All Comments on 'Hearts of Warriors Ch. 18'

Like Always I look forward to the rest :)

Can't wait for the next chapter!

But way to short! Your writing is so good that I easily get caught up in the story, and before I know it, it's over. I feel like I only read 3 paragraphs. Lol

Can't wait for more more more !

Nicole

Once again, you've managed to put us through a whirlwind of emotions in a remarkably short period of time. I alternated between joy and terror, sympathy and rage in a matter of minutes. Your heart stopping stories always leave us wanting more. While I can't wait for the next few chapters, I will definitely be sad to see the end of this book.You can't leave so much unanswered! I hope you plan on resolving some of our questions before leaving us hanging for months on end :P (though i must give my heartfelt wishes of success to you in your endeavour to publish this AMAZING series)

- what of karn and elina?

- kothi's 'monster'?

- dara and kothi?

- the development of new magical abilities within the hybrids?

- will kal take his place as rightful alpha to the varcolac and their mates?

- where will the new 'pack' settle?

- what of mac and lily's child?

- will their offspring be as different from the hybrids as kothi? or is that due to gard being one of the triumvirate?

- what of liam and reasa?

- we haven't heard of pietro in a long while...

- is loretta really going to get pregnant again?

- what role will the praetorians have now in the lives of the hybrids?

- who is kallum's mate?

wow. looking at this list i realized how much we have left to discover in this series, and how incredibly talented you are to have sucked us in so completely. please give us some closure before scampering off to rewrite/edit the FTI saga for publishing.

Forever an FTI follower,

allygirl08

Ok so all good stories must come to an end for the next great masterpiece to begin, but I hate it when one of your stories ends. I have such an attachment to each character and feel that I will loose the closeness although that has yet to happen. So with much interpretation I know that the happy ending is coming only to bring way to the next great struggle. Back to this happy ending. Mac and Lily and the baby will be fine. Andrei won't kill Mac nor will anyone else. As for Rafe and his position that is yet to be known. But whatever you do I know I will more than happy and agree that you ended this storyline at just the right time.

I was hoping the poison would have an greater effect on Liam.

Nevertheles, I really enjoyed the action of this chapter.

I am sad to hear that this epic story is coming to a close.

But it was one of the best stories I have ever read in such a long time.

~5 stars~

poor Liam what a mate for him to have . i am glad that Lilly is safe can not wait to read the next chapter

Of course, Reasa would be somebody's mate! It gives you more story material! ;)

it was so the right spot to leave us at and to pick up in another story, and i for one can't wait to read it, and definitely can't wait to buy this when you start to publish these stories. Keep up the excellent work hun..

Donna

I know you have only 2 chapters left but please make them juicy.

Liam and a murderer...who knew?

*****

Kothari is my fav! He so sarcastic and as dry witted as me....

Very,very good! Can't wait for the next part,so please don't keep us waiting to long,please!!!

sure if Reasa was going to be Kallum's mate or Liam's mate, but it was a great surprise!! Your stories are both AWESOME and AMAZING.....I loved reading each and every one of them!! Now I can't wait for your future stories starring every one of the Vârcolac kids.....especially Elina's story and, also, Kothi's story!! You are a very talented writer and I am glad to have stumbled upon your masterpieces!!! :)

You've posted yet another brilliant chapter leaving us craving more! Shouldn't Gard,Annie and Caleb be able to read Reasa's mind and get all the info they need for Gard and Ray to use when the go to Europe?

You give me orgasms its so good. No sex needed. I love you. Please hurry and get to Kothi

Maybe Kal and Kothie along with Raine should go to Europe since the poison doesn't effect them, although I can't see Gard wanting to stay behind.LOL

Couldn't they make an antidote out of the Vârcolac blood since they are immune?

I still come in OFTEN to see if you have posted a new ch. Thank you! You never fail to deliver in your stories and you never know what direction they will take. I really hope you get published because I LOVE your stories. You are definitely one of my favourite authors.

wow i rlly loved this chapter, haven't gotten this excited about reading in a while. please continue posting. thank you

This was DEFINITELY one of the BEST submissions in this story! I have been waiting forever for it and it was well worth it! I was jumping up and down the whole time I was reading it! Can't wait for the next submission! Please make it fast and a little longer than this one. Keep up the GREAT work Jaz!!

Well worth the wait Jaz, U Go Girl!!! Didn't see the Liam-Reesa mate connection coming, so that was a great twist. I knew Lily & the baby would survive, so that wasn't a concern of mine. You show your wonderful talent off again in a very good chapter.

Blessed Be

You're using the same words to describe all of your characters. There's no differentiation between Mac, Karn, Kallum or Elina. They're all filled with furious fury while infuriating one another; the expressed emotions come off as repetitive and silly (I swear I've written that exact same paragraph to describe one of your earlier works).

There are literally dozens of on-line resources you can pull from to diversify the vocabulary you use when writing. Type "on-line dictionary" or "on-line Thesaurus" into Google.

You've dropped way to many lawl drama-bombs to close together. Granted, it was a given that the European vampire was someone's mate and that would have to come out eventually but you also Foreshadowed a relationship between Elina and Karn (mate or not is still up in the air but I'm leaning towards mate) as well as making Kallum a new Alpha and turning Kothari into an emo mooning over Dara.

Huge character gap concerning Raine and Gard. Gard is the overly-concerned, overly-protective one while Raine is the teasing, playful one. Totally reversed their rolls. Wasn't Gard just concerned for Raine's safety not 30 seconds before? Lacy seems to have misplaced her personality entirely for the duration of this chapter.

Swearing should not make up the entirety of the vernacular of a being who has walked the planet for 1k + years. They don't have to be cultured or sophisticated but you would think 1k years would increase their vocabulary to the point where "fuck" and "shit" are not their only go-to words.

Increasing dialog between your characters would be a great way to flesh out characterization. When they speak it gives us an insight into their thought process making them more likable and real. This chapter all we got was everyone was scared, then mad, then relieved. The individual characters aren't expressing individualized emotions. I get that they all love each other and they were all scared when Lily fell (which was a dumb ploy to eat up 10 word processing pages) but Liam's mini-drama should have provoked different emotions entirely.

The tear-jerking drama is starting to lose its impact and appeal because it's all you do. There's not enough happy to balance out the sad. You can't expect to provoke a strong, negative emotional response through the entirety of your story. I understand that soap-operas operate on that premise but you're going to end up either alienating or burning out a large portion of your readership that way.

It's getting to the point where I only read your new offerings because of how much time I've invested into reading the rest of it. I'm interested to see what other readers have to say about this point so I'll check back in a couple of days.

I wish you well on your literary journey.

This chapter had me on edge the entire read, little shorter than I'd like but its good to know there are 2 more not far away. I enjoy all your stories and find them a great read! Im impatient for everyones stories to play out .... Cant wait to get into the others, hopefully all in the next story? Thanks again for the fantasic read :)

I'd have to agree with much of what Likes2Read said... In fact I've said many of those things to Jaz in private messages.

The character/personality flipping is a new one, but I agree on that too.

The worst for me was a a few chapters back when the biggest and baddest of the vampires suddenly grew boobs and a womb so he could literally nurse his sick friend back to health. BLECH.

All that said, though, this was still a fun chapter. Maybe I just like the action scenes.

Oh, and that reminds me... Based on what we know of Jaz's vampires, I think Liam would have to weigh many tons for the vampire to be unable to get out from under him. That was kind of ridiculous.

I'm glad this story was updated but it kinda feels like I'm going in circles a bit. I can agree with some of the other comments made, some of its just not making sense. Personalities have changed and it feels like somethings are being repeated.

I do like this story and all the others before it but its slowly starting to loose its appeal. I can't say its the time between the posts that's getting me but more like what's being added to the story.

some ppl have a lot of nerve,putting up those long ass no good comment,....here a little advice.. before you think about killing someone because of their hard work ,stab your SELF first or take the time you took to write that long selfish comment, to write a story of your own.

PS :A job well done jazz

i love all your works wish i could put you in a room to write just for me lol please continue expressing your talent and all those who have a problem with your work should take themselves and go write an read their own stories!!

You are an evil genius of the highest proportions! And that is about the highest compliment I can ever give.

That was an action packed update, even if it was a little shorter than I would have liked. I can't say I'm surprised that Reasa turned out to be Liam's mate. I pretty much saw that one coming, but I still wish she hadn't been. I was kind of hoping Caleb would get to take her head off!!! I'm sure that if anyone can find a way to redeem her though, it will be you.

As for the few naysayers out there, I suggest you tune them out for the most part. You're a wonderful writer, and this is coming from someone who reads alot of books. Besides, you have a lot more fans than you do critics, and anyway you know what they say about opinions....

I'm sorry to hear that this story is ending, but excited to see what will come next. I've become very intrigued by Kothi and just what's going on with him, and I'm just dying for you to tell more of Pietro's story!!!

You never disappoint but wow. This chapter was incredible. I can even forgive you last chapters cliffhanger after this. ;) Thank you.

YASSS

I almost had a heart attack with the cliffhanger you left us with last chapter, but thank you for such a wonderful continuation! An awesome chapter.

I must say another awesome chapter can't wait for the next chapter.

TOTALLY ROCKS....... I love this!

Next chapter please

Have I lost my memory? Who are you referring to when you wrote:

(The worst for me was a a few chapters back when the biggest and baddest of the vampires suddenly grew boobs and a womb so he could literally nurse his sick friend back to health. BLECH.)

I don't remember anyone growing boobs. Did I miss a chapter, or we're you being facetious about Demitri becoming emotional over Pietro?

The wait was very hard, but worth it in the end as always. Thanks again!

Omg this had got to be the most twists and turns you have ever done and I love it I have been reading from the very begining and I feel like I know these people keep it up and thanks for all your hard work

Jaz, to say you're the best is an understatement. Your stories are full of life, and sadly, there are people on this site who don't understand that. I now stand in line if you do get a publisher, I will buy the first copy. Your talent and story telling needs to be shared with the world as a whole, not just us. To say I thing you're a fabulous writer, is also an understatement. One day, far, far away, you will be replaced. I however think that the writer who takes your spot as the greatest of all time, will not hold a candle to the joy that you bring us. I am truly blessed to call you my friend, and please for the helpless on this site, don't forget us. It would be a blessing to have you post a few stories, once you become famous that is.

the wait was overbearing but u came through in the end and as usual u did not disappoint..........u are a blessing

Yeah gotta agree with Kal "Oh Fuck"! THis is freakin getting good lady! Can not wait to see how this will work it's way out for all involved!

Kothi's a badass.

*reads Liam's plea*: "Save her."

...

you didn't...

*gets to next page*

You tricky bastard, you did.

Just no more cliff hangers for awhile PLEASE!!!!

I even lifted the curse, but I am keeping it handy for the next time.

Karn not being able to push away Liam is a problem!

I loved it ;)

But I am anxious to read about the next generation.

Pietro is my favorite character out of the whole bunch.

Thanks for sharing your imagination with us Jaz.

<3

To the person/people over zealously championing Jaz, know that before I wrote this second post, I contacted her asking for permission. She is open to CONSTRUCTIVE criticism and realizes that there are areas of her writing that need work. That said, let the free-flow of ideas begin!

While Jaz is extremely good at invoking an emotional response, and driving plot forward through her narrative ability, her word-choice and characterization are lacking. If you look at all of the vampires 2k + years old, they've all been described as having completely different personalities but their dialog sounds as if it's coming from the same mouth.

Threats and swearing make up an enormous chunk of the vernacular used throughout the series. Threats are not only used in terms of danger to another person or group of people but also in a teasing, playful way. Caleb, Demetri, Rafe, Gard, Mac, Karn, Andrei especially and to a lesser extent Alexi all use threats in their normal thought and speech patterns.

Jaz relies on her narrative voice to force the story forward. Because everything is said from the omni-potent third-person perspective, the characters don't have to speak or interact much if she doesn't want them to. This causes a lack of character building.

I'm usually pretty good about being able to figure out what motivates a character but Mac and Karn are complete blanks. Vampires are generally self-serving, egotistical and prideful. Why would they help protect a few babies? Is there an incentive to doing so outside of the "protect the babies, protect the future" arguement?

Share your thoughts and ideas in a constructive manner; it'll help make her story better than it already is. Something you say may spark a plot idea or back-story for one of her characters. Jaz is currently looking into publishing options, help her make her story as good as it can be before she makes that leap. It could mean the difference between a few hundred sales and a few hundred-thousand sales.

P.S. I'm currently writing a novel-length story myself and the first installment should be posted within the next couple of weeks. Because I do have first-hand experience as to how much work goes into writing a story, I want to help her anyway I can. "You're the greatest author ever Jaz, sign my chest" isn't going to get her a publishing deal. "Loved the emotion but I wish your characters would talk more" might just.

Please hurry!!!!!!!!

I agree, constructive criticism is great, it's like fine-tuning an instrument.

As for the critiques put forth by Likes2ReadErotica, I agree with the motivation perspective. For vampires who are by nature self-serving, I find it odd that they are willing to put forth so much blood, sweat and sacrifice into protecting individuals who are no more than a friend's friend's offspring (e.g., Mac -> Demetri -> Rhianna -> Rafe...etc). What's fuelling their need to protect? Where is their drive coming from?

I'm not sure I completely agree with their vocabulary. The threats and swearing come out naturally in Jaz's writing because in real life, that is how some people talk. There isn't a lot of substance in regular conversation. However, I do agree that building up more casual conversations will add more colour to the story and, as Likes2ReadErotica says, build character. So you don't lose anything by not having it, but you will gain much more by adding different styles of verbal communication and you will showcase yourself as a writer who is able to impersonate various styles of speaking.

I would caution though, to be careful not to lose the substance in your narrative voice. It is wonderful, so that should be maintained, but balanced with dialogue. It might help to start a little at a time, adding splashes of unique dialogue here and there before building it.

On the same note, yes, the characters all do seem to end up with the same type of speech patterns. It could go both ways, though. One could say that after so many years of living, the speech patterns tend to fall into the same rut as a result. However, it would be more interesting if you could throw in a 2K+ vampire who still clings to his/her birth period of speaking. Once again, more colour to the story.

All that aside, I will continue to be the 'You're-the-greatest-author-ever-Jaz-sign-my-chest!' type of fan ;P

When will we read more about her and the parents with their kids. I want her to actually interact with Elle at some point. Have Dayton interact with her. Other than Rayne's few words with Kothi and Kallum's contact with the 'Rents. Lily's too.When does the family dynamic come through? Will we see more interaction at the compound after the attack?

I'm so glad that you're going to be publshed. Congrats. I look forward to one day reading the rest of their stories.

BTW: Can you do an excerpt on Freya's pregnancy? I've wondered how did that go for her. HOw did Mara and Annie react? Did she get ill like the were women. When in labor, did she have problems? Just asking.

Read2Relax and Myth knocked it out of the park. These are the kinds of comments that will enrich her story. Praise is all fine and good but if it isn't laced with something helpful or constructive; it's just words.

When the first chunk of my story is posted (fingers crossed it's soon) I hope that the majority of people who read it take the time to say something thoughtful or insightful. So far I've written over 100 wall-of-text e-mails with my editors talking about plot and exchanging ideas that will enrich my story in addition to all of the time I've put into writing it, editing it, re-writing it, etc.

I have no idea how long Jaz spends writing her story but I'm sure the investment of time is huge. Writing a few words about what you liked and why or what you don't like and why is going to mean a lot more to her than: "YOU'RE THE BEST AUTHOR EVER JAZ!"

Take a couple of minutes to tell Jaz and the rest of us what you think and why. We may actually get an exchange of ideas going that will bare fruit.

P.S. I'm a HUGE fan-boy of JazCullen's work; that's why I want to see her grow and improve. In her bio there's a link to her blog where she writes shorter stories unrelated to the FTI Saga. It's worth a look.

Those of you complaining about the vampires need to protect each other are forgetting something. Most are not strictly vampires any more. Most now have a little were in them and belong to the pack. Only a few do not but they have other ties to the pack.

I love your stories. I think they are hands down the best on Lit. It's totally fine with me that you are leaving somethings unsettled; because that means that there will be more stories to follow. Keep up the amazing work!

Most of the Vampires that have been named or are directly involved with the pack have Werewolf DNA but most of the Vampire nation does not. The poison wouldn't matter nearly as much as it does if it only targeted a select few verses the entire species as a whole.

The Werewolf/Vampire off-spring are half-and-half but the mated vampires aren't nearly as much Were. They have a small taste of the werewolf gene but they do not Shape-shift. They could be just as easily susceptible to the poison as not.

A fabulous story and i look forward to the final 2 chapters and the next installment.

I really do think with a little polishing they would be perfect for publishing.

Well Done.

I'm a big fan of your work and read and rate everything regularly. But it's becoming hard for me to keep track after some many characters. I follow this story for a long time and have already forgot some of the relationships and names. So if it's not too hard, could someone make a characters list with all the names and relations?

Thank you and keep up the good work.

I was expecting a big one after the extended wait. Ah well! I'm looking forward to the last two chapters of this installment and whatever comes next!

I love Jazzcullen's stories and have read all of her series a few times over. For the most part I have liked her characters, but I am not liking Lilana Rose Romanov. She comes off as a spoiled brat who never grew up. I know she has her father's insanity streak in her, but wow, it manifests itself in her in such a childish immature way. I think Elina (from what I've read so far might be my favorite 'shero'.

And the plot of lily almost losing her baby seems like a repeat of her mother loretta almost losing lily. Still I look forward to Jazz's stories and wish her all the success. As far as I'm concerned, she is far more exciting than Christine Feehan. Just a few more tweaks, and she can definitely be a New York Times Best Seller.

For those offering detailed constructive criticism, I know you are doing it because you recognize that Jazz has so much talent and is only a breath away from breaking into success, otherwise I'm sure you wouldn't bother. I admire anyone who writes the way she and others do for our enjoyment. Writing skills are not easy. character/plot/voice/development all have to come together.

I look forward to more writings Jazz keep it up.

I love reading all of your stories, can't wait to see where you go with the ending and even more anticipation for what is to come.

u really are one hell of a storyteller. mixing so many twists and turns to your tale that it is a constantly keeps u hanging on the edge. still this has been a excellent story, and i am waiting for the next episode of your tale. keep up the good work,

regards,

sanjeev

I Must say even though I hate being in suspense from cliff hangers.... The one in this chapter is much nicer than how we were left at the end of the last one... That said, great story. Plz keep postin as often as possible =).

I saw that mateing coming lol please keep it going I love these stories

I cannot believe I nearly frickin' missed this update story! WTF me!!!!!!!!! Brilliant brilliant brilliant! More! More More! Pleeeeease!

No no no no no! >.< This is the LAST chapter! and I've got to wait MONTHS for the next addition... Jazzzz you're breaking my heart :'( What am I supposed to do now?

All that aside though, I LOVED it. All of it. Seriously. >.> poor Liam though. They've got like MAJOR issues to work out over there in their corner :D "but I love you... we're mates" "get away from me, you filthy, sexy abomination" It's so late here and I'm sort of wired wrong atm.. so I'ma stop here and.. yeah :P <3 this.

plz stop keepin us on edge 4 soooooooooooo long its heart wrenching

where is the rest of the story? u seem to stop uploadin. is everything okay?

Now I'm in the long haul waiting boat, just like the rest of you addicted Jazz lovers!

It just keeps getting better and better. Can't wait for more.

Well I've just spent the last week re-reading this series from FTI to HoW and I must say that it was an absolute delight. It was easier to keep track of who mated with who and what children were the result. Can't wait to see how this ends and I hope that you'll tell Kallum's 'tail' (lol) next. If not I'll just have to make up my own. :)

I have had to make a cheat sheet to keep track of all the characters. I will go back and reread all the chapters when the tale is finally done. It is too bad that only us poor porn readers get to see it. It really deserves to be a best seller. I have waited to read this chapter so I do not have to suffer so long. Hurry up editor. ;-)

I'm glad that this story is at an end Jaz! I am so over Liliana & Mac now! Bring on the next tales of Elina & Karn, Kothi & Dara, Liam & Reesa and Kallum too! I wonder where Cassia will be developed in the future as well!

CAN U PLZ HURRY WITH THE NEX CHPT!!!!! PLZ PLZ PLZ THANKS

I've never been drawn into stories the way I have with yours. Never, not like this. Your stories have a combination of everything Love, Sex, Family, Humor (LMAO)etc...Amazing. You cover every aspect, feeling, and scenario from every angle of your stories it's absolutely mind blowing. It shouldn't be too long before you get the recognition that you truly deserve. Lookin' forward to it and to the continuation of this series. ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!! I would definitely spend money to buy your books. Not even "fifty shades of grey" piqued my interest enough to buy or even look into what all the hooplah was about. You got an amazing gift. Only a "dumb jackass" publisher or whoever's involved in bringing about your success wouldn't be able to figure that out. Thank you very much for sharing your GIFT with us. WISH YOU THE BEST, GOOD LUCK! and Please keep it comin...

When is the promised ending here? I've already read all chapters 4 times round while waiting.... Hurry please!!!!

So far I've been lucky enough to be late with finding stories I enjoy so there's no wait for the next chapter to be posted. Now I'm doomed to be like so many of your other fans, living chapter to chapter and checking day after day. I hope everything has been well in your life (the long pause between chapters has made me nervous since you seemed confident the next two would be posted relatively quickly). I eagerly await the next installments and however many more stories you plan on giving us. Thank you for your works. And if you ever put them out for purchase, please let us know so we can gladly support you. Also, reading these stories one after another, I'd like to commend you on improving your writing technique as you've gone. I think I've said my piece now. :)

I thought it said you had the next 2 chapters already written...where are they???

Jaz, it looks as though your fans are going to burn you at the stake soon! ;D

I'll keep checking back. I'm confident the ending will be well worth the wait. Xx

i am eagerly awaiting your next chapter or series, whatever you can give. it just keeps getting better. i thought i love andrei and alexie the most but then came kothi and liam -- wow. your words breathe life to the characters so well - i could picture the anger, the longing, the sadness. i'll never regret spending the last two weekends reading all your work. i'm such a huge fan. i would definitely buy your books - all of them!

yes, the others are right that 50 shades is nothing compared to your series. please continue to weave more magic through your wonderful tales.

So much chaos. A little better and not nearly as angry. I've cried and ranted and nearly had a heart attack with this story. I dunno if I can read the rest. I may die.

You never disappoint!

I just love Kothari!

You redeemed yourself Jaz. But I already knew the Liam was the vamps mate. I feel for him. Oh and don't ever think about taking lily from Mac again. That was so uncalled for. But thank you for a heart stopper.

I hope this is the last we hear of this wild spoiled immature brat. I didn't find one thing about her character to like. She's nothing like her mother Loretta whom I admired. She's all crazy to me. Even Andrea was never this irrational. I kinda wished she'd fallen off the mountain.

Sometimes I just hate you so much... Why would you give sweet Liam a mate like Reasa? I wanted to rip her head off from the very beginning and now you've gone and have mated her to my favourite Hybrid. I am so disappointed in you. :(

Just kidding Jaz. Well, I'm not kidding about not wanting Liam to mate Reasa and me wanting to rip her head off. Just kidding about being disappointed in you and hating you.

I am really excited to see how you have their there relationship going in the future. The same goes for Kothari and Dara. I know Elina and Karn are going to be so much fun to read about.

Keep writing Jaz!

i can't believe how talented you are. I'm supposed to be finishing up an assignment, but your story won't let me go! I love the world building and the characters. Have to say I'm intrigued by Kothi...can't wait for his story :)

She's so needy. Can't she deal with her shit in a mature way. Attention seeking brat!! By the way, where's Freya? She's my favourite female character and absent throughout the whole story..

This was a heart stopper. I don't agree with all the comments about Lily being spoiled though, yes she is but she is also dealing with a lot of issues all at once. Realising you are pregnant on the day your partner lets you know his past cannot be easy and the fact she was so sick so quick, not going to be an easy pregnancy but she was coming to Mac when the cliff crumbled!! On the other hand Reasa and Liam?? The gentle, empathic giant and the murderess that is a cruel twist of fate on one of the kindest and most endearing characters of the Hybrids!! What next I wonder...

Come on, she is dealing with the hand she has been dealt.

Jazz, you have a devious mind and I mean that in a good way. I sort of saw Lilly becoming pregnant but Liam and Theresa being mates was right out of left field..

Love the whole series so far, this is going to keep us guessing for a long time now...

Myassisdragin

:)

i had a suspicion that reasa was going to be a mate to one of them. for a while i thought it was going to be brandon. liam was a surprise.

'His laughter rang throughout the valley'....I love Kothi. How does Dara not know he's her mate? The wolves always know. What voodoo can he do that hides that from her? He's such a tortured soul...so interesting too. What is this 'monster' that wants out? Why haven't his parents ...the super oldest baddest hybrid/vamp on the planet not see he's got some shit wrong....Mr Gard isn't doing well as a father. Jeez! They never looked into why he hasn't shifted since he was a kid? Get answers out of him...he folds to Rayne so why hasn't someone gotten a clue about something being off and fought to figure it out. They bought the he's a loner thing? His mom should've known better and his dad should have used his Guardian shit to watch his kid who he can see when he shadows and helped him. Ugggh. I hope he realizes Dara can help him. Maybe she can keep his 'monster' at bay. Is that just his very 'andrei, alexei and demetri in feral mode, put together' vampire side trying to get out of his body? The description of tearing open skin bleeding....what else is it? Crazy shit, Jaz!

Can definitely say that was the most kick ass intense chapter written in any story I've read in a while. I really loved how you pieced it together. It was well-done!!! It flowed somehow between the two places and the craziness of the minds of everyone joining in bonds went well. I'm really impressed.

Of course I'm happy for Lily and Mac. This is special and I hope he gives them some time alone so they can work on things. But, someone needs to take her over their knee and not for fun! She seriously put everyone at risk by taking their resources and putting it on her. Someone could have died b/c of it and she needs to realize it. If it is her wolf who took her away then work on control. but she can't pull this baby shit of running off and suppressing bonds all the time whenever it gets too hard for her. That's not the wolf suppressing bonds...it's her. I love lily, but she needs to grow up. This stunt could have cost more than her life, her baby's and Kothi's. I don't think she even said thanks to Kothi and Mac didn't either. Jeez.

yeah I think I called the reasa mate thing in an earlier chapter's comment. But, how can they possibly get around letting Caleb's dictate not stand? Too many wolves, vamps and varcs saw it! So, that would get out and it would be a VERY bad precident. I can't wait to see how you do this one. She's a bitch too...a hateful bitch. He's better off hoping for a second-chance mate....really!!!

I love your work, but man is this a turn of events!!! God damn it Liam! I wish he fell for someone else, not that bitch theresea. Oy vey

I've been too caught up in the story to take an unbiased look at most of the constructive criticisms here, however there are some I will comment on:

1) Likestoreaderotica commented about Mac and Karn "Why would they help protect a few babies?". I thought Mac's motivation had been spelled out very well - he was obsessed because of the grief over his daughter's murder. In fact Mac's grief gave Jaz a good reason to keep his character relatively one-dimensional. Now that he's recovered we can expect his character to develop more, if he plays a big enough part in future storytelling. As for Karn, he's a less central character so we haven't had reason to look too closely at his history. All vampires were once human and despite their common character flaws would have sufficient variety to provide Mac with dedicated Praetorians such as Karn.

2) Yes, Liam shouldn't have been too heavy for Karn to move - whaddaya know, Jaz is fallible (probably means she's human!).

3) MythOFreak asks "What's fuelling their need to protect? Where is their drive coming from?". Okay, as I wrote above "All vampires were once human". Yes, vampyrism does seem to give some automatic character traits such as vanity and eroticism, and their status encourages other characteristics, but those who retain the ability to care for and protect a select circle of friends are more likely to survive through mutual support. Add to this the "corrupting" influence of people like Rhianna and all is explained (to me at least).

Let's face it, she is strong physically but is an emotional imbecile and Andrei isn't to blame for it. Whatever his mistakes being overly protective he wasn't alone parenting her. Loretta's accusations towards him were over the top. What was she? A silent partner in their lives for 30 years? Give me a break. They both spoiled her but she is old enough to realize how she should behave. Muting all her bonds is equivalent to sticking her fingers in her ears and chanting "la, la, la, la ,la" because she is so self centered she can't even listen to anyone but herself. We thought Vampires were arrogant but the Varcolac blow them out of the water.

Everytime I read this chapter, my heart breaks all over again, i cry rivers! LOL

This is so very well done!

Whatever happened to "let's keep an attacker alive to get information"? Last attack Freya got scolded for killing all attackers.