by joshy029
good story, but you should get an editor and maybe file under "Sci-Fi and Fantasy" also, seemed a bit rushed. take your time. great premise.
dont listen to psychoticflyingmonkey down there you wrote an awesome story, u dont need an editor because i dont like when people have like a 4 page story, i never read them,
and i never look at sci-fi fantasy section so good thing u didnt do that either haha
good job tho look forward to reading the next one
You should post this at Futanari Palace Forums! They'll really like it!
The high readership and high voter ratings show that you have achieved a degree of success most stories do not get. It is hard to argue with success.
I think you picked themes and hot button words that appeal to many of the readers for this site. Congratulations.
There were quite a few typos, which I found distracting but obviously had little to no impact on the popularity of your story. You could probably catch most of them with a careful reread. A spell checker would miss most of them, but a grammar checker may catch them. You can also ask for a volunteer editor to review your story although that takes more time before publication.
The basic premise is absurd, but I was willing to ignore the basic premise or unrealistically small dimensions as they were needed to explore the remaining themes. I also thought it a bit of a stretch that a woman grew male horse genetalia rather than have a male exchange his equipment for something larger but with recognizable features.
The remaining themes are common male fantasies, as most women would not be interested in trying to fit such size into any of their orifices.
Please write the next part. Your themes have strong erotic fantasy potential.
Guys and Girls, i want to thank you all now for your feedback. It's all been nice or constructive, and even private feedback was all excellent.
I haven't started on Chapter 2 yet, but i will soon. I do however want to clear a few things up. I've read about a lot of spelling mistakes, which only exist if you're not reading it in British English. For instance "armor" becomes "armour", though I do admit that there is the occasional grammatical mistake. A lot of this was written at night when i was less busy.
I'll start on Chapter 2 soon, but it might take a few months before i get it up because i do work and want to socialise with friends and family as well. But I promise i'll get it written.
Thanks again, Joshy029
left me very drained!! it was most excellent in quality and description. im VERY excited about the next chapter!!!
...for as long as you want. I just want to know where to find her. ;)
The first chappy was great. It was long and filled with detail. But then the second one just killed it. It was so short with little detail. I was happy but now I'm sad. =[
I very much enjoyed your story. I would like to see more character development for Amy and Lucy, particularly as they are establishing a new aspect of their relationship. If you're not already, please drop by Futanari Palace (http://www.futanaripalace.com); I think your work will be greatly appreciated there.
You sure this doesn't belong in Science fiction/weirdness????
A totally implausible story but filled with unimaginable thoughts and hopes. Amy has lots and lots of fun, experiences, and amazing knowledge about hidden needs in her future. I just hope that she truly takes advantage. What woman wouldn't love to have a lover like her. Kissing and sucking nipples while being drilled deeply.
Go all the way with this. the number of chapters is almost limitless....
Very HOT but so way out that it belongs in Sci Fi or Magic or the Biggest Whopper or better yet, Comedy.....
It's hard to "stay hard" when you burst out in fits of laughter.....
I'm sure it appeals to a lot of people but I already know that the whole world is crazy except you and me and after this comedy, I ain't at all sure about you.....
Nevertheless, I gave you 5 stars..... for the plot, well actually half of the plot...
Did you figure out yet that I prefer something that could possibly happen? It can be a little bit far fetched but still possible.... like 8 to 10 inches and big and fat.....
This was a good blend of fiction and erotica. I usually don't read serials but I am looking forward to reading this one.
I haven't read many transgender stories before, but this one was fantastic. I am so glad it is a series so I have more to read. 5 stars!
i liked it, and unlike most of the stories on here it didnt take an hour to get to the point! i cant wait for the next chapter
Now Amy will have to live with that huge thing dangling between her legs. She won't be able to find a pair of knickers that will fit her. How will she ever wear a bikini? Who knows what kind of other problems she will encounter?
Great story with a great plot. I'm sure later chapters are even more entertaining.
A) not to be taken at all seriously, or B) well, should NOT be taken seriously... But, even when I'm willing to ignore any possibility for that to happen (which, for the sake of a story, I am), there are somethings I can't ignore...
You at no point said that this was some sort of reality where EVERYTHING is different... And on that note, I have a few comments...
One, you've this obviously cutting edge lab... And they're just showing college students around their facilities...Ok, so it worked for Spider-Man so I guess I should accept that...
They leave something THEY deem as important and expensive just "sitting around"... Ok, now while individuals do stupid things, Michaels should have immediately reamed someone a good one for NOT putting it away somewhere safe... Some things he DID say: "hard to replace"; "secret formula"; "expensive"; "we're extremely careful"...? Didn't he forget to mention, "Oh, and and we like to leave it lay around for college students to find, pick up, and mess with"...?
Not to just you, but I really HATE when people give these measurements for an extreme cock... Without actually understanding what that means...
"Eighteen inches long"...? On an average-sized man, that's like from the inside of his elbow to the TIPS of his extended fingers... On an average girl, that would allow you to reach in and pull out her freaking heart...
"Three inches thick at its hardest"... Take a ruler and a sheet of paper, measure out 9.5 inches... Form it into a tube... That's what you've described... Now picture that EASILY going into your average woman... Oh sure, your average woman can EXPAND to that (can we say babies?) but they don't seem to ENJOY it... And even if we accept the ability of putting that in some woman's vagina... Do you actually know ANYONE who can open their mouth that far...?
Oh, and as regards "horse cocks", their tips are way bigger than the 40% or so immediately past it though maybe similar in size to the part closest to the horse... So if you mean the size to refer to where its largest, might not even get the head in (accept for women who are also "freaks")...
Again, I know I'm talking reality in a fantasy story, but I'm sure it's understood by most that when "horse-sized" is implied as special, normal guys are likely implied as normal... So why wouldn't normal women be normal too...?
Anyway... While leaving my rationality at the door, interesting story...
Great story fun but awkward wank but one question how isn't her friend dead as dog shit after taking that thing to the hilt not gonna question but p.s anal and public would be great editions
Agree with Ambiv's points ... then we have this - a common misunderstanding about Girly Plumbing! After entering thru the Vulva, we get to the muscular tube called the Vagina. This is angled toward the BACK and up. Near the end, it closes, and there is a narrow opening in the TOP wall, about half an inch before the vagina end. That opening is the Cervix, which is a very short and somewhat narrower barrel leading to the Uterus (Fetus House!). The cervix maintains a (mostly mucus) plug much of the time, that sperm have to struggle so a fraction get through for Ovum Hunting! Back to the main point ... the uterus angles up and toward the TUMMY! About a 90 degree turn. How the hell can a hard pecker take a right-angle turn? It can't. It actually sometimes happens when, during a vigorous fuck, the pecker comes out and is slammed back into the taint (perineum), breaking and straining pecker-innards. Emergency room time and likely permanent damage.
Dicks do NOT go through the cervix to tantalize the uterus. What can happen, for guys of lengthy endowment, the end of the vagina (which has a lot of nerve endings) is somewhat flexible and extensible. Keeping some steady, LIGHT pressure on the vagina terminus, it will gradually extend without a great deal of pain to Vagina-Owner! BUT, no way it'll extend to 18 inches!
By the way, I did enjoy the misclassified Sci-Fi story, although the horse-cock did grow faster than bamboo!
I'm really, really sorry but the two other comments with quibbles are just the tip of the iceberg. Honestly, did you even do a modicum of research into how genetic recombinant re-writing might ever be possible? First off, no lab would have not have researched what their method of transmission would be. Cloning does not include the type of infection platforms necessary to rewrite existing DNA. Cloning is accomplished with stem cells carefully nurtured from a host organism, then implanted in a recipient womb. Dolly the sheep was not "grown in a lab", she was grown in a uterus similar to invitro fertilization.
In order to change an existing DNA strand, the lab in question would have to develop an auto-immune virus to carry the genetic material into the body, where it would insert itself into cells and begin its damage to the genetic structure. The likely result would be similar to cancer, only with an effect other than death. The process would take weeks, if not months to accomplish. Doing so overnight would take so much of the body's available anabolic potential that the person afflicted would probably suffer severe catabolic reactions in other locations (muscle gets broken down into fuel to be used for the "growth" project). More to the point, the lab would have carefully crafted the method of transmission because accidents like the one Amy suffered could release a global pandemic if biologic research facilities were as lazy as this one seems to be.
Anyway, my suggestion would be to avoid any more forays into "science" during the story because it's obvious you have no clue what lab procedures or gene research entail.
Seriously man, it's an erotic fanfic, who fucking cares about whether the science is plausible in real life or not?
I thought the story was on the wild side. It started good then it got a little far out. To the comments about realism, think hentai. Sure a young woman can't get 18 thick inches inside her, but I bet many try. Just the feeling of being impaled is enough to send orgasms throughout the body. Even though the topic got a bit wild, I was extremely excited reading it to the end. Very good detail and the fantasy part at the end, was very erotic. Picturing a young woman with a horse cock and balls was hot. Then her masturbating and spitting big loads on the mirror followed by her girlfriend sucking the fucking it brought me over the top. Very wild but well executed. It might have added to the story if you would have described the girlfriend enjoyment and enthusiasm of having sex with a horse cock a bit more. But if the idea was to keep the reader interested and reading more while keeping a hand free for …, you successfully did your job. Please write more.
It's strange how Amy never think's about her own pussy, I don't know if she still has it or not. Did she never question her existence as a woman, having a family or kids?
The story is good, sexy some word are repeated to often but it is still a nice story, but what me confuses is Amy is upset only about the horse cock and not about her missing womanhood.
Now i am a trans female i never have been with a trans female but would love to meet one for fun.I met one at the adult theater one night.We talked and went in to a large booth wear we kissed and felt each other up.I soon had her dress off and mine as well.She had a monster cock i have never seen one that big before.Soon i found my self down on my knees red lips wide open swallowing as much of that lovely cock in my mouth.Her cock grew bigger as i sucked it deeper down my throat.I felt her hands on my head fourcing her cock deeper down my throat until her balls rested on my chine.I felt her cock stiffen and it started to fill me with her cum.Soon after she fucked me filling my ass with more cum.
"Horse-cock Girl Ch.01:" - Wild!!, Weird!! Wonderment?? Wow! Thank God that the human brain has the ability to imagine--and even visualize--events such as a horse-cock of momentous proportions on an adolescent teenage girl. As with many other reader's comments, one of my first thoughts is, what happened to the pussy of Amy? Otherwise we envious porn sex-gluttons would be spending more of our time masturbating, wishing someone would write such as our story's female-cock of epic size as we have just had the pleasure to read.
Though awed by concepts of a "horse-cock" on a young, virgin female is awesome to imagine, I still would like some degree of rationality and normalcy to the theme, character(s), and covert message.....as much as is possible. I imagine Amy's fuck-buddy Lucy is extremely bow-legged the next day! I'm curious as to the makeup of Amy, and Lucy's, off-spring that evidently should occur!
My message to "joshy029" is to keep writing; you'll find fertile field's of warped minds such as mine, in the audience reading with us, eager to read, soaking up future "dream-world" human possibilities," but yet many eons in the future.
Suspension of disbelief is a challenge, in the best of situations; when you get too carried away with certain aspects, it becomes impossible to engender in your readers, and without it, success suffers.
You have a high percentage of positive comments, but with some slight changes, you would still have them, and convert the negatives, as well.
The guy raving about inaccurate scientific procedures? A lost cause. The "Horse Cock? Horse shit...", as well.
But, make the ridiculous effing size plausible, which also dumps the cervical penetration absurdity, as well, and you convert a number of negatives to positives, or neutrals. (Also, remember, only a small fraction of readers comment, and they can't be taken as a accurate sample. People positive about the story will comment in higher numbers, while people who bail out, mid story, or think it's shite, you'll never hear from.
The cervical penetration is a real dead end, for me. Not only would it be physically impossible, (a cock of ANY kind cannot get hard enough to penetrate a cervix. End of story. We're talking a 1/8 - 1/4" opening, of an undilated cervix, whether chemically or naturally occurring, (naturally = pre-child birth).
But the physical impossibility is not the breaking point, it is the extremely excrutiating pain an attempt at cervical penetration would cause. To dismiss it, or breeze over it, is shallow and callous; and is only ever done by ignorant male writers.
Any sexually mature woman is going to KNOW how sensitive the cervix is, either from sexual experience, or from going to the effing gynecologist.
If a man is going to write about such things, they should have enough respect for women to do five gawd damn minutes of research on the Internet. Perpetuating the fallacy of cervical penetration, or dismissing it as merely painful is another atep away from where we should be going, as a society, and towards continued male insensitivity.
In other words,
"Git yur head outcha ass." Anonymous.
GeoD
When i saw the title i imagined her being bitten by a radioactive horse...
Really wished you put more effort into describing the appearances of the characters and the areas surrounding them. Mostly the characters
Amy I was going to tell how to handle hard and uncomfortable, like us you found out what to do. Now about the mess
Wish I was Amys girlfriend. Or even her boyfriend if I could suck her cock and her fuck me like b that.
Cum on authors! Some youngsters (& older) actually believe what they read here because it’s repeated over and over. The cervix is just the lowest part of the womb. During birth it takes sometimes hours & pain to dilate the cervix to 5 cm. No man can penetrate the cervix unless it’s malformed. Once when fingering my wife I tried to penetrate with just one finger. She yelled at me that it hurt! Don’t try this at home boys & girls.
Bill S.