by Mainefiddleheads
I wanted Gunny to get in on the ass kicking with the guys at the end, but still good for five stars.
Gunny was such a dislikeable character and the story was just boring. Words don't make a story. Not your best work by far.
Gunny was a very good individual, I have a brother that's a retired Misguided Child, I'm an Army dog Ranger Staff. God bless the retired and discharged vets.
Damn. I want gunny to be with Macy.
But being a road bum Biker for over 45 years sometimes home & family. Right now I'd at least a 1000 miles away up a road or highway I ain't never bin before. 38 years of marriage and then find 10 years in I find my wife is a cheating bitch only marrying me for the money and the fun wedding. One way or another I'll be gone before Christmas.
I do so love it when justice is taken out of the hands of the fucked up american "justice system" which enforces an unequal interpretation of the "rule of law", based upon the wealthy, entitled, arrogant and corrupt(to their core) elites version of whats right for them vs whats right for the nasty, brutish, unpleasant, barely useful, climate polluting peasants. My love depends on whos distributing the justice, scum politicians-never, cartels-never, niggers who dont even understand justice-never, some ex Leos-yes, most current military and veterans-often yes. So just find me and i'll tell you when extra judicial distribution is required and justified. rk
Sandra was a headache. OK Gunny was often away but why trade for a guy who is bad in bed (and size challenged), beats her, cheats around (she didn't find out til later) and claims to have money, but doesn't. I would day that Gunny should not have needed to use a gun on the Asshole. With no prior offenses and his meritorious service, he could have gotten the order easily lifted way earlier if he had fought for it. And good luck with Sandra being able to pull the kid out if the country with contested custodian rights. Again maybe thr gun played thr main catalyst there. That being said it is not clear what Sandra gained at all from withholding Jace from her father. Also why the heck stay with the abusive scumbag?
An OK story, but there was too much US Marine Corps jargon for me - like ETS and Top - my head was spinning. Also, towards the end I got confused by different characters being introduced. Not nearly as good as this author’s best work. 3 stars.
Great story but, alittle to many stones with no mention of crime not solved.
Overcritical admits he was an O in the service. Figures. I am surprised he gave you a 5*. Consider yourself lucky.
For perhaps the first time ever I am giving a lower score than he did. The scene shifts were too fast and at times it was difficult to figure out who he was with. A simple dashed line would have made it easier to recognize the scene/characters had changed.
“...as there is with Laney and I” - Incorrect pronoun.
As there is with Laney. As there is with me. As there is with Laney and as there is with me. These are all correct.
Now shorten and simplify: “...as there is with Laney and ME”
Love the line about Jace keeping her occupied because if I drink I’m going to kill her and I’m staring at a fifth of rum right now. Absolutely cracked me up.
Wonderful writer.
I don't understand why he wouldn't end up with her. They weren't that far apart really and she definitely loved him. I feel like the end was weird. Can't give it 5 stars because the end was out of left field.
Enjoyed the story, but it wandered all over the place. If u can handle sudden flashbacks and clumsy segues, a decent story
Complicated, lots of characters, many story lines, but a great read. A perfect is length for telling the story. Just great.
I don't understand,he broke it off with Norma Lee because she was being too possesive ,so why did he get married where's the difference?.
As others have said, this fits right in with Macy's Choices very well. Thanks for both stories.
Having been separated from my own daughter during her teen years after a particularly nasty divorce, I more than empathize with Gunny and Jace. I'm also happy to report that when she reached adulthood, my daughter reached out to me and we reconnected. We have been "family" for over 20 years now, and I've had the joy of watching my grandchildren growing up.
Another fine 5* read! Thanks again!
....Gunny's POV to the already rich collection around this group.
One thing I enjoy more than I would have thought, is the close association of the stories. It's almost like an investigation into the lives and background of each of the people involved with one young woman, the focal-point in the story that launched the investigation in the first place. They're all seamlessly tied together. This is masterful storytelling and is obviously a hell of a lot of work. Your characterizations run true throughout, your characters are well crafted, to the point it feels like we know and like these people as friends.....or assholes, as you've defined them. If pressed, I would say your style feels a lot like Jack London's work. Clean, clipped, almost military in its brevity, yet filled with imagery and clarity of thought and presentation.
I for one, applaud your commitment to your craft and thank you for the gold-standards in writing and storytelling that you maintain.
As one result, I'm always up for a story from MFH. ....sir, you should publish.
Thank you.
I usually prefer to identify with the hero, but despite being an Army vet myself I don't think like Gunny at all. Maybe it's the O in front of my rank and E in front of his. Yet I could empathize with him and agree with his actions and reactions. I would have been very unhappy with him taking up with Sandra again. Most of the characters were well drawn and it flowed pretty well. I often find 4 page stories at the outer limit of my patience, but this was quite readable. A good mix of story and sex and I splurged with a 5*. I hate it when key good guys do stupid things and this tale had none of that. Thanks for a pleasant read.
There are NO AmerInd reservations in OK! There ARE a good number of Nations there, and they have their own tax processes and vehicle tags, etc. but non-AmerInds live in the same areas, under regular tag and county-state taxation conditions!
Elaborate but good story. Gunny is not your usual Crusader Rabbit. Easy to dislike a lot of the time ... but I'd much rather be on his 'buddy' side!
When Laney went back to her ex to try to work it out you wrote he didn't know how it worked out. Then he married her so he did know. Otherwise a good tale.
Nice conclusion, most people happy, the ex wife in her place, lots of fine ladies and all is right with the world. I like happy endings.
Gunny doesn't give a rat's ass who runs the place. He's only interested in whether Cosco carries his favorite brand of adult beverages. In your research you failed to realize that Gunny doesn't care about such anally retentive matters.
Yeah, we've all had weekends like that.
Reminds me when I tried the all Bourbon diet. I ended up losing three weeks.
Another good one mate.
Just the smoothness of the tale, the comfortable ease in your telling. I slid right in to the tale, and didn't even realize it until the end.
Nice how you tied up the loose ends about Macy, though there feels like there is even more to her story. Also nice to have Gunny's story, and a very good one it was.
Thank you for writing, looking forward to your next story, and 5 stars
A good story and an interesting reading...Well written as always by @Mainefiddleheads and someone said it "closed some gaps and filled in the blanks" left in the other story...4*
Excellent read once again! I really liked Macy's choice, and this just closed some gaps and filled in the blanks. Enjoyed it thoroughly! Semper Fi!
Daewoo asked "what'd they do with the bodies". Isn't there a lot of Gators down there?
As usual I'm writing these as I go, so some comments may be over-taken by future events!
Okay, I can understand the charges, etc. What I CAN'T understand is him being restrained from seeing his kid with NO evidence of him being a threat to the kid, and his only violence being provoked!
"His daddy is looking to try to hook back up with his momma is what it sounded like." - So what if he is? They're divorced, not separated, and just because he's still living in the marital home doesn't give him any particular claim.
"her stepfather had left Sandra" - I figured something had happened with her reaction when he mentioned her "fairy tale existence!"
"Sandra wanted to talk later but I blew her off." - Why should he talk to her? Besides the fact that nothing was said about a divorce from Cory, after the way she treated him he SHOULD want to be there at her last breath!
"Norma Lee" - Thank god! I was afraid it was going to be Sandra!
I liked your writing style, you don't mince words and you write as if you are thinking out loud. Nothing gets described in too much detail so the story flows nicely. What did they do with all the dead bodies?
You always tell the stories of people I have known all my life.
Thank You for the hours of pleasure you bring Via your talent
My title says it all. This is another example of why the author is on my "favorites" list.
Its got three marriages, a divorce, a walkaway with even bigamy thrown in for good measure AND bad guys, beer and trucks with not a smidgeon of nasty swingers anywhere to be seen.
What could be more loving than that?
You never fail to entertain me. Glad to see you revisit that area and culture. Nice work.
As said a good read. Characters could use a bit more development but I was with this one all the way. I've got the feeling that Trump would like it too. A bit of America that doesn't get all that much presentation. Nicely done!
All the way through this story I kept thinking about people I know who were either in the Marines, or were Green Beret's in Vietnam. Some of them are a bit rough around the edges, but a more loyal group of people you would never meet.
I enjoy it when a minor character from one story gets the detailed treatment in another. It makes it feel all the more real.
Good character development. Sorta ok plot, could use some polishing. Believable setting for a rough and tumble main character. I would have liked more father daughter dialogue to develope a warmth that is alluded to.
they all have a lot in common and use what ever it may take. TK U MLJ LV NV
Because the charismatic character of narrator made this an overall satisfying read. This was a role that a young Robert Duval would have had serious chances of reaping an Oscar. The authentic voice rang clear. Frankly I see the story as disjointed with the initial domestic drama clunkily segueing into ' the gemstone caper'.
Regardless the excellent character portraits ( especially multiple strong female portraits contrasting and contacting with the nefarious ones ) make me salute the story despite sporadically sputtering plot dynamics. I thank Mainefiddleheads for sharing.