All Comments on 'Holiday Romance'

You know there is more to this story - so keep going, see where you can take the reader with this

and that is true it was just a bit of fun between 2 girls, and what the husband to be does not know it will not hurt him (maybe)

What he doesn't know won't hurt him. Really? That's such a dimwitted notion I can't believe that's the spin you've put on this story. It's hard to like a character who's such an ignorant buffoon. There's no intelligence or depth to your protagonist. She's selfish & petty, vain & deceitful.

Properly developing your characters is fundamental to storytelling. If you want to captivate a reader, you need to give them a reason to stick with the story, so character & plot are the most basic devices you've got as a writer. At the end i just kinda shruggrd my shoulders & moved on to another story. This really wasn't that good, but you've got talent. So, keep writing, work on bettering your skills.

"I know I did technically chest on Peter but it was my honeymoon and I knew I would never do anything like that again so what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him."

The obvious lack of care given to that sentence is telling.

Hard to like a story when the main character is a liar and so selfish and shallow about the depth of her lies. For crying out loud, this was her effing honeymoon and she's cheating on her husband. I'm a lesbian so have no investment in hetero fidelity, but the depth of this deceit is contemptible. If the story had better phrasing and more realisticrealistic dialogue it might have saved this story, but it is your carelessness as a writer that destroyed this story. Your last paragraph showed how little regard you have for crafting cohetent fiction.

In the last paragraph after her fling she states that technically she cheated on Peter "but it was my honeymoon and I knew I would never do anything like that again, so what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him"

How in the hell can she say she was on her honeymoon when she was getting married in less that four weeks. Are not honeymoons taken after the wedding?

It's a sex story on a sex story site. Why come here and moralize about lying???

The story was fun and sexy, and most guys would find it a turn on for their wives to have sex with a beautiful woman.

If you don't like stuff like that, go read a religious site.

I enjoyed this story, the sex was well written, she messed it up on the last paragraph - possibly enjoyed writing it too much. Pretty sure she meant hen do, not honeymoon, as for some reason there seems to be some vague acceptance that its ok to do things on your hen do nad it 'doesn't count' - similar to the stripper at a stag do. As the other anon said - this is a sex story site - the second largest category on this site is incest! I liked the fact it was 1 page long, some stories may be accurate and well written, but if theyre 10 pages long I wont be in the mood - I haven't got all day!

I enjoyed this story. I don't care about morals and lying or cheating in an erotic story. This is a porn site with explicit sexual acts written. So what? If you wants morals go to a religious site like one commenter suggested.

Writing is pretty bland and simple... But this little scene is very sexy.