All Comments on 'Great Service at Buy Low'

by movie_store_girl

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  • 2 Comments
walkingeaglewalkingeaglealmost 17 years ago
Hot Vivid erotic fantasy!

Nice hot little fantasy, hurry with more!

James G 5James G 5almost 17 years ago
Needs serious editing

This's a great premise, but the writing's badly done. It jumps from first to third person sometimes in the same sentence, from being narrated by an observer to being narrated by the main character. There's one section where a whole piece of text is just MISSING.

Fix the technical issues & this'd be a much better story.

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