All Comments on 'Honey Escape'

I think AFF would be a better place for your BAP/Kpop/Daehyun fanfic. I think it'd be really popular there - not many people know who Daehyun is here...

Good concept, and you show promise--but (if I can give some constructive criticism): your syntax can sometimes lead in the direction of being repetitive and juvenile and it makes your story lag. Some of your references and comparisons also leaned more towards the side of 'silly' than 'sensual' too--which made them more funny than a descriptive tool.

You also have to be mindful of not being (unintentionally) offensive with some of your Asian cultural references, too. Referring to an Asian man's penis as a 'dragon' can be doable, but only under the most respectful delivery.

But, your story did have good bones, and I think if you take a few writing classes to work on the basics you'll be unstoppable. Keep writing.

Great job, I really enjoyed this story. I hope you make more stories, you did put it down on the sex scene ^wink^

Please make more soon :D

... with Anon 6/9/14, you show good promise as a writer, but to be an erotic writer you must be more descriptive of their intimacy. Saying he "... tasted her pussy once more, and she had a massive orgasm..." That was kind of weak, I do like your idea, but it and some other parts seemed rushed. To get a better idea, check out "the rancher's calloused heart" ch. 9. Very descriptive writer. I say this only because it felt like you spent more time with the dialogue with Lilianna and her friend than with Lilianna and Dae-Hyun. If there is to be a chapter 2, get an editor. I know you're probably like "wtf," trust me I am speaking from experience. Just keep in mind, it must have been good, I'm happily waiting and anticipating ch. 3.

Lol same here! Oh sweet lord they're so beautiful! Those are my fav bands above lol and i have my girl bands too! Hehe love it!

I'm loving me some Asian men right now. Specifically Korean men. So beautiful in general.

I agree with OKAY. It had the makings of something innocent and similar to a teen obsession. Things went way too fast and did not show progression of the lead character. I was under the impression she was a virgin at first. Then all of a sudden she's sexually uninhibited. This was not meant to be mean, but constructive.

I saw that you really like K-pop. If you want, you could come see my new K-pop story I just published. I think you'll really enjoy it! :)