All Comments on 'Greek Life Middleman'

This story caught me at a time when I was regretting the actions of crude men. Such as Bran's brother. I don't condone violence and I had difficulty in understanding the difference between Bran and Daniel. Then I remembered the interactions I had with my brother so many years ago and I accepted that difference. I had many fisticuffs concerning morals with my brother. It is not the same details, but I was Bran and my brother was Daniel.

I loved how Bran stepped up and atoned for Daniels actions with Tara. I was horrified in how he treated her and appreciated Bran feeling for her and doing as much as he could. I was hoping Bran and Tara could somehow get together therefore making everything okay again. To me, Helen turned into his consolation prize.

Thank you again for the direction you took this story. Much praise for you!

Damn, I feel sorry for Tara... and unlike the other commenter I don't really think it would have helped either of them for her to fuck Bran. What confused me, though---and please take this as constructive criticism---is that Helen was barely a character before she came down to kiss Bran in the dark. The setup was great, and the sex scene was more wholesome than I was expecting, but I found myself looking back through the story for even a description of what Helen looked like. There was nothing, just occasional mention of her as the treasurer. It makes me wonder if maybe you got Helen and Tara mixed up. I think to make it work perfectly we would have had to get a glimpse of her, what her ideals were, how she viewed the whole situation, etc etc.

Also, I'm here from your recent slime girl story, getting ready to binge your collection since it seems like you have a cool monster girl connected universe type thing going on, and I wanted to read this one as a less committed one-off. I've liked everything I've read of yours so far, but I do recommend that you proofread your stories once before you post them, or get someone to proofread them for you. If you catch a few of those little errors, it'll make the flow of your writing that much easier to follow.