All Comments on 'Having Fun with Dycke and Payne Ch. 12'

It's an interesting story arc, but please limit the number of commas to approximately 5% of the current total. The extreme number of commas in your story make it very difficult to read.

Please ,get your proof reader back . Don Langston cosmosenfold @yahoo

Bob and Fiona, after the wedding and maybe moving on with their own adventures.

Yeah, sometimes the "two" instead of "to" etc cause me to pause a second while reading but it is still an excellent story.

Thanks

All your stories get bogged down by your obsession with abusive, bratty, violent women and men stupid enough to put up with them. You give the women bad background experiences that you seem to feel justify their totally unacceptable behavior, it does not.

Like your stories, Hate your main characters!

Hard to care what happens to such unlikable people. IMO it is a tired, easy way for you avoid having to actually create characters, you just lean back on the old familiar shorthand and give your new characters all the traits of your old characters and just stick new names on them. You can do better.