it all sounds weak, but i'll read the rest to see what happens
Lol… how these readers take a story so personally. It is fantasy people, the characters and events are not always going to agree with you or your tastes.
As for the story, with only one chapter so far, I think it’s well written and has caught my attention 👍🏻
This is similar to many wolf stories, get over it people. It sounds right to me.