All Comments on 'Harem Mode - ON Ch. 03'

This was so much better than the previous version thank you for rewriting this chapter I just hope we don't have to wait so long for chapter 4 this was truly incredible

Loving how this story is coming together keep it up

Much better than last time! (Not that it was bad) Chet is much more consistent in this version. Unlike last time when one second he was a good guy and the next a complete asshole he is much more moderate, leaning more towards good. I look forward to reading more.

I’ve not much to add to the comment other than it’s a much improved version compared to the last chapter, particularly the lunch scene. Much more believable, even if I feel that the angry teen wasn’t fully introduced. That kind of makes sense though, maybe he didn’t know much about him other than that he’s ‘Wierd’.

Keep up the good work, look forward to your next chapter!

Cheers,

Dennis

Really happy to see the chapter lengths getting up there and loving the premise. Fun story and really just want more!

Glad to see the revision from the last version without losing the tone of the story, really great thing you have going on, please keep it up!

I don't know what was wrong with the initial draft but his insistence on chasing a girl already in a relationship is a bit dickish. My biggest peeve is his justification's don't feel real like deciding to not help out that guy and to chase a girl in a relationship both are realistic but his nonchalance about it has made him less relatable I'd expect him to justify it. I.e. I don't have the time etc . Instead all we get is "fuck it" which is a bit sociopathic.

While I don't mind humor but in some parts of it were looking like a copy of some 12 attempting at trolling one another blog. Other than that it looks interesting to see protagonist himself recognizes that he can have multiple girlfriends/fuck-buddies so I hope the story will go further into that direction as well (maybe he level up in persuasive skills lol).

Anyway I hope you will keep updating this at the concept of computer/phone/rpg mechanics alerting the world seem interesting.

Glad to see this story wasn’t abandoned due to backlash from the last chapter 3. Keep the story going there’s much more for you to tell.

A significant improvement. I'm glad you decided to go with something more nuanced, even woth all the fun and unlikely stuff thrown in.

i like this version a lot! This is a tough story to make, i can tell. gotta balance chet being a likable character and also make him not super grrat and perfect because if he was perfect, how wpuld he level up and grow? Maybe when hes doing something less than honorable we could get some more insight into his thought process? How he justifies his actions to himself. We all do things that we think make perfect sense but later we think about it realise "aw shit i was an asshole." I really like where this is going and this is a concept that I rarely see on this site so it feels fresh

I liked it. The writing was smooth and fluid, with just the right amount of weirdness to keep the reader aware that they're in the mind of a teenage boy, which is the same as being almost certifiably insane. Don't worry about comments on breaking up relationships. This is school boyfriend/girlfriend stuff, not married for thirty years with kids and consequences for life.

If nobody ever hit on anyone else's bf/gf while at school, everyone would be stuck in a relationship and then how the hell would you work out who you really like and who really likes you back.

Cool. I look forward to the next chapter. Don't be slow.

I actually check back every now and then to see if you've updated this story. I love the idea of leveling up oneself with an app kind of thing. Plus you make it such a process and not an overpowered thing which is great.

I wish I could find other stories with the same genre to keep me satisfied while I wait for a new chapter.

Is there a hack so I can read the future chapters?

This story is fantastic - would love to see more of it.

Hope there is more to come. Really like the story and want to see where it takes Chet

I’ve been regularly checking on this, as one of the very few that I do check on, since episode 1. I really hope you finish this series for us!

Hope you write more

I think this is a great story and it would be such a shame if you didn't continue this!!!

I’m very glad you replaced the chapter and I sincerely hope you decide to one day continue the story! It would be great to see Chet advance so much further on levels and see what he earns from it! Please come back soon!

One of the best stories I've read on here. Too bad it ended prematurely.

""Oh?" Kayla said in Australian, almost gasping with shock. Her accent came out more when she was passionate, a sign she was rising to Chet's bait."

If you ever plan future edits. Revisit this. The "in Australian" is a bit off and throws it. For one it is relatively hard to put too much accent into an "Oh?" and saying in Australian makes it sound as if you are implying that Australian's speak a completely different language instead of English.

Please continue this story.

The swimsuit bottom thing is just stupid. it wouldn't rip like that from standing, it might slightly rip from crouching, but not in this cartoonish fashion.

Also, the italien guy with the comb, and the mention in the last chapter about the meatplace, it's just stupid.

This story feels like you are trying to hit all the racial stereotypes which is pretty racist.

I don't know what's worse, that you might be doing it intentionally, and somehow think it's funny, or that you might simply not know any better.

You need an editor to inject a bit of coherence and common sense into all this.

And actually take criticism to heart and fix the current chapters, don't just rush ahead to the next one and repeat the same mistakes.

Dude. This guy seems to actually-actually have an serious masturbation issue :D I mean he can literally improve himself like video game character and my jacking off he's throwing points away. Come on now.

Ah.. no, friendlily is not a word. Amiably, affably or genially would’ve worked much better.

Your writing has improved.