All Comments on 'Happiest Holidays Ch. 01'

I tried to read your story but the way you had to describe each and everything down to the most minute detail made it come across as borish and snobby.

Surprised you didn't have to tell us what style and font of text you typed it in.

I enjoyed the detail of the writing. Thanks for posting it. Hope it carries on into more chapters as we see where the twins relationship winds down the skillfully laid out path. -Cheers WS

This story took up three minutes of my time and fifteen or so of theirs. Not enough happened for one chapter.

Your always going to have critics but i thought it was good and i can't wait for more of this my head is swimming with my fantasies of what will happen next so ignore the critics

I'll try to keep pacing in mind more in the future, however it was written without chapters in mind to start, and this was the most logical place to break it off with events as they were.

And I apologize for not being vague enough, but if you really must know; Times New Roman, 12 pt.

Good idea for a standard sibling sex story, but I became grammatically confused in several spots. Needs a bit of editing. 4, for that.

Good character formation along with a good foundation for the storyline.

Looking forward to read the next chapter.

Thanks for the read...

I'am not a real fan of brother/sister incest stories, but this one sounds like it may work. The boyfriend always gets in the way, incest is a family thing, not a free for all.This story had a twist, TWINS !!!! . I though it would be a change. It's a good read well written and though out. Hope the next chapter is as good. THANKS...LAROC OF AGES

this reads like it should be chapter two of three or four not chapter one. wheres the character development? wheres the background like who is her boyfriend and why and when did she leave with him and to where? a lot of plot holes big enough to drive a truck through TIME FOR A REWITE.

wheres the background? wheres the character development? wheres the plot? why did she leave with her boyfriend? why didn't the boyfriend come home with her? why didn't he throw her out of his room when she started to undress? why was he jerking off if they were suposed to be leaving for a party? seems he would have known he didn't have time to finish it properly. this should have been chapter two not one TIME FOR A PROPER REWRITE FILLING IN ALL THE SCREWED UP MISSING PIECES.