All Comments on 'Healing Matthew'

to read. I'm not sure I followed it. I think an editor would help you make it flow.

this is mindless garbage with no real unlying plot.

<p>seriouswriter, you need a serious editor. There was too much changing of tense, words that were left out of sentences, vague references that should have been clear.</p>

<p>Still you have the makings of a good story. Is this the first chapter? If there are more in the pipeline, I recommend you get an editor, and even clean up this story if possible.</p>

<p>The potential for an actual new genre of Loving Wives stories is here, but it requires technical assistance.</p>

Edgy writing is hard to do well. Don't try to solo it, get an editor to help. A good one will hunt down the grammatical blunders, syntactic errors and broken sentences and tell you to fix them. At least that's what mine does. Good luck.

I have to agree with "It has potential..." This story might turn into an interesting story. It has potential, but it needs badly an editor. One more thing, the comment about the young woman WELCOMING cancer because she had augmented breast made me blink... No woman "welcomes" cancer. This line was not funny or witty and unless the author knows some scientific fact to base this careless assumption, the comment was careless.

it surely is different, w/c is good in my book.

I didn't bother reading for content. The style was so completely misused there was no point. The writer should spend some time, a decade should do, learning how to write before he attempts posting here again.

Please take the advice of Alvaron53 and theBullet as you have a start of what could be a good plot line. You should also listed any story not complete as chapter one as it is wrong to let people find out at the end there is no end. Also the length of a story should be a full page in my mind.<P>Don’t give up as time and experience always seem to improve us all in most things.<P>Looking forward to your next try.<P>PT

It is a well done vignette about the couple - congratulations 'serious'. I hope you can produce more writing of this quality (well, edited, of course!)<BR>

I am usually the first to complain about authors not finishing a story, but I thought this one had enough of a finish to be complete.<BR>

Do we really need every story to be novel length and detail all happenings, even unto to the fourth and fifth generation? I think not.<BR>

If <I>serious</I> really is serious about his/her writing, a good editor is essential to remove all the very annoying tense mistakes and incomplete sentences. Without those I could have almost given this a rare 100.<BR>

You know what scares me? I was actually able follow the story through all the lost trains of thought and jumbled grammar.

There were some issues with tense and perhaps a few typo's here and there, but over all the story was edgy and had a new view that quite frankly, I've never seen before. I liked it though it took a bit of read-re-read to get it all in like intended.

You've gotten some good advice here and there in the comments section so all I'll say now is, thank you for sharing your story with us, and hang in there. You have talent and a good editor will help you more than a little.

I see a great story hidden in the confusion of grammar. I'd like to see a little more middle to the story of why they married in the first place. Good story (besides the editing). I liked the patter between the two a lot. A couple of characters I'd like to get to know better. Thanx for the read LYG

The total lack of editing nearly prevented me from reading it. As to the "ending"... If there had been a middle it would have been an interesting sudden chop. But I never got a real feeling for who the main characters were. Other than poor misunderstood millionaires progeny, with too much money and too much self-inflated worth to make anything of themeselves.

please continue!!

Very Good Start but it ends in a most unsatisfying way.

You should consider Following - up

This story has alot of Prtential if you get Into the Characters.

If your a seriouswriter I must be the saviour J.C.,,,,,,,,,NOT

Wow, so sweet. Loved the understatement.

A very interesting introduction to a unique relationship. Well done.

So, they say when she's 18 and he's 23... Making when he was maccing on her she was 17 and he was 22. Does she really feel he's a pervert for that...?

And she hasn't had sex for years... and he doesn't believe she's ever had an orgasm... am I to assume at SOME point HE had sex with her...?

What's their issue...? Is this a case of people so rich they have value systems so fucked up that being married can entail NOTHING more than having paper saying it's true...? No apparent connections beyond that...?

Or did they put ANY effort into determining they had nothing in common, besides disliking the fakeness of the people in their lives at their social level...?

Really feel the need for more here...

poorly written.

Totally pointless.

Get with someone who does speak it natively and see if they can't grasp what you're trying to say. Then resubmit.

Learn grammar!

Learn tenses!

"You can't out-smoke, out-drink and out-sex the pain," Joan persisted wanting him to open up and talk about it..."It does. Especially the sex...”

‘It does?’

What ’it?’ You never established ’it!’

If English isn’t your first language then this is understandable; either way, you need an editor.

Seriously,writer, you have no clue about what you are trying to do.

Screw the trolls, if you're ever back, I would be interested in a continuation of the story, or perhaps your permission for me to continue it on your behalf.

What the hell is going on here, and I don’t mean with the story. Did you just fall off a ledge somewhere? 2**