All Comments on 'Homelands Pt. 01 Ch. 01'

Please write more of this type of story. Thanks!

Thanks for the feedback, anon.

Don't worry, there is much more yet to come!

i have to say your creation of the "veil" was a inspired literary device it allows characters to be both the virgin and the whore depending on whether it is affecting them or not. granted this is the first chapter and it might be the last we hear of it but it was a good idea and has plot potential.

looks like you wrote a long one such effort should always be recognized

Thanks, anon. That was part of what I was going for.

Not sure how to rate this start of the story as it was just an informational reading .

It was well stated in your preface and I thank you for that . But I will keep reading . Thanks

TX Cracker

P.S. I have not rated it but will come back in the future .

It seems to me that you're going for a kind of Corwin-esque (Chronicles of Amber) start to this with the main protagonist, and I get that, but his lack of action really should have had a better explanation. How to explain what I'm feeling? Hmm... when he was alone with his mother, why didn't he come out and ask, "Mom, what the hell is going on?! First I lose my memory for a week, then I'm hallucinating that everyone has different bodies, then I overhear everyone talking about incest!" Or at least he should have said that to someone and kinda freaked out. Yet he seems to take it all in stride, keeping everything internalized until the very end of the chapter.

You're giving him a Corwin-like attitude (when Corwin had amnesia), without any setup or subtext as to WHY he's taking it all in stride rather than freaking out, I guess is what I'm trying to say. At any rate, love the story! Thanks for taking the time and effort to write, edit, and share it!

Thanks for the comment, anon. I was heavily influenced by Zelazny's Amber, as you correctly note, and your point is well taken. For what it's worth, I tried to address this and other shortcomings in Autumn Pt 01, which is basically a retelling of Homelands Pt 01. (I'm in the process of rewriting the whole series, though it's going to take a while to finish. I plan to post Autumn Pt 02 later this year.)

First read this on lush and still love it to this day. Keep it up.

Thanks, CountryMama. Good to reconnect.

I've been working on a new version for some time now but keep hitting snags. When I'm finally ready to share, I'll be posting under a new account (Stillnunyer) to avoid cluttering up this one further.

As a romantic, I like indepth character development. I like to know the psychological outlook of the characters. I need to know the emotional, physical, and sensual relationships between characters. Most importantly, the incestous coupling must be mutually consensual, to wit: no positional powerplay; no threat of emotional abandonment; no threat of emotional or physical abuse; must be of free will; and freely received.