All Comments on 'Happy Birthday! Ch. 02'

"This thing was going down faster than an Italian Cruise ship." -- Funny line.

Kept it up ill keep reading

Love the straight sex, love the girl-on-girl, love the incest. Just curious though, is there anything stopping Mom and Dad from "joining the game"? Might be time for some "wild cards".

I'm sorry about the poor editing. I have since found an editor that has volunteered to do that for me, but I already had three stories uploaded, and there was no way to hold them up from being posted. Please judge story on plot and action, and I promise it won't happen again. Hey, I'm new at this! At least I'm trying to pay back the site for all the enjoyment it's given me over the years. Cheers, readers!

I loved "almost" this entire thing. The parents part ... meh, to each their own.

And making the new guy gay saved it - I was pissed at 1st thinking he would muck up all the fun! Cool idea.

But 4 nubile virginal teen girls experimenting / lezzing out and then Big Bro coming (cumming?) to the rescue = a whole new level of awesome, VERY COOL!

So suggestion part...

Go back 2 years and tell the story of how the 4 girls started. Maybe 2 get curious and the other 2 catch them = my fave ... or whatever. A multi-part story arch even.

But 2 years of girl-girl leziliciousness needs to be described in detail PLEASE! :o)

OK, so keep up the great work & looking forward to whatever you do next.

(LEZ LEZ LEZ LEZ)

Great story but despite the other comments you probably shouldnt add mom and dad . Its like narnia..... you take the main 5 out and who the fuck is gonna like it now

I look forward to reading about how the game continues, brings in others to play the game. I think that limiting mom and dad's activity would be best limited to the peripheral, not in the game or involved much with J&J but maybe watching the game. Maybe even have m&d get involved with other parents. Maybe a story about a couple of similar teens who find the game on the net, watch and become guest players.

Please continue in some way.

I love your stories but I'm intrigued why the hero of this story still goes to bed each night alone.

It would be good to see him take control and keep Melody there for a sleep over. He seems so much more confident and the girls love what he does to them during the game so why have him waking up alone?

But mate this is your story and your doing magnificent with it and I'm sure it will continue being exciting.

What more could you ask for with Mom and Sis right there for Brother to screw? A live wet dream.. Thank you for writing.

Incest without taboo is just run of the mill sex. Sorry, started out ok in the first chapter, but then got boring uninteresting. It had potential...

you say you do this when you are not busy writing other things. i hope those other things are unposted anywhere because if they are not any better than this no one will want to read them.

Loved it, can't wait for next part, very well written

with this genre being as taboo as it currently is, usually the only way to push past it is through a deep love story. (which are great) Its not often you get to read something like this that can cross that line but without that love connection. - It was a fun read.

I thought that Jack would've been "hooking up" with Melody or Candy as potential long-term relationship; as a matter of fact my first thought was J & J, but you've angled the storyline away from that possibility.

I was surprised that Mom was the first candidate for Jill's DP because it would've made much for sense for it to have been Dad. Of course he could still be involved in her first "real DP"; Or for that matter; Kevin could've been involved (anal is anal) - it really sucks that he's never gotten anything except a BJ; for all we know Dad might be interested in something with Kevin. You haven't really angled Jack that direction other than he received anal and liked it. (FYI; I'm not really into anal, but you've already got it.)

I know that this is "a story"; but so far the activity has been really "safe" because all of the parties are known to be clean. However; you just introduced Jack going from Jill's Anus directly into Mom, while it definitely adds a little more taboo. It also starts adding "unsafe" activities. Next; we're anticipating adding outsiders; so CONDOMs should become prevalent... DKP

I just wish I could do all this but am way too old

Love this, but I don't think I could stand up to this now. Even with Viagra! From what I read though, I think I'd love to get hold of that Tiffany. I love small tits. It seems that theyre always sooo sensative. Good writing.

I did really love the storyline and the twists, some unexpected.

Quite an interesting and fun story. Really hot.

However, I'd reiterate what another poster said. Adding in unsafe activities (going directly from Jill's Anus into Mom's Pussy) is very unsafe. If you're planning that again (ass to pussy), please make sure Jack (or any character) uses a condom, or at least well washes their cock before entering a pussy, after being in an anus. Anus to pussy introduces dangerous bacteria to the vaginal environment, and will wreak havoc on a woman's internal bacterial flora. So please please practice safe sex, even in a story. And yes, condoms for outsiders.

What a combination of sexual hi-jinks between family members and friends of the daughter-sister. Remarkable concept on this story-line and you pulled it off and completed the correct concept of how to get various sexual acts done within a group in what was a unique gang-bang. Gave you five gold stars.

I really enjoyed that !

Shame you didn't continue it and cover the first competition, that could have been one hell of a sequel.

Maybe you'll do it in time, but if not, this story stands well on its own.

Well worth 5 stars !

Rapier875

That was great. Good pacing, character development, unique idea for the game, and good dialogue. Please, continue the story. Also develop more on the details of the encounters.

I’ve read this story a dozen times please add to it

110%awesome!

{ really enjoyed this story and can hardly wait for the next chapter.

I liked the use of Nerds instead of beauties.

Great sex is not only for hugh cocks and big tits.

Bringing Mom and dad was an excellent surprise.

Can’t wait for the continuing episodes.

Please keep up the story

Still outstanding. I am really glad Jill clarified her little snit with you in the common bathroom. Yes, it was wrong of you to think she was now your cum depository. But she could have handled it so much more civilized. Hell, it hurt MY feelings, and I am time zones away! I thought maybe she had pms or had started and was feeling very defensive about it. I didn’t know what to think! Well at least you guys got through that without hard feelings. It always seems to be something little that causes big blow ups. And no to any ladies reading this. I do NOT mean using her as a cum dumpster was minor. i meant her getting so angry with him rather than teaching him regarding his obvious ignorance. He loves and cares way too much about Jill to degrade her, oncehe jnew it would be received that way.

Will be looking for thenext part.

1/5