All Comments on 'High School Harem Pt. 06'

I've read all of the stories great so far. Not a fan of him wearing panties though.

Well, I just started the series last night and wrapped it up just now with this chapter. Rather than posting on each individual segment, figured I would just overview here. For the most part you have a good series going. There are some grammatical issues; forgotten words, wrong words(ex: word instead of would), things of that nature. I only have probably 2 complaints, but this is your story so you should tell it how you want to tell it. My first issue would be that he feels he deserves the treatment his family has given him, even though he's not guilty of raping that girl. I strongly disagree with that, while I can understand him being confused due to the emotions he might be feeling with the taboo he is involved in, rapists are the lowest of the low. It is one of the few crimes that I feel should be met with less than humane treatment. He shouldn't feel he deserves harsh treatment for expressing love. The other issue would be the being forced to wear panties. This being relatively minor because again, it is your story.

All of that said, I appreciate you taking the time to put this writing up for us all to read. It was entertaining both erotically and in the non-erotic moments too. Well written for the most part. Thanks.

-J

Hope you don't make us wait that long for the next part

Anxiously waiting for what happens next! Thoroughly enjoyed the evolving storyline. Keep 'em coming!

this getting very hot. please keep going

This is a great story!!! I love the twists!

Another good chapter

I like this story but him wearing his mom's thong was just weird for me

Love the variation in characters. The different physiques, personalities and drives of the women in Alan's life. Trip to school reminds us the original harem isn't far away. Wearing women's underwear doesn't do it for me but it shows us Alan's going to have lots of new experiences. Perhaps two harems, one of sexy schoolgirls the other closer to home? The real question is will Ashley join in the fun?

Please hurry and get the next one in!

Nothing I love more than seeing positive feedback. Thank you all so much. Just so you know, I am writing part 7 right now. I am trying to make more time for writing now, so hopefully I can get it finished sooner and overall decrease the time between each entry, but I do still want to take my time and avoid rushing. I just ask that you remain patient and stay tuned.

keep up the great work. I know some might not like the newer experiences but I personally love it and I'm hoping for even more diversity

Part 7 please

And I'm not referring to the incest angle...

They made a deal when young to never lie to each other... they've known him his whole life... presumably they knew what kind of person be was/is...

And yet they treat him like shit...? They believe he could rape a girl without hearing his side...?

And it isn't a case of his sister saying, "I know you forced a girl to have sex with you, but even though that makes me upset, you're my brother and I'll always love you."

No, it's, "What a piece of shit you are. I can't believe I have the misfortune to be related to a disgusting rapist. You know i hate you, right...?"

And when she found out the truth she managed to come to his room and ask him to accept her apology...? More likely, why wasn't she curled up in a ball on the living room floor uncontrollably sobbing her heart out for what she thought and said about her loving brother...?

If she'd seriously stabbed him by accident some time she'd be pretty upset (more than she was just there)... and yet with the scenario...? The stabbing was on PURPOSE... I'd want to see some serous overwhelming remorse... didn't see it... her sad ain't enough to equate to remorse... same for their mom when she found out...

But I'm still reading...

Where is the High School in this mess?

This claimed to be a HAREM. Then it turned into incest. But page 1 of this chapter became BDSM. This isn't even incest now, it's male emaculation sub/dom FETISH.

Done with this crap.

1*

Absolute garbage. The story contredicts itself at every fucking turn.

He's still in high school. So whether the gals come from his school, a nearby college, his neighbors or his family -- it's his harem while in high school. His high school harem.

So just read it and be envious.

Paul in Oklahoma

Keep Up The Good Work!!

>> Sure, I never raped Maria, and my sister was apologizing for how she treated me due to that misunderstanding, but the fact of the matter is, I deserved that treatment nonetheless. <<

Except he isn't *raping* the four girls at school... and, in fact, they came after him for the sex no matter how much he might be enjoying it...

As for the coach, even if he's enjoying it, he's being blackmailed into it. Not like he went looking for her and he's protecting his friends...

Mom? Ok, he's hot for her, but again, he didn't instigate their sexual relationship, his mom did.

So, if he should take these comments about himself, doesn't it mean all of the other people should too...?

His sister wasn't hating on him for having sex with a girl, she was hating on him for *rape* - forcing sex on a girl. Even now, that isn't who he is.

I wouldn't be so forceful (vehement?) as

Ambivalence is, in the comment just before me, but I do agree that Alan is too hard on himself, continually cracking his heart open and accusing himself. But I do not particularly care for undue introspection in any story. (I guess I like my heroes more self assured, rather than like me.) So I just kinda skipped/skimmed through some of that to get to the dialog or where the plot picked back up -- but then, I'm reading it for the third time.

What I noticed this time is the age implications. A previous chapter (4 or 5?), gave mommy's age as 38. When I read that, I thought, "Humm, he's 18, so she was 20 at his birth and 19 at his conception. So, amid baby and child raising, how did a single mother crowd in the education necessary to becoming a headmistress?" In this chapter we learn that older sis is 22. So at Ashley's birth mom is 16, and 15 at conception (although 16 years, 10 months at birth, would make 16 years, 1 month at conception), making the securing of required education even more difficult for the single mother of two young children. Admittedly not impossible, but poses such an imposing mountain, that it makes one wish for a satisfying elicidation/explanation -- at least, it does me.

This is really kind of a picky point that does not make a significant dent in a masterful series.

Paul in Oklahoma

You’re sick! Also don’t use misleading story tittle, so that people who does not like incest wouldn’t be able to read the first paragraph of the story!

@anonymous its actually for once rightfully in the right category.

If you can read properly, there are 4 chapters of "erotic couplings" and now 3 chapters of "incest/taboo". You could've just stopped reading instead of accusing the author of a misleading title.

As for the author.

it becomes increasingly more difficult to read.

sex scenes are pretty much always the same. Nothing "hot" and new anymore. everyone has its designated sex choreography.

Him being too hard on himself too becomes increasingly more and more annoying. Being accused of raping someone and family treat someone like shit and his guilt over his harem, adultery and fucking his mom are two completely different shoes he doesn't have to wear at all.

Telling this over and over again, beating himself up is annoying and brings nothing really to the story.

I assume, from the vibe of the last chapters, you won't introduce the girls of the high school back and have a "peaceful" ending with them (one of them preferably molly). It'll just disappear into "Winter break is over family made up, he is fucking them all and End of story".

I can't wait for school to start. I was hopein mom found the Vball coaches recordings.

Sincerely

Maddict

MC is a spineless self hating bitch and theres more gross mother son incest than there was sex with the 4 girls. What was this titled again?

This is sounding more and more like a Japanese harem story. I'd the MC Gina Ruth cuck next no way a guy who was villified by his family would lose that anger so fast it was better in school with his girls over his family.

The main character’s moral weaknesses appear to be hereditary as the mother is just as weak at controlling herself. I wish you would triple check your spelling and grammar. There are way too many errors 3* instead of 4* you deserve.

Got caught by sister and didn’t say a word to mom? Nothing about this dude makes any since. The way he does things is too unbelievable. The shock of being caught he would have said Ashley just seen us, without thinking. He goes too much not saying things that he should normally say.

Alan has a problem with his head. He definitely needs to see a therapist. Usually people with high power status play the subordinate, the slave. It's their way of relieving their emotional imbalance.

In a normal relationship, there should be parity. You give something and you get something. In Erin's case, first she ties him up, then he puts her on his knees and ties her hands behind her back with her panties. That's how harmony is achieved. It's exactly the same with Mom. Now he is humiliated and used. The next day you can do the same thing to her. If sex at school happens only in the mother-director mode, you need to find an option in which mom is submissive. The dominance-romance schedule doesn't work. One party will get more. Dominance-romance-subordination is much more even. Dominance is a "-" sign, submission is a "+" sign. The plus cancels out the minus and leaves the romance. Without it, the "+" of romance is nullified and the relationship disappears.

This is my opinion.

Mom is 38 years old, Alan is 18, Ashley is 22. Mom had a baby at 16 and got pregnant at 15. Who's the lusty fool?

My sister says she's always sharing secrets with her brother. Alan's only having problems for seven or eight months. Before that, Ashley's been in college for three or four years. She started dating girls her freshman year. 2-3 years ago. Never said anything about it. That's trust and secrets.

He should stick to the school girls...

Great story , waiting to see the end. AAAAA++++

First you ruin it with him fucking his own mother. Then you turn him into a sissy little bitch. Then you have him for and "forgive" what he calls a "misunderstanding"... Something that was actually a massive betrayal... Jesus, man, if these are your fantasies, please never reproduce!

Too fast to forgive and forget, by far. Still enjoy the story.

First, why didn't dear old Mom inform the family about Alan's rape allegations as soon as she found out that it wasn't true.

Then, all of his conquests just fuck... or suck him until they both got off, then get dressed, usually thank him and then leave. He thinks that he is such a perv when they are just using him.

Fuck, use me... use me!

lie/lay confusions, malapropisms, typos. hot nonetheless...

You totally lost me with her telling him to put on her thong. 0/5

Great story.

sis is gonna want some cock and 3way

Good tell the end.. I hate cliffhangers after wasting time starting the story. Why don't people wait to submit once the story is done?

the worst chapter, you you came very well until now and you threw the story in the trash with this chapter

1of5 in this chapter. A shame

Yeah this chapter went off the rails. If you're going to write a broken character, make then a believable one. He has such bad PTSD over Maria that he punches a computer and forgets the biggest day of his new friends year, but just forgives Mom and sis in seconds?

Mom doesn't call the rest of the family to tell them that Maria confessed? How the sister didn't kick the shit out of her for hiding the fact that her brother isn't a rapist is beyond me. I assume eventually he'll back himself into screwing the aunt and cousins and sister too. But there's nothing there that I care about, because you didn't create a believable protagonist for this part of your story.

I'd have sworn I read these stories before but at this point,I can't imagine having gotten through them.

Here he is saying that there's the Headmistress mom and the elsewhere mom. And yet *prior* to this stuff he was calling her mom when at school and she didn't correct him.

Then there's all this "he deserves the way his family treated him" crap in spite of the fact he isn't assaulting the four girls he's having sex with (totally consensual), he's being blackmailed to fuck the coach (and giving in to protect the girls, not himself), he *didn't* rape Maria, and finally, in spite of his jerking off in his mom's panties, it was his *mom* who started their sexual relationship.

Only thing he's guilty of is being a pussy and acting like he's to blame.

Hey ambivalence I agree with you but I think the reason he does that, other than because of the author, is because he feels guilt for committing incest and thinks he should be punished so uses his past as a justification or something.

Aside from all the other issue Alan has, I think his first and foremost is that he has to find safer places to fuck and suck since his choices have been some of the worst locations possible. I also am surprised he didn’t tell his mother about either the volleyball coach blackmailing him and illegally having cameras in the locker room/showers. The school. could end up in deep shit over something like that. I also would be concerned about Maria and her cutting because if her parents push a little harder or at a time after she had a really bad day, she might just end it and Alan would feel like crap if he heard and knew he could have possibly helped her or even just said something. Her parents sound like real major pieces of shit who care more about there image and community standing instead of caring and loving their daughter.

Once again I don't understand why you are going to introduce drama only to immediately wave it away. Why didn't the mother explain to the daughter FOR MONTHS about Alan not being a rapist? Your only answer is so that they could have a fight in this chapter. Okay, cool, but then right after the fight she apologizes and Alan immediately accepts it. So why bother with the fight? Overall the story isn't bad, but don't introduce unnecessary drama just to wave it away.

Needs to work on his plots a bit better. Mom is 38 ; Alan is 18; Ashley is 22: so she had Alan when she was 20. She had Ashley at 16. How did she manage to finish high school and then college to achieve the qualifications necessary to become a headmisstress?

At @Anon, who thinks it isn't possible to have children at 16 and get to be a headmistress. It's very much doable, but it requires hard work and exploiting every resource you have on hand. Efficiency becomes 24/7. You eat and the same time, you sleep at the same time, you make use of friends, family, babysitters, nurseries, while in school/college, you do your homework while the kid is doing something else. You do the chores in between, usually on a weekend when you're (aside from the kids) free.

In my country a woman has become deputy leader of the largest opposition party and about to get into government after having kids at 16. Women, single parents, become doctors. Women can be absolutely amazing. Wendy Davis is a Senator in the US Government, Iyanla Vanzant prominent lawyer had a kid before 18 due to rape.

There are plenty of people who are somehow of the opinion that a parent has to drop out, this is not the case and its more a failure of society than it is on the parent, because most schools/colleges can and should bend over backwards to support a person's education. They should set up a creche at the very least.

Очень разочарован героем! А конкретно тем, как легко он простил сестру. Его предал один из ближайших родственников, а он всё забыл за одно Извини... Или он мазохист?

Был такой задел с эмоциями и даже трагедии в семье, а автор все просто превратил в пустяк, который даже внимания не стоит.

So much for backing off the incest play. Another well thought out and written chapter. I look forward to reading the next. I appreciate your and your Muse's imagination and abilities to bring it to your story. Thank you for sharing your vision and talents.