High Interest Loan Ch. 02

"He loves me."

"All right. So he's not going to leave you because Donna is great in bed. Can you see that?"

I nodded, but still felt this unnamed angst.

"So, what else is eating at your confidence?"

"I keep thinking about Donna."

Beth split the last of the champagne between our glasses. She continued to rub my shoulders and give me moral support with her physical closeness. Her exotic scent infused my senses. I've heard the term "fuck buddy", but I never really understood how two friends could also be sexually engaged. As I sat close to Beth, I began to grasp the concept. I really wanted to talk with her and let her help me sort out the tangled mess in my head. At the same time, I had this previously unknown desire to just lay back and let her ravish me. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the wanton side deep into the part of my brain that was good at curtailing sexual fantasy.

"Before when you asked me why I encouraged Donna and Sean to go away, I wasn't entirely honest. I felt I owed Donna."

"Owed her what?"

"She introduced me to my sensual side. Donna broke the lock and opened the door where I kept my passions and desires hidden away. Now, she was hurting and I wanted to help her. I wanted to repay the debt I felt I owed."

"How did Donna open that door, Alex?"

I told her about Donna bringing Josh to our room and letting me explore a man's body in a risk-free way.

"So, she helped you with your first blow job, that's what friends are for," Beth said with a smile. "How about the other parts of sex? Did she help with those?"

***

After my initial experience with Josh, Donna kept pestering me to let her help me have full sex. I was still resisting that idea. I enjoyed being with Josh, but wasn't sure I wanted to give up my virginity. I also kept asking myself why I was holding on to it. Typical for me, wanting it all.

"Keep an open mind," urged Donna. She laughed and added, "And, an open pussy." Even though she was sometimes a little gross for my tastes, I got a kick out her attitude toward sex. I wondered if I could ever feel that way.

One night as we were watching a really dumb rom com, Donna asked if I at least thought about screwing.

"I guess so," was my limp answer.

"Okay, that's a start," she said. "What's the main thing holding you back?"

"God, let me count the ways," I said. Pulling out allusions is the curse of being an English major.

Donna looked at me expectantly.

"Well, I don't want to get pregnant or any yucky disease."

"Yucky! Well, have you ever heard of a condom? It's a thing that goes over a guy's cock and..."

"Smartass, I've heard of them. Do they really work?"

"God, Alex, yes, they do. So, what else is on the list?"

"I just don't want to have sex to be able to say I've had sex. Shouldn't the first time be special?"

"Sure, and Matt Damon is going to ask me out. Alex, time for a reality check. White knights are not forming a line on the border of the campus. Plus, there is not a limit on the number of times you have sex. I guarantee most women do not end up marrying the first guy they fuck. This is the time in your life when sex should be fun. Don't make it more than it is. It's physical pleasure. Later on, sex and love will probably get mixed together. But right now, I'm happy just to have the fun sex part."

"For the sake of argument, how would we do this? Would you ask Josh?"

"He's a nice guy and not bad looking," she said.

"Have you slept with him?"

Donna laughed. "No, I haven't. But, if I did it shouldn't bother you. Is there one of the guys you've seen here that interests you?"

"Not really," I said. "Well, how about someone like Evan?" I recalled seeing the naked Evan in our apartment. It was the size of his penis that stayed with me all that time.

This time Donna howled. "Oh, baby, you do not want to start out with a piece of meat that size. Believe me, you have to work up to that."

"Really, it makes that much of a difference?"

"Alex, you will learn that sex can be really fun. It can also be good and, unfortunately, lousy."

"But, isn't it all the same? A guy sticks it in and then it's over."

Donna kept shaking her head. "Alex, Alex, you have so much to learn. Some guys just have a way to make it feel so much better. For example, Evan has a big cock, but he isn't very good beyond that. I have to do all the work to get off. Sure, his dick fills me up and touches all sorts of places inside. But, I'd take a bunch of other guys over him. You want a guy who can eat you, screw you and cuddle you. That's the winning triple play. Then if you want a home run, find a guy who also listens to you, who doesn't lie to you and who treats you like a partner—an equal partner. But, you gotta start with the physical part, Alex. Get that right and then see if the other pieces are there."

I heard the words, but the meaning escaped me. Could it really be that simple? Just let my mind go and allow my body to take the lead?

"What do you think Josh would say?" I asked Donna. "Would he be like pissed if you asked him about, like going farther with me?"

Donna hugged me. "Alex, if you are asking if Josh would want to fuck you, then I can guarantee that the answer is yes. I'll talk to him tomorrow."

When Donna said that Josh was all in, I thought I'd throw up. If it weren't for her constant support, I'd have backed out. Donna was with me every step of the way, well, until Josh showed up and I took him into my bedroom.

We undressed each other. He was hard and kept staring at my body. "God, Alex, you are like the hottest girl I've ever seen. I can't believe I'm here."

He pulled me to him and we kissed. Thankfully he was tender and let me go at my pace. After falling on the bed and making out for a long time, Josh started kissing his way down my body. I almost shouted when he kissed my nipples. I had never felt anything so good, except for what came next. He left my breasts and made his way until he was hovering over my pussy. I read enough about sex to know that people did oral sex. I had a hard time believing that they could enjoy it. I mean I sorta liked when I had him in my mouth, but would a guy really like all that wetness between a girl's legs? And, what about the taste? What if found me disgusting?

Josh blew on my pussy and my heartbeat increased rapidly. He slid his hands between the top of my thighs and urged me to open them. When I gave him a slight opening, he pushed his hand onto my pussy. This time I couldn't hold back a moan. Before I could even react, his finger moved along my slit. I was so embarrassed because I knew I was wet.

Josh rubbed me for a minute or two and I thought it was the best thing I ever felt. When his finger slipped between my lips I yipped like a puppy. In shock, I pushed my hips up to increase the pleasure I was feeling. My eyes were closed and my mouth open as Josh moved his finger in and out. When he stopped moving I kept thrusting up. I wondered why he stopped when I felt his tongue on my pussy. Oh my god, could anything feel that good? When he made a long slow lick, I came and cried out. I had no time to catch my breath as Josh continued licking. As he moved his tongue toward my clit, I froze. I was not sure I could withstand something so intimate. A person's tongue on my most private area was beyond my comprehension.

Josh's lips closed on my clit and he pushed the tip of his tongue hard against it. I came so hard I thought I would pass out. Josh mercifully backed off as my orgasm began to ebb.

I opened my eyes to see his face over mine. He was nudging my thighs apart and he knelt between them. He pulled a condom from the pocket of his jeans that were tossed on the bedpost. I silently watched him tear it open and roll it on his erection. He smiled and asked if I were ready.

I wanted to scream "No"! Instead, I nodded. He placed his hands alongside my shoulders and moved until his hard tip was rubbing along my lips. He moved up and down. My heart was threatening to burst from my chest.

"Alex, do you think you can help me?"

"Huh?"

"Could you open your pussy a little and guide me in?"

"Uh, okay." I moved my hands and spread my lips. Josh pushed and I felt his tip glide past my fingers into my vagina. I had a man inside me.

"Alex, this may hurt a little." I nodded and wondered what "a little" meant when it came time to destroying my maidenhead.

Josh moved until we both realized he was at a critical point. He drew back and thrust forward. The pain shot through my groin and I yelped. Josh pulled back, but not out.

I caught my breath and he slowly pushed forward. This time there was no sharp pain, but there was discomfort. I never had anything that deep inside me. He made long, slow in-and-out motions. After a few times he was moving more smoothly. My discomfort was fading as faint pleasure was increasing. My legs were lying flat on the bed. I moved them until they bent at my knees, allowing me to push back as Josh pushed forward.

Josh paused with his penis deep inside me and knelt. He took my legs and lifted them. "Put your legs around my thighs, Alex."

I did so and he held my hips. He looked down at me and smiled. "You're so beautiful."

He bent and kissed me. Putting his weight on his elbows he started to screw me. I caught on to the rhythm and used my hips and the leverage from my legs wrapped around him to join in this new action.

He was making noises that got louder as he moved faster. I felt him moving inside me and couldn't really believe that I was having sex. After all these years, I was having sex. It felt good, but not as good as when he was licking my clit.

Josh cried out he was coming and he thrust hard a couple times. His body tensed and I guess he was coming. I was nowhere near another orgasm, but felt good that I made a guy come. In a few seconds, Josh eased his body on top of mine and kissed me. He rolled off and I felt his penis slipping out of me. I looked down to see it soft and still in the condom.

As we lay next to each other, our bodies lightly touching, I wondered if that all there was to sex. I remembered how Donna would scream. There was nothing that Josh did that made me want to scream. Maybe there was something wrong with me.

After a few minutes, Josh turned to me and asked if I wanted to do it again.

I thanked him and said not now. He looked disappointed but didn't say anything.

"Alex, thank you. You are beautiful and I feel so special being your first. I'd love to get together with you again. Just let me know."

We kissed. Josh disposed of the condom. He came back to bed and kissed me tenderly, dressed and left the room. As he left I wanted him to come back and cuddle me. I felt I needed more human contact after giving up my virginity.

I could hear voices and the apartment door closing. Seconds later Donna rushed into the room and jumped on the bed.

"You are such a slut," she yelled.

I laughed and she collapsed on me and pulled me into a huge hug. She settled next to me and pulled me into her arms. I pulled her close as I was satisfying my craving for a cuddle. My head rested on her breast, minimally covered by a cotton shirt.

"So was it what you expected?"

"Honestly, Donna, I didn't know what to expect."

"Did you come?"

"I did when he was, like, you know, using his mouth down there."

"Ooh, you like oral. Good girl. How about when the big event happened?"

"No, I didn't come then."

Donna stroked my hair and I snuggled tighter. "Did it hurt?"

"Yes, at first."

"Well, that part is over. Next time you will enjoy it more."

"Maybe," I said and closed my eyes. I fell asleep in her arms comforted with her soft breast as my pillow.

***

Beth had listened to my tale without saying a word.

"So, I assume it got better. I mean with men."

"Yes, I learned to relax and then to enjoy sex. I had several lovers before Sean. With him everything fell into place. He makes me feel wonderful both sexually and emotionally. And, I sent him off with the Queen of Fucks."

Beth laughed and pulled me to her. "Alex, I wish I could convince you that Sean will come back to you. He'd be a fool not to."

"I, too, wish you could convince me."

"Why do you think he wouldn't want to come back to you?"

Beth had zeroed in on my biggest insecurity. Could I really tell her something so intimate?

"Uh, I don't know."

"Cut the bullshit, Alex. Talk to me. I know you want to."

I took a deep breath and decided to trust her.

"I think I'm a good lover, Beth. I mean Sean seems to enjoy being with me. But, I always feel sorta intimidated by sex. I wonder if I'm doing what he wants. Maybe he'd like me to be more, I don't know, wild or something. The time I had brunch with Donna and she told me how she felt and asked me to go with her on the trip, I got turned on. I went home and told Sean to fuck me. I never use language like that and almost never initiate sex. The thing is he really liked it when we did it rough and hard. Now, he's having Donna, who does not seem to hold back on anything. I feel sorta plain vanilla to her Mint Chocolate Chip."

Beth laughed and quickly reassured me that it was the ice cream comparison she found funny.

"Alex, do you and Sean talk about personal things, feelings?"

"Yes."

"Has he ever said he wished you were somehow different when you're making love?"

"No."

"Then, I think you guys are doing great."

"Maybe he didn't know what he was missing," I said, finally exposing my deepest fear. "Maybe all the women he's slept with were like me. Now, he has someone who is on the edge and will push those boundaries. Maybe he finds he likes that—likes it more than vanilla."

"Would you stop with the vanilla crap," said Beth. "Believe me, Sean would not stay with you if the sex were bad. And, that goes for any man," she paused and looked at me, and added, "or any woman."

"Beth, stop tempting me."

"So you admit you're tempted?"

"God, I am so confused. No, I want Sean. Beth, I just want Sean. That's all."

"We'll see," she said and touched my hand. "So, what do you really want to do about Sean?"

I tried to sort out all the mangled thoughts running through my head. Before I even realized what I was saying. "I want him back."

"Alex, you mean you want him to leave Donna and come home? Are you sure?"

"No, I mean, yes...I mean I don't know."

"Alex, I have an idea. Are you willing to listen?"

By now my mind was a bowl of scattered pieces, I think I would listen to anything. I told Beth to go ahead.

"Do you think you can get some time off this week?"

"I have lots of time coming, but I need to work out some details with my supervisor. Maybe by the end of the week I could get a day or two. Why?"

"Because, we're going to Aruba."

I was not sure I heard her right.

"Aruba?"

"Yep."

"We?"

"Of course, I can't let you go alone. You're in no shape to handle all this by yourself. Besides, I'm sure Daddy will feel better if his jet takes two people instead of just one."

"His jet?"

"Yeah, I just love saying that," Beth laughed. "Plus, he keeps a condo there. So, we'll have a place to stay."

"Uh, couldn't I stay with Sean."

"And, what? Kick poor Donna's ass to the curb?"

"God, you're right. Maybe we shouldn't go."

Beth turned my shoulders so we faced each other. "If you don't, you're going to drive yourself crazy. So, the only thing you have left to decide is what you're going to do once we get there."

Beth called a cab and I went home. The next day I had a discussion with my supervisor. After promising to work my ass off for the next few days, she approved two days at the end of the week. I called Beth and she said we could leave early on Thursday.

I wondered if I should let Sean know I was coming. In the end, I decided I wanted to surprise him. I hoped it would not be the kind of surprise that would backfire on me.

Beth called me on Wednesday while I was at work and asked if I had packed. I told her I was all set.

"Got a really hot bikini?"

Laughing, I told her I did not own any bathing suit that could be considered even warm.

"I'm picking you up at your office and we are going shopping."

"Oh, Beth, you don't have to..."

"Alex, you are not going to take charge of your relationship wearing some boring bathing suit. Girl, you are going down there looking H-O-T. Be outside and I'll cab over."

An hour after work, Beth and I were standing in a small boutique on Newberry Street looking at a rack of scraps of cloth that they were marketing as bikinis. Beth quickly went through them and picked three.

She ushered me back to the changing area and smiled. "Okay, girl, strip."

"You can wait outside."

"You are so mean," she said and kissed my cheek. She exited and pulled the curtain closed.

I undressed and took a moment to look at my naked body. In spite of my stated insecurities to Beth, I knew I had a decent figure. A nice set of apple sized breasts, long waist and longer legs made a nice package. Donna had phenomenal breasts, but mine were pretty damn good. I also liked the look of my mostly ungroomed blond bush. It was about a half-shade darker than my head, but definitely proved I was a real blond.

"How's it coming?" I snapped out of my reverie and shouted I was still getting dressed. I picked up the black one and after shaking my head in wonder, pulled on the bottoms. The top covered most of my breasts.

"Ready," I said. The curtain opened and Beth stepped in. She closed the curtain behind her. Fortunately the room was large enough to accommodate both of us. She looked me over from head to toe. With a finger motion, she indicated I should turn around. I felt her hands at the waist of my suit and she pulled it up.

"Can't have your cute little crack showing," she said and patted my mostly exposed cheeks. Touching my shoulder, she had me turn back to face her.

"Looks good, Alex. Of course, we need to do some serious grooming." Her eyes dropped to the tiny piece of cloth covering my pussy. I looked in the mirror and noticed lots of blond curls escaping. I just cringed and knew that she was right.

Beth picked up the pink and purple suit. Holding it out to me, her eyes seemed to dare me to try it on. I figured what the hell. If she wanted to look, then let her look. Besides, I got a kick out of teasing her for a change. I pulled the string on my top and pulled it off. Beth's smile widened as she looked at my breasts.

I pushed my bottom off and took the same piece from Beth. I pulled it up and noticed it was even smaller than the previous one. My bush was spilling out all over.

"Let me see the back," she said.

"How about I put on my top?"

"You know you don't have to wear one on the beaches."

I shook in amazement my head and turned. I left my top off.

"Honey, there is no way I can pull this one up enough to hide the top of your fabulous fanny. It looks great, though. You have a perfect butt." Her hand lingered on one cheek.

"I should try the top on," I said and moved away. Beth helped me tie the bra in back. I liked the way this suit made my boobs look bigger. There was a little padding and some support built into it.

I stripped and waited for Beth to hand me the last suit. She held it, but just let her eyes run over my body.

"Jesus, you are beautiful, Alex. I really want what's best for you—honest. But, if it for some reason it doesn't work out with Sean, please give me a chance. I promise you it will change your life."

"Thanks for the positive thoughts about Sean," I said with more than a hint of sarcasm. I held my hand out and Beth gave me the green bikini bottom. This one fit better around my butt and had a more substantial panel in front. I would still need to do some grooming, but maybe not as much as with the other suits.