All Comments on 'Hawaiian Punched Ch. 03'

Really liking your story, can't wait to read more!!

Someone obviously commented w/o reading the story. Val made it pretty clear that she's not letting anyone else fuck Lisa (something I would like to see) and it hasn't happened yet. This chapter was a bit long. Got the feeling it was to set up later stuff (Lisa's shock in adult store about bondage, sex toys, stripper clothes she wouldn't be dancing in anytime soon, etc and Val saying she wasn't going to beat her ass 'yet'. ) Your writing is excellent, but you could extend the hot scenes a little. They're set up nice, but you kind of rush through them, IMHO. Keep writing!

My girlfriend read ch3 then the whole thing. She usually goes for the period pieces with princes and horses and such and thinks other noncon is gross and badly written. She has this as a pdf on her tablet. Keep putting Lisa in uncomfortable situations,please.

Really liking this story and wanting more lots more

Finally fixed some cringe-inducing errors.

I was struck by your descriptions of female orgasm, especially coming from a male writer. They're not only good, but each of them was different. It's almost hard to tell exactly how they feel when you're in the midst of them, but I could imagine that some of mine have matched what you described. Please continue this story if you can.

Great writing. You took your time and made us wait for the seductive climax. Wonderful and so erotic♣

Do you have plans to continue? Hot story, please continue with more chapters!

Loved this series. You took the standard 'bossy bitch gets attitude adjusted' storyline, and infused it with real characters who only became more real as the story unfolded. Character development was evident as scenes unfolded -thinking about her dad, Val clarifying that respect underlay whatever play might occur, Erik's determined devotion and lust for her- and made the whole story sexier, deeper, better.

Anyway, I loved this series. Thank you for sharing your talents with us. Wherever life takes you, I hope you continue to make time to write.