by flameinacorset
I love this.. great lead in and development. Climax was perfect.. Just wish the teacher chose to give the sweet thing a little anal sex while he was back there.
Oh, don't listen to the naysayers. It was a great first story. It needs developed; it needs more dimension and it needs to have a new angle on it since it's been done many times before, but you write well, and that's something that will carry you far.
Your story was logical and sequential; it's clear how one thing leads to another, and that takes talent. It's hard to write something that will make sense to other people, because *you* always know what you mean, but you have to somehow see it from their side and address that. I also like your confidence, calling it "ch. 01" (clearly indicating that there will be more). Keep writing and keep practicing; you'll be great at this.
Your introduction was weak, you might try with the teacher fucking her and her thoughts to reverting to how it all started. Make you story fuller with more details and history. Simple finish, you might try to set up a follow on story to keep the readers attention focused.
Similarly submissive young ladies normally graduate to sexual awareness, without help from horny male principals, fully aware of 'STD's associated with forcible sex. Delightful awakening to pain/pleasure experience, in an unexpected environment, was typical for early masochistic pupils.We look forward to your next painful encounter, with your sexy headmaster going even further, into your 'BDSM' or 'Anal' training? Oh; To be young again!
PLEASE CONTINUE WITH THIS STORY, HE DID SAY TO COME WEEKLY, WOULD LIKE YOU TO KEEP US WITH THE HAPPENINGS WEEKLY
I enjoyed your story immensely! I am new here too and I know how hard it can be to make the jump into actually submitting a piece, so well done!
I found Elizabeth's help invaluable, too - she must be a very busy lady to help out all us newcomers.
A familiar plot but very well told thank you. I look forward to more tales from you.