All Comments on 'How I Met Her Mother'

Nice job for your first story. The build up was well paced for the story's length but I recommend brushing up on your female anatomy. I think you're confusing parts and their locations and it was a bit distracting while reading. The cervix is inside past the vagina; if you could even reach the cervix to finger it rapidly it'd probably hurt like heck. The vulva only makes up the external genitalia. So while your other references to her vulva do make sense. your first reference to the vulva probably should say "straight up into her vagina" instead. Hope that helps, and good luck writing!

Very good indeed... It all happens fast, but it's still fun to read... Please continue! :)

I wrote this in a single day so the mistakes are kinda cute to me. I'll leave it as is so you all can enjoy my amateur work.

You're right about the anatomy errors and I even caught a few spell check correction errors introduced by my browser spell checker. Next time I'll use a real editor and not my sublime text notepad and even actually proof the story more than once before I submit it.

Like many here, this is just personal therapy. Enjoy or not, we're cool either way.

Very nice build-up of sexual tension! It was a nice touch to leave the reader wondering whether or not the whole thing was a dream. ;-)