All Comments on 'His Fantasy Girl'

I understand why you'd create a new identity to submit this story. I'd be embarrassed to submit this under my original Literotica name. I felt as if I was reading a story written by one of my high school students.

The writing was amateurish, at best.

You need to make new paragraphs whenever there is a new speaker reciting dialogue, creative writing 101.

Yet, there was some redeeming qualities about the piece. It did hold my interest and it was creative in story. Only, unless you have a lot of friends voting up this story, you need to write a better story than this to win this contest.

I enjoyed this story although I have read betters ones. Please ignore the anonymous poster below, who also seems to be hiding behind a new identity.

I don't normally comment, but as to the adverse point, I just want to let you know that I read the story without once stopping due to a grammar or similar mistake. So congrats on that. Also congrats on the story itself. I thought it was well done and made a point. A nice read, as they say.

Writing 101 guymust not have finished the course..

If you are going to knock what someone writes have the balls to sign your name!! P.S. VERY nice story!!!!!!

Beautiful and loving as any story in here.!! I am not a writer nor am I an expert on these kind of writings - but I know what I like to enjoy to read and really don't care about the errors as I throughly enjoyed this story and only wish there were more like it.! To the first person(if you can call him that) he couldn't write a story for a comic book and his one goal in life is to down all other writers and there work and if nothing else we should pray for him as he is a complete axxhxle and needs professional help.!! The story was "great" and was very happy to give you a '5' and look for more in the future.! Thanks. JAG

I loved it! It wasn't very explicit, but the sex scenes were erotic, and it told a great story with romance, passion, and love. I want to get pictures done like that!

Even though I'm a person who can't devour enough stories, I'd had to pause after this story to let it sink in.

And it even inspired me to leave my first ever comment to share that with others.

Breathtakingly beautiful, all the luck in the contest.

Interesting story. Very well written. I continually wondered what was going to happen next. I was not disappointed. I really liked it.

Les B 816