All Comments on 'Housewives Club Pt. 01'

Great fantasy for a cheating victim!

Never end a chapter with, "to be continued," or any other statement. the story should conclude on its own.

I like to drop words I think are unnecessary and it appears you do as well. Unfortunately you're dropping the wrong words. Then you're adding words that don't need to be included.

It's 8 PM, Her friend arrives at 9 AM and they talk into the evening. Something's wrong here.

Five Thousand Dollars? Jimbo must be an Amir.

I have to ask if English is your native language. There are too many gaffes of one kind or another. Sometimes it's difficult to figure out what you are trying to say. I like the concept of the club but may not read any more chapters because of your writing style.

She arrives at 3:00 PM. He arrives at 4:30. They have sex several times. She falls asleep; and, when she awakens, the sun is shining brightly! What's the story? She spent the whole night there? It's the Alaskan summer? It's a Monday? Where's Mark, her son? It just doesn't all work together. Try to think before you write. Then the story might make sense.

I gave you four stars. In retrospect, that may be one or two stars too many. Thank your stars that I didn't think before I rated your tale!

Can't wait for the next Installment .

It was a fun and sexy story, but some were distracted by the 'speck on the pillow.' Since when did this site become a forum for English Lit majors to show off the results of their chosen education? Five stars because it was a juicy one. :)

Keep the To be continued as it indicates that this SERIES is to be continued and not that this episode is to be continued.

I agree you need an editor to smooth the rough edges,

Keep writing, I look forward to your next episode.

I agree with the other commenters that you need an editor to smooth over the mistakes and rough spots in the story. I also question the category chosen for the series. The Mature category usually details stories about older men and younger women or older women and younger men. Alice is a middle age housewife and nothing indicated that Jim was either greatly older or younger than Alice. I think a better category would have been Erotic Couplings. Just my opinion.

the way you confront and escape from a cheating selfish cruel asshole is to become . . . a cheating selfish stupid whore. Wait till she gets the black mailing photos, the demands for promiscuous unlimited sex, and wait till she gets the venereal diseases. She decides to deal with her husband''s monstrous behavior by becoming a monster herself.

The only one really getting fucked in this story is the innocent son. May his parents die in a very tragic and financially rewarding accidental death. Hopefully he will never learn that they had it coming, and that there is a God.

A little different, I enjoyed it, certainly promises more as the characters evolve. Why are anonymous people allowed to destroy people's self confidence by destroying their works. No name, should be no comment, I am sure it's the same bore that goes around these type of stories for the sole point of criticising. Go away leave them to those of us who really enjoy them

What's all the talking about you needing an editor? I do not read these stories as literary Pulitzers but rather entertaining erotic stories penned by people who have incredibly creative sensual, erotic and carnal talents describing sexual encounters. I enjoyed the story very much and applaud the author. The sex at the end was amazing.

Sounded like you have a good idea for a story but it was just too poorly written to slog through to the end. You might try reading your story out loud to yourself. Some of the problems would be obvious with that.