All Comments on 'High Interest Loan Ch. 02'

it is such a very wonderful and heart felt story, its like the reader is right there with you need the next chapter asap

Yes!

One of the things I love about your stories is that they are so much more true to real life than the average fare here. Your fluid style of writing is very enjoyable to read also. Fantastic job, I will try to keep my hands idle while anxiously awaiting your next installment (it helps build the anticipation!). My only fear is that 5⭐️ Might start to become mundane for you! HH

Great chapter, the story is moving along nicely. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Tom

Five stars. Can't wait for the next installment.

Worth the wait. Well done. You're one helluva writer,

If there was a higher rating than five you definitely would have it! Can't wait to read the next chapter :-)

Of the two main alternatives for how Ch 1 could be developed (that I mentioned in a comment to that chapter) the author has chosen to develop the second, psychologically more interesting one. Not surprising, I suppose. The apparent inconsistency in Alex's behavior is given a credible development, building on what was already apparent in Ch 1 -- her insecurity and uncertainty about who she is and what she wants.

Ch 2 still leaves some questions open. Sean and Donna's interactions still lurk in the background. That can now go in two different directions, both interesting.

However, where this all might be going is hinted at in perhaps the key sentence in Ch 2, when Beth says ""Well, I think part of your motivation was that you wanted Sean to have sex with Donna because it would be the closest thing to you having sex with her..."

Alex denies this, and Beth comes across as just enough of a pushy, aggressive bitch that she could well be speaking more out of her her own interests than in the interests of Alex. Again, either way and there is an interesting development .. each differing in the degree of conflict that will eventually have to be resolved.

In some ways, this reads like a coming-of-age story about Alex. If so, the author's choice of above options ought to reflect this.

AltheaRose, this may be your best story yet! Five Stars!

Looking forward to Chapter 3, which should be along any day now. Thanks for the honor of proofing and editing for you!

I loved reading this installment. Is it going to be a Netflix series? ;-)

This was so good! I enjoyed every detail and the honesty of it. Every step was meaningful. Great story so far and I pray you enjoy writing part 3. I am sure it will be great. You have led us to it so beautifully!

I am lothe to comment on this story, anything I write would appear trivial and poorly constructed against your elegant and flowing story. ;-)

You have captured the agony of youth trying to work out what to do and not do, what's ok to try and what might back-fire. I wonder if these come from your own experiences of struggle to work life out? Your writing flows off the page, dialog simple and clear. The action and setting descriptions are optimal, not distracting.

The biggest hook for me is the complexity and uncertainty which life presents, summed up in Alex's anxiety and insecurity that Josh might be offended by a request to have sex. At that age, I'd have been flattered to be asked, especially by a first-timer.

I read this one out of sequence, but it was still a delight to find more story to read. Keep up your story telling, you are a natural.

This series highlights the angst and emotions that go with real sex. AltheaRose is fantastic at drawing this out in her characters. While it may not be as sex-filled as most stories we find on Lit, the emotions and self-doubt of her characters more than make up for it. They are real, fully formed people. They understand that sex and love can't really be separated, and that you can't really open up to other people without questioning yourself and your intent. Great next chapter to a fantastic series. Althea, I hope you will write many, many more stories. They really touch me!

Poor Alex. She's conflicted and bewildered about sex--probably not the first woman to feel that way. But AltheaRose, you've presented Alex's angst better than any erotic story I've ever read.

Ten stars wouldn't be enough.

Have enjoyed both chapters so far, smooth flow, building of characters very good. Look forward to future chapters.

One suggestion - like a few other authors who have multiple chapters with a little bit of time between them, they sometimes 'briefly' document/refresh the reader as to 'who' each character is in the story - usually one liners. They do this as a header at the beginning of each 'new' chapter. Helps reader put each person back into their rightful position within the story. Thanks for great story/chapters.

I enjoyed especially the interaction between the couple as they discussed caveats on what seemed such a 'simple' matter (and is commonly handled as such in most stories here with roughly similar themes) was presented as multifaceted and complex. Nice. One crit - there are several conventional expressions, terms (darn it, cliches') that took me out of the the story, though the writing was pro enough so that I got right back in, might be worth editing them out.

Very nice job, bravo (oh yes, and a turn on too)

h