by C_Lakewood
I really loved your story. The writing was very descriptive with a sense of atmosphere. The idea behind the story was inventive and original. If I had any criticism it would be that the ending seemed anti-climatic and rather short. Would you be willing to re-write that last part and flesh it out a bit? I think it would make a great story all the better. Thanks, Doc.
This was really an interesting piece. The painting and its shifting images was appealing, at times downright horrifying, gave me some chills. Oh, and this line: "Like her speech, her appearance might have been improved with a little effort." LOVED it! Really good effort, good luck!
However, i do agree that the ending is a bit perfunctory. It ideally should be extended somewhat, or perhaps you could write a postscript story featuring these interesting characters.
The sudden ending and italics were slightly irritating, but you have loads of potential!
the suspense was amazing, the fright fantastic but it could have been longer and definitely called for more sex... Great job, good luck in the contest
Congratulations on spooking me out. :) This is an anthology worthy story. Although the ending might have been a bit abrupt, it still left me with a lingering shiver.
It was a great setup, very intriguing and well-done. As stated by several others, the ending was rather abrupt. Perhaps the ending it could be rewritten with more detail. Then I think it would be a wonderful piece of erotic literature!
First, I have no idea why my story was printed in
italics. I certainly didn't submit it that way.
Gremlins, perhaps.
Second, the ending. Though "Halloween Gothic" is
the only story I have on this site (so far), those
who are familiar with my work on BDSM Library and
the Yahoo group Strip-Searched will be aware that
I customarily end a story with a resolution but not
necessarily a conclusion. This is done primarily to
allow each reader to continue to story in his or her
own mind, according to his or her particular kinks.
C. Lakewood
My thanks to Literotica for acting so quickly on my
complaint about the italics.
C. Lakewood
Very good, atmospheric story. Knowing your style,I won't critise the ending because I know you always leave the reader wanting more. Infuriating but clever!
I have added your story to my favorites list. I loved the concept.
It's in the wrong category. I liked it, but it's most definitely horror or fantasy, not non-consent.