by angel_face019
too short.
smut not hot enough.
the fact that it's just a dream is a turn off.
improve yourself! >_<
Hey ignore them okay this is a good first part of a story. See what the little prepubesent person who left this message don't realise is that this is the first part of a story so like other story's your not going to spill all your best stuff on to the first chapter. And at least this is what I got out of it. The devil is a powerful creature he can slow time down or speed it up. Just do what we talked about eariler and it will be great. You can't please everyone so you might as well please yourself. I'm glad to see that you got on here. Keep em coming
Hi! it is part of a story. I think I should've waited when all the first chapters are in. I'm open for suggestions anyway... Thanks to my editor! very encouraging
I had a dream very similar to this one. And I know what u meant when you wrote that even though this character knew he was evil...she still felt drawn to him. Great job in your descriptions. I only hope you would continue with this story.