All Comments on 'How Far Is Too Far?'

If I remember correctly, it didn't impress me the first time I read it, and it doesn't impress me now. If you did rip it off, you could have "aimed a bit higher", and if you actually rewrote it and resubmitted it, why'd you bother?

Must as I despise the reptilian Epiphany-Jones, with his pompous maunderings and viciousness poorly disguised as wit, I find myself in agreement with him, and I'm probably going to hell for it. This was so-so the first time around, rehashed (possibly) and served up again as new fare, and it's still the hackneyed, nothing story it was then. If you wrote it originally, why did you re-post it in almost the same form, with only negligible changes, if any; I couldn't remember anything significant from the first time round, or if, as he makes veiled accusation, you ripped it off, (which I very much doubt, who would, it's not exactly a deathless classic) why post it so soon after the original wallowed through the site and sank without trace? I think you're the original author, trying for a second shot at the 'H' target, but with this story? You're on a loser here, buddy.

It changes from 1st to 3rd person right during the story... terrible.

"Brother's" eyes, not brothers, unless it's a group bang! Enough already said about midway switching to 3rd person. If you plan to submit another story, an edit by someone who knows English and writing advised.

I don't like Third person stories and hate a change from First to Third person.

Makes the story loose all reality. Next time don't screw the story up....

rough but gentle, quick but loving. well done

Don't let these assholes get to ya. Despite the flaws - changing POVs, minor grammar stuff, using a familiar trope; your storytelling was lurid and sexy. You definitely have some natural writing talent; you just need to keep writing, and with experience, the kinks will work themselves out.

If you need some editing feedback sometime, hit me up. I'd be glad to give you notes...

I like it when baby sister tease cost her her virginity just got what she wanted so good for big brother

If you are to write a story, please make sure to kerp the line.

You went from first person to second in the middle of the text.

Itsnot only bad writing, it makes you wonder if you simply stole the story and substituted the persons to make it seem like it was your experience.

The story is not bad in it self, but you lost points for not proof reading it.

Some constructive criticism:

I noticed you changed perspectives a few times, going from 3rd person, to 1st person, then back again, then back yet again to 1st person where it settled. You should edit to ensure that the whole story is in the same perspective.

Also, I find myself rolling my eyes when people use the word 'sex' to describe parts of the body such as a pussy, and I doubt I'm the only one. In fact, I think I read somewhere here on Literotica, probably on a guideline faq, how this phenomenon isn't very attractive to readers. I mean, we're (writers) writing erotic fiction, with graphic details involving sexual encounters, can we not simply use proper terms for our characters' genitals? Seems a bit silly not to do so.

Anyway, that's my constructive feedback, I felt the story was very good, keep it up! :D

a clit is a very small penis, a lump, a sensitive nub. you can caress it, lick it but you cant go into it..

Beside that you did good.

Halfway through it changed from I to she.