All Comments on 'His Whore'

The technicality of your writing is good. I didn't care for the content. It reads far too much like you've watched an excess of James Deen type rough porn and think that's how things always are between people. Rough can have its place but balance is needed. Your final paragraph seemed a swat at balance, but it was insufficient. There needed to be some indication early on of more beyond the rough. Her musings about his alleged pretend anger were helpful, but again not enough to balance. You made them very young and with several years at this (writing what you know? Skirting Lit age restrictions? ) The way they interact sexually and the volume of sharing; it all makes me uncomfortable, not aroused.

Totally agree with anonymous. The age thing makes it uncomfortable.