All Comments on 'Happy Valentine's Day, Little Sister'

I really found the dialogue to be stiff, formal and a bit unnatural, I'm sorry to say. I don't understand what the appeal would be of 5' stemed roses, btw. Along stem is simply better than a stemless rose as they can be handled and put in a vase much moreso that the other type, but 5 feet?

I agree with the other critic. The dialogue IS very stilted but readable. 5 foot tall roses. Jeez. Not sure on that. The story line is great. Both Lin and Crista(I love redheads) sound very sexy and beautiful. A man could die In a 3 some like that. (And?) It love to read a pt 2? 3? Five Stars

Dragonrider

I really enjoyed this and hope you will write more of it so we get to experience Christa and Michael. I also hope he decides to retire from the military and live with these lovely ladies.

Enjoyed this and, like the previous comments noted, would like to see a follow up on this story line. Gave it 4 stars.

Hope there's more to cum of this.

Another great erotic sexy story of love lost and found. I love the idea of Michael leaving the military and then becoming the man to these two erotic beauties.

You are one of my favorite authors and i loved your story of the humiliated mom.

5 stars and please continue...

It's likely that I'm far more a "You're the one I can't live without, and I want to make babies with you and grow old and gray, together" hopeless romantic than many other readers of this particular genre, but I simply couldn't find all that much in this story, to rave about. Granted, with over 41,000 Incest/Taboo stories already published on this site, it's extremely difficult to come up with a totally original story idea, but the author didn't really bother, much, to try and add some originality to this tale.

Valentine's Day is a holiday that is suppose to be ll about LOVE, not LUST, but the author trashed that notion, quite sufficiently, when he took the "person that Lin had been seeing" (and whom Michael was entertaining thoughts of replacing!) and turned her into Christa, Lin's female lover, and then proceeded to move toward some sort of tawdry 'threesome' relationship. Christa comes off, in the story, as simply a slut who is far more interested in sex than love, and even Lin's "love" is far more shallow than the feelings Michael has already developed toward her. They'll have their month as a threesome, and then things will fall apart - unless Christa finds herself falling in love with Michael, too. And, unless Michael plans on moving the three of them to France, where incestuous relationships are not illegal, and polyamory is tolerated to a large degree, things can never work out for this trio.

sissy is a lesbo and her pussy looks like a 9 yr old. she's in luck bro is a wimp with pedophile tendency's.

Great job! Developed the story very well. Loving concern and wild sex combine with the 'SisBro' angle. Keep it going!

are so petty minded as some on here.

Why shouldn't "Valentines Day" expand to include an extra person, especially one who shares love with the same person as the one you love??

Great "Valentines Day" it would be if he out and out rejected his Sister's 'friend, especially as he has only just met her!!!

Good story, well written, with just a very few errors.

I enjoyed the build up and the back story. The description of the sex was more erotic than explicit, and that worked well in this case. I hope there will be at least one more chapter because you have left us hanging......

Don't stop now!!

I hate wanna be writers like you. Your story is shit!

A bit to contrite but overall the story was very good. I sincerly hope you continue this story line!!!

I would think 5' roses would make almost any girl wet, especially when you include the mirror. What I dislike is people who hide behind "Anonymous" while either trashing a story or pretending to be expert critics. Just go away if you don't like it.. This story has legs. Please continue writing chapters. This is a very hot story and I want more. The conclusion should be after they have grown old together and maybe had babies. Whatever you do, don't stop now.

LOVELY

More of these three definitely needed!!!!

Nice sympathetic story 5*

It calls for more to fill out the leave time. So Michael can pop some questions to the girls. Thanks

Wow. Great story.

Please don't mind some of the 'Anonymous" drivel. The story's got a good basis.

I'd like see a second chapter covering what they do in San Francisco. Any nude beaches nearby? They could have some fun.

Excellent magnificent sexy ertico 💞💞💞💞💞!!!!!!!!! I hope this is not the end? You are very very good. Thank for telling about the roses.mmmmmmmmmm

After reading the story, I checked online and you can buy red 5-foot roses, 12 roses for 19.99 the roses are real, I was surprised cause I never heard of a 5-foot rose before this story. live and learn, lol. I did enjoy the story.

Darn! It looks like 5' roses are easier to find than 10" cocks or DD tits. LOL

I assume this is meant to be a one off but it would be great to see more chapters of how their lives progress together.

You're far too enamored of adjectives and adverbs! In some pages/paragraphs, almost every noun has an adjective, almost every verb has an attached adverb. You're trying too hard (pun intended!) Writers refer to this stuff as "purple prose," and your prose is more purple than purple. More purple than the head of an excited cock. Spoils the story.

There were spelling and grammar mistakes here and there like come instead of cum. Overall not too bad but it ended too abruptly and like a previous comment you used too many adverbs on top of verbs/adverbs. I am hoping for more

Unlike others, I was not put off by your use of adjectives and adverbs, as I was mesmerized by the story and how you had it unfold. This is good storytelling, and you richly deserve the 5 stars I gave it.

And, I might add, "mesmerizing" in the perfect word for a well-written story that draws the reader in and keeps her/him enthralled.

Because cutting the story off there literally killed me! I mean, c'mon, all that stuff with Christina and nothing to show for it. Much ado about nothing... Other than your sadistic cut-off point, it was enjoyable and I was thoroughly looking forward to the next sentence...until I found out I was at the end. I know, beating a dead horse and all, but, damn was it a deflating feeling.

I am still learning and trying to improve as a writer.

Lin gave me e days to write this story.

3 days

I really hope for a part two here, it's well written.

Yes I also hope for a part 2 but I must say I wish you will also continue your other stories.

Very good story

TK

loved it well written and very hot story my favorite so far in the Valentines contest

Definitely not long enough! There needs to be a bit more 'fleshing' out of the story instead of just the sex after Christa arrives. A little more romance (between Christa & Michael) in order for her to just accept that he is going to fuck her. More about what happened to Lin after he left would be good too. I don't know if I'm explaining it correctly, but hopefully you get my point. Good job though. Please keep writing!!

The plot is decent enough but the wooden, highly professional dialogue is a mood killer.

Would love to see a part 2 of this or more but also how do we vote for your submission.

Would love to see a continuation of this story! It’s very good

unsolicited advice would suggest you take a sharp knife to your drafts and prune the unnecessary. Some examples:

1. In a brother - sister love story you tell us that on the way to the United States the brother got a physical and stopped in Brussels. I do not see how those details contributed to the story. Did you want us to know the brother is n good shape?

2. The dialogue is stinted . People do not speak in complete sentences.

The sentence, "That was amazing, baby, I've never experienced anything like that in my life," could be, "That was amazing, baby, I've never experienced anything like it," which saves several words and sounds more like actual conversation.

The same goes for, "I am very happy that you have someone like Christa who loves you so much," which could be, "I am happy that you have someone like Christa."

For both these sentences the concluding words are inherent in the sentence and do not need to be said out load.

3. It is my experience that you never ever tell a woman how expensive a gift is. They already know. So when Lin says, "They must have cost you a fortune," he shouldn't say:

"They were that expensive, Lin. The look on your face and the tears of joy you made them worth every penny I spent," but leave out the first sentence and just say, "The look on your face made them worth every penny."

This could easily span several chapters. Please continue.

This has to be the very best brother/sister fuck/love story I have ever read. Truly awesome. The passion they share and have for each other is so deep and special.

Adding the girlfriend was not necessary, but certainly OK.

THANK YOU and would love to read more.

29 days to go.

two pussys...so why don't you bring in your boy friend and take it up your butt (1 star)

With all of the buildup of Lin wanting to watch him fucking Christa i was really disappointed that the author did not describe him fucking Christa, eating her and her sucking his dick with Lin watching. But, i figured he planned a follow on story where that was to happen. The next action would have been for Lin to have cleaned up Christa’s cream pie. A second part of the story seems to be mandatory.

I didn't find a damed thing wrong with how the characters spoke in this story. I really have to question how some readers are experts on how everyone in this worldwide society talk. It seems that those EXPERTS are VERY narrow minded with respect to the behavior of others or they are very poorly educated.

EXCELLENT!

I was looking for a second and subsequent chapters, you have given us three beautiful characters all of whom are in lust with each other, then you have left us high and dry. There are numerous routes that this story could take with Michael leaving the military and neither of the girls being confirmed lesbians you could have a long term threesome, early on you mentioned that Michael was considering a small place somewhere, the three could move forward together.

Thank you for publishing this excellent work here. 5*.