All Comments on 'Hostile Takeover'

So hot and extraordinarily well written. I'm hoping to see other stories similar to this in the future.

If you hadn't said this was your first story I would never have guessed, very well done!

This was quite well-written and very originally handled. It's so nice to see new approaches to hypnosis, and the water droplet was really clever. I think the biggest weakness is pacing. You should give more details and drag out the erotic bits a bit longer! The story focuses a ton on what Carl is feeling, which is great, but maybe not quite enough on what he's hearing, seeing and experiencing.

I mean, obviously, take what I say with a grain of salt. I think there are worse things to hear than, "I'd have enjoyed this story even more had there been more of it." :)

Like Giggling Goblin, I think it could stand to be drawn out more, in a 'seduction' sense. His fall is not actually instantaneous, but seems like it because it skips over a lot of territory.

That said, it's a great story.