by 4103177e
Great storyline. But, .....really? No way Brian would have turned down his sisters offer the very 1st time.
OMG .......all this writting and introduced TO MANY other people into the story after he decides to fuck his sister. Get rid of Charlie and Lilly. Let him finally be the aggressive one!
This was such an awesome story fucking great. I think it was the perfect length and Lilly rly turned me on. Threesome sequel????
Ignore all these people nit picking every little thing. You're story was perfect by far one of the best written stories I've read on this site.
Hands down the best story I have read on here. I really hope there's going to be a sequel.
Besides Kara and Lilly how many other girls at that school are in that prostitution ring? And do they meet together to talk about their pricing, share clients, and maybe have a lesbian orgy? And do they all want to fuck Brian?
a little long for me, but wroth every page. what about a second chapter. I want to fuck Kara & Lily
Good story, but please don't use "common" when you mean "come on." I can understand trying to make it casual speaking, but it didn't translate well at all.
Yes, such a great story. Good details and action, a lot of it was great. Finally, Brian agrees to screw his sister and they become fuck buddies etc. Yes, we sure do need another chapter, so They can do all the things she has been doing with other guys and Lilly has been doing with him. Of course, both girls have to do him and see how the 3 of them like sharing his big cock ?? Cannot wait for more, please ! Thank you.
i agree with sequel please anon. go ways to go. expecially since all lilly and kara's friends want a crack at him too. differently need a long sequel like this chapter.
I really enjoyed this story and it has a long way to go. I would love to see a threesome between Kara Liiy & him, but I would also love to see his girlfriend and sister pimping him out to their friends who would love to have some of his cock.I talso think there should be a three way love affair with each of them that lasts and Lily and him become sweethearts and plan to get married after college.
Most definately 5 stars but wish I could give it 10
It's not that it's too long; it's just monotonous! I realize ya gotta have a lotta sex in these stories, but for cryin' out loud! Those scenes don't all have to be the same! The "plot" was just a thin excuse for an awful lot of fucking. This is erotic, all right, but it's not literature! (Which is what "literotica" is supposed to mean, no??) And haven't these kids ever heard of STDs? I know I certainly have no desire to fuck somebody who's fucked that many other guys. Get 'er tested!
I feel like I want to see so much more. What a great story.
You should have Lilly get double teamed why he is watching her on video and fucking his sister. They later have the three of them have a three way.
Story was a little long by itself and might have worked better in 3 chapters, but great writing. It took a couple of good turns. I kind of expected Kara to use Lilly in some way to get to Brian, either by teasing him with some girl on girl action or forcing a threesome. Based on the dressing room tease, I expected the last parking lot rendezvous to be Kara and Lilly together for Brian to watch. Really looking forward to future adventures.
I enjoy that it wasn't rushed. Too many stories on here where it feels forced. I enjoy reading the characters needs develop and having a believable scenario. It's always fun to think that in these situations it could go either really good or bad depending on the other persons feelings.
Please tell me your working on more to this story. Absolute one of the best stories I've read in a long time.
I enjoy that it wasn't rushed, the grammer was outstanding. It was a great page turner really wish you make another story.
By the time I'd finished I'd become quite invested in these characters, something few works on Literotica (or any stories) manage to achieve. You've got something here, friend, and I hope you will keep it going.
Great first story but it calls for more, brother pimp?
I'm with Sighwriter, totally absorbed in the characters, quarky as they are, hehe! Thanks for the great story, now we just need a small encore to fun! Sisters ass, girlfriends ass, then all three together!
I really liked it that his sister basically landed him a girlfriend, I really liked her character! (The gf) it was also nice to basically see a zero conflict story, always love and enjoy those when I find a good one! Thanks for writing!!
Main character is too passive, unassertive to be relatable for me. Way too reactionary and unassertive, not at all proactive for his situation. Simply a luddite, would.ve liked to see a more aggressive, mentally sharp protagonist, but that simply would mean a totally different story haha. Gave it a 2, those being a reward for novelty of the first two pages.
Q
... _please_ get an editor, or proof-read more carefully. There are lots of minor errors ("Common" for "c'mon" or "come on", missing or extra apostrophes, etc.), which kept throwing me out of this story. Which is a shame, because it's smoking hot.
Great story, yes I did pick up on the spelling but it did not subtract form the story overall. I was happy to say that I did not expect the ending, too many stories I find are very predictable. Yours was not; to my mind. I was hoping for the three way!
I have to got with the consensus of opinion that you should continue this story line. I'm sure that the comments here will provide you with enough material for you to flesh out your ideas. The detractors here, whilst I acknowledge their opinions I would have to say are wrong. Pay them no heed.
I enjoyed your story even though it was not the usual that I tend to read.
Needs a sequel
3sums
Anal
Nude in public
Plenty of possibilities
LOVE this story ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
This is great story and deserves to be expanded as far and as long as you can make the characters last.
I loved the story. Good pacing. A little monotonous in the sex part. And English not being my first language, I do think that “drag” is a regular verb (drag dragged dragged) not drug in the past/past participle. Other than that, good one. Waiting for the sequel
I did love the story, but I have to ask why were Kara and Lilly both prostituting (even if is "selective" whoring)? For two people that didn't have any apparent money or ego problems, it seems weird to be charging (and screwing people they might not normally screw) "just because." This is especially true for Lilly.
I could be overthinking this, but it would make people more, er, comfortable with the story background.
Loved it...only thing that would've made it better is if he had gotten to have his sister and Lilly at once
Really good story, well written. I'm guessing you got bored towards the end & rushed the ending....pity.
I thought it was a great story and gave it 5 stars. Many worse stories out there.
However, there were a few holes in the story that distracted me. They are 11 months apart in age but both seniors in high school seems to be a stretch.
Lilly mentioned that the sister told her friends not to date him, that sounded like an existing long term rule, Lilly thought because Kara wanted him, but until the whole camera thing they had a typical sibling relationship.
Just a few loose ends that seemed to be left out there or at least I felt could have used some clarification.
Although I know the sound you meant by "emmmm", to me that's just short for Emily. "Mmmmmm"would be better.
Good story, enjoyed it.
I might be an old fart now, but I sure remper being 20 years old & I would cum after just a few strokes the first time. My recovery was about wm seconds though & the second time lasted much longer.
These stories seem to have forgotten what being 20 was like.
A fun read though. 4 stars
Bill
This was a great story! I love the build up and I’m glad the siblings could enjoy and still have outside “love” in their lives! I’m
It seems plenty of people really enjoyed your work, which is good. For me personally when the "high school HOOKER" attempted to take the moral high ground it was a lot to justify. On top of that the teen then didn't care if her brother watched; that is definitely more fantasy than fiction. I just don't see that happening.
It’s been mentioned before but your grammar and spelling are atrocious. I’m not a pedantic English teacher but one should follow the basic rules when writing for public consumption. Incorrect capitalization, missing apostrophes and misspellings all detracted from the final product. And, to top it all off, the last pages were nothing more than boring descriptions of juvenile rutting described by a passive jerk. Even you seemed to get bored and fairly abruptly ended things. A good editor/proofreader and half the length would have bumped this story into the top twenty.
Great story. Kara is a hottie, lily sounds adorable. Theyve both going to have sex. Why not get paid ? Hope kara ends up being exclusive with her bro, im sure Lily would understand.
One of the best stories on here. Sister is sex on legs, gets pissed at her brother, then realises she likes him watching and wants to fuck him.
Kara has a sexy friend sets the brother up with her. Lucky dude gets his cake and eats it too. Not too mention. Kara knows she can fuck her bro as little or as much as she wants and lily wont care. Love it.