All Comments on 'Hunted'

I suggest you find an editor, or do some research on sentence construction, etc. as there are a lot of mistakes here. Here's one example (of many):

"Your rough voice in my ear, tearing off my shirt with one hand."

First of all, that is not a complete sentence. Secondly, what you have written is that his VOICE is tearing her shirt off.

Some editing is needed, yes, but this is not as bad as the other comment implies. There's some misplaced commas and sentences that need to be revised (such as the one pointed out), but the story is very readable, and the use of fractured sentences and whatnot can be, as it is (mostly) here, a style--one that really set the tone and feel for the story and made it unique. I liked it.

Totally hot, short and yet sexy. I love the vivid imagery and descriptions, especially the contrast of the snow and silence, in comparison to her hyper awareness of her warm body.

Have no idea what the other editing comment was about - I understood your story fine, with one exception of the non human's hands (when he was ripping her clothes off). Other than that, I agree with the other post, it's a writing style that still makes sense and adds urgency. I like it a lot. There are too many long winded stories on here that are neither descriptive, nor add relevant details. I think yours had just the right amount.

Also, if he/she thinks you need an editor.... he/she needs to go read about 100 random erotica stories and then come back. I've probably read a thousand at this point (been reading erotica online, for years) and really. I think 60 - 70% of published works didn't even include a spell check! Lol. Keep writing and practicing!