All Comments on 'Hotel Bartender'

Your story probably belongs in the 'Erotic Couplings,' but no matter. The important thing is you posted it for all to read -- that can be a high hurdle to overcome. You've packed a full story into a small package, which is not easy to do. Some of your paragraphs run long, so consider breaking them up. Also, as a general rule for clarity, dialogue should begin a new paragraph.

This is a good first story, and, since practice makes perfect, I encourage you to keep writing.

Very Hot story! Erotic coupling for sure. How about some more?

This is a hot short story and terrific for a first submission. I hope you decide to post more. I'm looking forward to reading more from you.

This was a very nice story. I think you could have expand just slightly her debating whether to go to the room or not during her shift and getting more apprehensive yet wetter.

Also it would be interesting to see how long she he thought about what it meant to be being paid for sex with a stranger before the lust made her think this was a great thing.

I'm glad you decided to write and to post. Keep it up.