All Comments on 'Honest Perversion'

The story centers around a small, adult woman, yet you never really describe her, other than she looks like a little girl. You've given your readers next to nothing to visualize her in their minds. You've given us no reason to care for her or what she's been through. Even for a short story, it lacks depth.

This site is called "Literotica" for a reason. This story has no erotic elements.

It's a beginning and end with no middle. It's basically two conversations with no action.

Thanks for your feedback, you're the first after I submitted to this site. :-)

To address your issues, about the lack of description, I try not to be too specific to let every reader use their imagination and create the character in their mind according to their own preference. It would be easy for me to describe her as a little blonde, her perky breasts adorned with reddish nipples and her slim limbs clutching onto the firm, muscular frame of the man, or let her be dark tanned with hazel coloured big eyes, matching her long, almost black hair, breasts as bread buns with light nipples and loving the slight beer belly of her new lover, but as you said yourself in your biography, not many would like the story with specific ladies in mind.

I try to give the reader the flexibility to form their own ideal girl in mind without restrictions.

About the lack of depth and what she's been through, I tried to sum it up as short as I could in the scene I had in mind by the couple of remarks made by the characters.

I could have given it more depth, but then the story would have been much longer when I wanted to convey a quick romantic moment. (I do feel like one day writing a longer story around this idea, so if more like to read that, I will move it up my list of things-to-do)

You're right in it having no middle/erotica. I wasn't sure about the category, but felt it was more in place at romantic than non-erotic. During the writing I was more enticed by the idea of having a vulnerable young woman in my arms than a plain willing girl. Sometimes just the thought of future intimacies with the one you love, and who loves you back, is more exciting than the act itself (I hope any women will back me up here o.O; )

To not have them engage in passionate sex/action was a deliberate choice on my part.

I see you've written two stories as well, one which has a nice score I hope to get with mine, so I hope you'll write more for your own, and others enjoyment. :-)

Can we get a continuation? Like he hears her get home and pick it up from there? This is just too good to drop.

Who knows?

I like this couple because of their interaction and might just do something with a friend who's suspicious of him and wants to protect her.

Heck, I might even get her to fall for the guy too and make things worse. :-)

I really never gave it a lot of thought, I mean we met, we courted, we married, our daughter is 5 feet and 1/2 inch and is a perfect pixie, her mother is 5 feet 2 1/2 inches, and I'm 6'6" and no I really never gave it a lot of thought !!!

Well, some girls never think about it, and some feel really bothered by it, but I hope those that thought about it can also use it to have a little naughty fun with their partners. :-)

I really really love this! Though short. I love the simple emotions going through the story. It's simple, it's short and sweet and Ahhhhhhh! I love it. I love how he makes her love her own self by loving her. ... You get it. But yeah. Iz good!

Thanks!

The whole thing worked for me because it was short and simple. I don't know if it would be better if I add anything to it but I might still do a polishing rewrite on it.

Very Romantique und Sweet!

11/10!!!!!