All Comments on 'Hanky Panky'

A great story, better and quicker than Chinese Takeout, hot and hard, right to the punchline in Chapter One!! So we've lost another Chinese virgin? Give up the V-card, win a boyfriend? Great trade, really win-win!!

Keep 'em cumming, Chloe, love everything you write!!

You and an altar Chloe, is like most folk and a bed....

Surely, Father D'Souza is starting to wonder where all his altar cloths are disappearing to?

Excellent as usual *****

Chloe, you never disappoint! Thanks for writing.

So, what were Mom and Father D'Souza up to all that time, that left a smile on Mom's face? Maybe Mom had her own gweilo-boy hanky-panky?

It didn't seem to live up to most of your previous works, I don't know whether it was the language or the premise but I know it could have been better.

Great story line, thanks for writing.

VERY WELL WRITTEN, AND EXPRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the first time I've been sooooo moved, from a womans point of view. I LOVE IT!

Excellent Story And Now I Am In Want Of A Pretty Chinese Woman For Hanky Panky! :-)

But yes, birth control next time.

Chloe, I thought this one flowed really smoothly. You still have the most incredible ability to stretch a sexual episode further than just about any other writer I have encountered, and this one never lost its interest or intensity. A brief introduction, a long sex scene, and a quick conclusion. You do these stories well.

You have the rampant apostrophe almost under control. There were only two in the wrong place that I noticed (Old altar boy's, and One of the chair's). Those creative writing lessons must be having a positive effect.

The first page seemed to overdo the contractions a little. Sometimes a little variety can help readability. (Such as including the full " he had " along the way where the contraction " he'd " was used before.)

Overall, another of your really good ones. I liked it.

Your helpful pedant,

Lue

Cut a hole in the bottom.

Fill with ice.

Try to read one of her sex scenes without whacking off.

Learn the definition of "impossible."

5*

That's evil Gordo. I just snorted my coffee. And "Camel Toe" should be up either Monday or Tuesday if you want to try again.

She was 16. The literotica censors are asleep at the wheel.

Fourth paragraph- "eighteen last month" - I never go under eighteen. Literotica rules are strict and I don't try to get round them.

A very well written story. Keep em coming!

Too many wishful dreams about dates at the movies I guess.

I just had to get across how erotic your writing is. Trust me I could have used the ice :-)

Hi Chloe - you really are a wonderful writer, and this is yet another fantastic story. - romantic but very sexy as well, and losing her virginity on the altar was just a brilliant touch. Thanks again Chloe

Oh, so very well done!

Nice piece of froth and bubble. Your writing is improving all the time. Mom was right about Trey of course, but I am wondering what Father D'souza will say in confession

You knocked this one out of the park again. Thank you for the good read. again. I would have loved to have been Trey.

Jeff

and that is a good thing. I would however decent from those with wet vaginas or leaky penises. The story is one long tedious overly drawn out description of juvenile sex dramatically performed on the church alter. There is no character development, it is very racist, it stereotypes Asian girls as being easy and promiscuous and says nothing of Asian sexual viewpoints other than the mother's 'christian' admonishments, there is little background description of the male character and would have been far more literary if it was 3000 words. So dear readers, throw away your wet kleenex and let's hope for a better piece in the future.

In other words, a superb Literotica stroke story. Big smile

You are a very bad girl!

I love the language, just the right amount of "fucks", kissing, always the kissing which is my favorite part with a woman, the sheer sexiness of your writing...LOVE IT!!!

Great story! Please keep writing!!

Nobody with good intentions or a good heart has *ever* used the nickname "trey." LOL. Poor Jenny! Still, I'm looking forward to reading about how Trey convinces her to give up the backdoor.

Great job! Very nasty, very hot, very readable, very Chloe! It has been awhile since I have been on Lit, but the first thing I did was to see what you had written since my last visit. You never disappoint. Love your dirty mind! I will talk to you soon. - Hutch

Put your cock in, pull your cock out, Do the Hanky Panky and turn yourself about...

Chloe - please don't tell my wife, but I love you!

My girl doors not read English yet

This is story is so incredibly intense! In a very, very, very good way... Best story I read here, by far.

Great writing, great story telling. It was almost like I was there and experiencing it myself.

Outstanding story-- with each line you knew where it was going but no exactly how. I will never look at the alter at my church the same.

A lovely and exciting story, well-written and full of delightful details. I appreciated Jenny's inner conflict and Trey's bravado. I would like to follow this romance further.

You're gifted Chloe. Fun read.

Good premise.

Sex rushed ahead too fast.

Surely he could have suggested/talked her into handling his cock before the actual fucking comenced.

She could have wanted (or he could have suggested) that she feel how hard his cck was because of her.

Some mutual masturbation of each other would have been appropriate, and enjoyable.

Four stars.

Classic Chloe. Over the top hanky-panky on the church alter. How pagan.

She does like gweilo boys that resemble vikings. Untypical modest Asian girl ( Suzy Wong?)

Another hot read from Ms Tzang which I greatly enjoyed.

Thank you.