All Comments on 'Happy Birthday to Me Ch. 04'

It was good and very erotic. But we are now moving into a territory that I will not go. Thank you for what you have written, I enjoyed it! But this story even on its own pushed my emotions too far. Thank you for a great erotic tale, and hope you write more.

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

I don't see sex as a spectator sport.

If you've been reading so far, Chapter 4 is a straight continuation of Isabelle's evening as recounted in Chapter 3. So once again, thx for all the comments. Genuine critique's will be noted and I'll try to take those on board as this moves forward.

The POV of Isabelle? Right now she's an OMG OMG sort of girl which was sort of what I wanted to convey. She's 23, rather an innocent even tho she's married and everything that's happening is a bit surprising and shocking as well as exciting. She's never thought about anything like this. OMG! Okay, so I'm trying to work on conveying that a bit better along with a better use of dialog. Have to confess I rushed Chapter 3 out the door to get it done before I took off on vacation for the first half of March so mea culpa on that one guys. Thanks for pointing that out. Appreciated. Hope 4 is a bit better at that but it is a continuation of 3 so maybe ...maybe not.

Lordslamdawg - location? Yes, I should maybe get into the scene setting and make Singapore part of the story. It's a great city for that. Maybe with Chapter 5 I can work on that and tell me what you think. Also the male characters. Yes, point taken. I don't think I do so well with the male characters. Something to work on in Chapter 5 again as well as in my other stories.

Anyhow, thx everyone for all the comments and especially to all of you who enjoyed this series so far and have said so. I think everyone that writes on Literotica appreciates those little comments that say "I loved this" even without anything else. It's so motivating to write when you get those little notes that say things like "I came so hard after reading this that I had to wipe down the monitor" LOL, but it's true. It's why one writes this stuff.

And as for those darling trolls, luv you guys too. I know you read these stories from the comments and I do appreciate your feedback as well. All part of that great Literotica experience. Except the gook slut comments. I take exception to those. Gooks are Korean so lets not go there. If we're going with the ethnic slurs, please keep in mind I'm Vietnamese-Chinese-Polish and make the insults appropriate. If they are, they won't get deleted unless they're exceptionally tasteless. Promise :)

Now, Chapter 5 is coming soon and it does add a few complications to Isabelle's life. It's by no means an "all sex" chapter....

Thx to you all for reading my stories and commenting / providing feedback..... Chloe

Thx both very much for your comments on this and earlier chapters. And yes, this chapter was pretty much straight sex with spectators (and with Jim in the end...), which is where Kam's predilection's are taking Isabelle. I think you'll find Chapter 5 a bit more to your liking, with a few twists to the tale.

Ciao..... Chloe

I love your gradual development of her emotions, her reluctance, embarrassment and excitement. Very hot and very well written.

Since part 1 we could see where this story is going...And until now is going well, a married couple having fun with friends...But reading what the writer said in one of her comments: "I think you'll find Chapter 5 a bit more to your liking, with a few twists to the tale...", make us think what twists can those be...I liked the story until now, let's wait for what the writer has in her bag for us...3* for now...

but I kept wanting Jim to fuck her. 4 stars until Jim gets his huge cock in her.

As Impo says, it seems rather obvious where the story is going. But, as the old advertisement (for P&O ships, as I recall) used to say "Getting There I Half The Fun".

L

Well in real life they wouldn't even stay buddies, but I really don't care much.

What's next? Spread it around to others? Just finish this garbage. It's simply awful.

I am really enjoying this story. Keep writing.

You mean, you think you know where this story is going. Evil giggle.

And as for diseases, hey, this is Literotica. STD's don't exist in this universe!

Ciao....... Chloe

The way you have built this story from part one leads readers to believe what the next step is all along the way. However, you cleverly sidestep the expected every time and just continue writing and increasing the crescendo of the story.

Keep everyone guess until the inevitable happens, then make so good that readers will faint!!!

Your Friend:-)

I'm of eastern european back ground from the last century. Your story brings out an East Asian view of life that I rarely see. Your feminine point of view is also enlightening. thanks for the story. Looking forward for the rest. Wieliczka

I think your story is getting interesting now. You've managed to side step all of the normal pitfalls. I like this story and your writing very much. With each chapter you get more comfortable with your characters. Am waiting for the next chapter to be posted.

beautifully written, well-paced chapter of what is turning into a fine story. One small caveat: you refer several times (as do quite a few writers here) to "labial lips" but this is a tautology as labia means "lips".

Great descriptions and great sex. Waiting for the next chapter.

It's coming, it's coming..... she says excitedly, whacking away at the keyboard. LOL. Aiming to get it wrapped up and submitted this weekend, in between working frantically on Chinese Takeout Chapter 4 and a writing assignment for my next creative writing workshop which is due next week..... and cursing work .... and packing for an early spring weekend camping trip. And there was snow flying around the windows this morning....should be interesting.

You'd think all those creative writing workshops would teach you what proofreading and punctuation are.

LOL. Those creative writing workshops don't teach proofreading and punctuation at all. And I'm baaaaaad at proofreading my own stuff and I lack the patience to wait on anyone else doing it. I know, I know....I gotta get there....

Chloe :(

good stuff! the thought of two hot asian women, just keeps me hard! my only suggestion is more oral sex!

I didn't see any punctuation or spelling errors. I was focused on the story of the four characters. Those who found the lapses in proofreading must have missed the missed story. lol

Haven't read about the birthday surprise . Will it be a male stripper?

Keep up the good work , Chloe!

The tension you create in the story is an exciting component and makes me want to keep going. Very good story telling, realistic interactions and I love the internal thoughts you incorporate. Keep going.

It's either a mistake or there is some serious cheating the scores going on. There's not way this story is in the top 500, much less in the top fifty. Maybe the author has picked up Imstillfun's method of cheating. Complain to the moderators and get all the ones and two thrown out. That's the only explanation for this being here.

@kimi1990: Makes sense. That's why this has 150 votes and the other stories have thousands. There's no way a story that's been through the LW front page has that few votes without some serious shit going on.

LOL. You guys are funny, But yeah, I agree, throw out all those fake ones and two star ratings by the trolls and this story would be much higher ranked in the Hall of Fame. But you know what, when you post stories in Loving Wives, you get rating Trolls. Fact of Life. Really, who cares as long as you guys enjoy the story.

But I did tell you so.

Chloe, you get a nicer class of reader when you write stories in First Time and Romance. This was a bold move on your part into crocodile-infested waters.

Lue

Ps: When do we get more Chinese Take-out?

You did, you did and I believed you. I've read a few of these so I was aware of the shark-infested waters before I did my swan-dive in. LOL. Love it. These guys are entertainment at its best.

Has anyone else noticed that this story only has 180 votes? How is that possible? The only way I can think of is if the author is cheating the scores somehow. Something like persuading the site moderators that every vote except a four or five is a fraudulent vote. These "Happy birthday" stories were all less than 4 stars when they left the "new" page. They were in the low threes. Now they're in the hall of fame. They had 700 votes at one time. Now they have less than 200? I call that vote fraud.

LOL. I dream of 700 votes. You were probably looking at someone else's story. Thanks for letting me know these were in the hall of fame - had no idea. Never look at these things. That's nice. Persuading the site moderators? I'm howling. Have you ever tried? Ain't happenin' chickie-pie. The only thing I've ever noticed with the ratings is those one star trolls. No idea who that could be.... .

Now as for Hall of Fame, anything with over 100 ratings is considered. And the higher your score, the higher you go. 4.75 with 190 beats 4.74 with 5,297. Elementary my dear Watson. No need to thank me. Consider yourself enlightened. XOXO ... Chloe

@anonymous "Weirdly Suspicious" got it exactly right. Imstillfun does exactly what anon described and admits is. Pretty sure you do the same thing. You might as well own it. No way a story goes through the new section of Loving Wives with less than 200 votes. Most have 500 the first day. You're a vote scammer and no one believes a word you say.

Your writing is some of the best I've ever read.

Can't wait to read more, big hugs Lucky MM

Don't forget to add surprises. This is the most important thing in good writing.

Make people think you're going in One Direction, and totally change everything. It's the only way to blow their minds. Love to hear what you think, LuckyMM

Your now in my top 2 with this story. Bloody awesome. More more more please

Super hot action, made better by finally letting poor neglected Isabelle climax. I'm a guy but even I felt bad that all her thoughts were for Kam's orgasm and not expecting anything in return. Please educate Kam to be more loving to his wife!

Maybe Isabelle needs to vocalize what she really likes rather than continually repressing her sexual desires and pleasures to Kam and herself. Too often she says, I like this or that but would never admit it out loud to her partner, which would help both get Isabelle to orgasm with Kam.

Great series though. Hanging on every word.

This whole series is a beautifully crafted piece of work. I think you are a true master (mistress..?) of this genre. The excruciating titillation that builds and builds throughout each chapter, the pacing of each scene, the detail - superb writing!!

As others have commented, you are brave to delve into the “Loving Wives” arena - there are some truly creepy denizens of the comments section - but I am so glad you did.

Looking forward to reading everything else of yours. Thank you so much.

Good writing and an interesting perspective from the woman's point of view. Little too much sex for this old man and in real life sharing partners is not a thing I would ever do. I'm also sure sure there a few woman out there that don't experience climaxes. Probably less today what with the internet and porn. As a youngin' I sneak into drug and find the magazine section with nudist magazines, but they rans us out of there pretty quick. Then Playboy came out in the mid 5os I think but kids couldn't buy them, we were definitely curious. Keep writing.

What can I say? Hot as Hell!

really fantastic

Amazing series

Chloe— You certainly out the loving wife in the Loving Wives stories. Exceptionally erotic and well crafted writing—a smoking hot combination of a unique plot twist, an interesting variation on the hot wife theme, and outstanding character development. You do need some careful editing to clean up some obvious and distracting errors in spelling and word usage. Still, it is clearly a 5 star effort and a job well done! Keep ‘em coming, darling.