All Comments on 'Great Rite'

Well imagined and an enjoyable read. Just one thing that always irks me when I see it; arrows are shot not fired.

Thank you.

royally rebellious

maybe this story should have been in the BDSM section? Maybe so, maybe not. One mans romance might be another man's Hell.

what's a story without a prominent role for menstrual blood.

It was fun. Thank You!

But I haven't given you much useful advice. What would make it better would be more drama, more detail, more explicit sex. He lost his virginity rather brusquely and without much fanfare. And why did all the four wife candidates already have sexual experience? Shouldn't the kings wives come to him as virgins? With advice from the experienced priestesses there could have been really erotic scenes where the king and the wife candidates experiment and practice new sexual experiences together. And maybe as threesomes and foursomes.

Of course all the social and political interactions could have been acted out, with dialogue and sub-plots and the related intrigue. So I guess this short story could serve as a summary of a longer more detailed and engaging saga. It is a good plot with good characters and exciting war and sex scenes.

Thanks again.

Loved the premis, the action and especially the idea of submitting to 5 intelligent, beautiful wives. I gather in Japan the court women were the first to use writing and swapped stories with each other.

What would be a king ahead of his time, seeking the equality of women with men, although in this history, women represent culture and man brute force.

5 * for you.

I apologize for my English (yet, and forever), is not my native language.

this story was excellent!!! the depth of the charactes was immense. keep writing tales of this nature and your success is garanteed =)

(back when I was catching up on your stories)

5*. Well told. Good background.

Less than 24 hours since I read your first story and this one I enjoyed much more. A proper story where the sex was part of the story not the story itself as is the case many times.

I began struggling with the lengthy introductory information (up to Priestess Helena) but that’s probably more down to me being English and liking history generally than you as a writer. But I could imagine a lot of American readers dropping out, before getting into the nitty gritty of the story, but that would probably be offset by the type of reader in the Romance category.

I think you made the correct decision with the category. When it got to the femdom part I began to wonder why it was in Romance but as one got further into the story it became evident you had chosen correctly. As a femdom story I don’t think it would have done anywhere near as well. Although I do like history, not just English history, I would struggle to write a story like this because my mind wouldn’t work in the necessary way.

I always check the length of a story before reading, and 3/4 pages is usually my limit for both reading and writing. If not for my reason for reading your story I would probably have given up after the first few hundred words but I’m glad I stuck with it. I marvel at your output, as I do some other writers, in turning out what would appear to be an average of a story every couple of weeks. I’m not as industrious as that even though I am retired.

I do not take issue with your world building or your plot and story over characterization or sex. But the pacing of your tail and the somewhat repetitive sentence structure? A distraction to be sure. Also; menstrual blood? C'mon b. Nasty.