All Comments on 'Hurricane Season'

Good one!

5

Definite 5!

Please continue with this story.

I also enjoyed the story! Great job!

Great story,thank you very much.

Really great story, would love a sequel to it but feta cheese and scallions with tuna?

I loved the story. Just enough Whoopie, good plot line and enough of the other characters to keep the interest level up. Also the banter between Paul and his sister-in-law was awesome. Well done! Please consider writing a sequel.

DON'T write a sequel; this story is perfect just as it is! 5-stars +++

It's a five, I adore the elements. All of it. Sweet characters, who make you like them. Happiness aplenty. Good!

Pretty good, pretty neat. Not bad at all. I can see a follow-up where Paul (and maybe Siouxsie) gets it on with a red-haired Joanie, can't you? Hmmm? :)

Great story very well plotted. Would love a sequel if you can find one.

Cheers

SAGE

I normally don't hand out 5* to incomplete stories, but this one is so well done I'm breaking my own rule. I agree 100% with others, PLEASE consider finishing the tale! 5*

This was a fantastic story and hope to see more of these two.

Truly excellent! Thanks!!!

A lovely story!! The ending left us a little bit short s concluding chapter would be nice ;-)

I will be looking for part 2 soon. 5

She was a little psycho at first, but the story developed nicely. Well done.

Nicely done. Characters were well rounded. Certainly didn't strain the plausibility meter.

Well done. I think it needs to be continued.

Like many others have said, we need a part 2 of this tale, telling us about how time at Cornell went for Paul and Susan 😉

Wow! very nice story.

I give you 5⭐ very well deserved.

Your characters are absolutely delightful with a special mention to Joanie and Siouxsie who are natural, kind, loving, and very in love.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Delightful story from beginning to end. It's the kind of story that plays on Hallmark Channel--minus the sex, of course. Good luck in the contest.

So sweet and beautifully written. Thank you so much :-)

Very well done, and highly enjoyable. Do hope you do a Part II. Superb, 5*+. Thank-you.

Congratulation. very very nice story.

Thanks.

As said in other reviews, a sequel would be great.

The development and evolution of the transition from a teenage love affair to a fully grown relationship.

And please keep Siouxsie and Joanie's irreverent but perfectly loving and loyal behaviors and attitudes.

Hello Carrteun,

Have you written a story about Joanie and Mark?

Their couple seems to be wonderful.

And the slow evolution of Joanie, from a very shy girl brought up under a fairly present religion to an outgoing, confident, irreverent wife but always having great kindness and a great love for her in-laws could be the subject of a fabulous story.

I've read just about every story in the contest. Yours is the only one I've given a five to. I loved the character development. Making the characters rounded and plausible adds so much to the narrative. Your conversations between characters was lively and moved the plot along. You managed a light tone while touching on some weighty issues. I am impressed.

Great story and very well written loved the cast of different characters and how you had them interact with each other. True to life and true family life. Keep up the great story and good writing would like to see how life continues back at home with brother and wife as well as at school.

I agree with all the previous favourable comments. This love story could be continued through college, marriage, children and into old age. Well done!

This should be made into a movie. Great characters and fun setting with even the secondary characters more than interesting and worthy of stories of their own. Good development and plenty of erotic interest. Well done indeed.

I’m sorry but I must disagree with those who have posted before me. Several issues of varying concern: Several typos. Mistakes with pronoun use. Her character didn’t ring true, cold at first and then suddenly using her vibrator while talking to him on the phone. The whole story seemed nothing more than a series of vignettes with no common theme or issue to overcome. The guy was a jerk for not telling her of his law school plans. You don’t treat someone you care for/ love that way. Speaking of love, there didn’t seem to be much of that here. This was more of an erotic coupling story than a romance.

Want more!!!

Interesting story…with engaging characters. I thought it was a fine ending as is, though I could see a sequel as a possibility. There were only modest errors throughout…nothing too distracting. But I do wonder about Siouxsie’s legs: “There was nothing I could say about her legs except that no woman alive be happy to have them.” Ouch!

A very nice story. Thanks for writing I hope to read more from you

A few typos, etc that should have been picked up and corrected but not a major detraction from the story. Thought he was being unfair in not telling her that he too was going to Cornell especially as she was so concerned about it simply being a holiday affair. Joanne was a hoot.

Made me wish this 72 y/o was fifty years younger & in the SUV with Siouxsie. And bollocks to the folks who need to point out the typos. Yes, I chafe when grammar, spelling & syntax are foreign to the writer but, come on, this is not a PPV (or pay per read) site. Get over yourselves and enjoy the imaginations & creativity of writers who are willing to put themselves out here for our titillation and enjoyment. 5 stars & a fave.

A fun story, well told with believable, likable characters. Thank you for writing and thank you for sharing your work.

Brilliant - young love as it should be.

Very glad to see this one win a prize!

I loved the story, but the ending was a bit hokey. There should have been a great deal more angst at the thought of going to different schools. But overall, well done!!

I hope there's a part two at college!

Very well written, and perfectly balanced. I like that the author didn’t spend any effort trying to describe an enormous dick or immature porn fantasies. Definitely worthy of the award!

Excellent writing. Nice build up. Every aspect of the story in the right proportion. Very well written.

Fantastic story, sex parts not bad either 😉

I enjoyed learning about the characters. I could feel what they felt. I liked that there was enough of a backstory to include the additional background characters. Overall I felt it was a delightful read and would enjoy hearing more about Paul and Siouxie as well as Mark and Joanie. Thanks for such a fun time. Keep up the good work!

I really enjoyed the stroy. Would love to see a sequel

Outstanding, obvious why it won the contest.

This is a beautiful romance, not a bawdy tale. Well-written, with fabulous characters, and genuine good story-telling. Of course it's a fantasy sexually, but also in terms of a real loving relationship, one anyone would relish. Please write novels and publish them. You are officially my favorite author based on this story. I have tears of joy for them both!

I have to agree "Please write novels and publish them. You are officially my favorite author based on this story."

I think that you are wasted if you are not writing full time.

Excellent. Sequel!!! Second semester she should move in with Paul. Characters are superb. There's at least 2 more stories with them.

AWESOME!!! Need a 2nd chapter and 3rd!!!! Good Job!!!

Major problem with the golf part of the story. If a ball on the green is hit by a ball played from off the green, the ball that was struck is not played from where it is after the impact, but is replaced as close as possible to its original position. Details matter

Wonderful story, very well written. Totally forgivable for a few typos in pushing a deadline to deliver a contest entry. What is too gross is dumping that eggplant parmigiana on the table. YUCK!!! I far prefer the tuna, scallion and feta any day, preferably with balsamic vinaigrette dressing.

I'll give you a 5, despite the golf gaffe.

Loved it, but I could have lingered over the end for another page or two, but then again I pretty much say that about all the stories I'm reluctant to let go.

I very much enjoyed it 😊. But, I too would have liked another page or two to flesh out the ending a bit more. A 2nd chapter would be amazing if your up for it.

The whole vibrator scene early on came from out of nowhere and didn’t match her personality up to that point.

Truly heartwarming story. Very well written very romantic

Excellent story espeially the way you have drawn the women and their part in the development of the male charaters. Ony Sharon doesn't stand out as much, but 3 creative women characters take over so much of the story's development. You really have a winner here. Joanie has set up the future and Souxiese (help !) has so much left in her tank too. Please give us some more.

I normally only read lesbian stuff, but this story is amazing. I really like how you explain the little things. It really brings depth to this story. Will reread for sure.

I can not believe that it's taking me a year to find the story!

This story is fantastic. It brought this old man memories of my own college days and romances I had. The intimate descriptions you gave brought me back to younger days and a passion I felt then, please, please, please write more of the story! It's been a year, but you still need to write a sequel of some kind for this.

Back in the late 1960s I spent a week an Ithaca college at a high school music camp and one day was spent touring Cornell. I still remember the view from the high-rise dorms, looking out upon the town, and that long "finger" of a Lake. First time I have ever wanted to give 10+ stars to any story. I will be reading more of your work.

On a humorous note Siouxsie would be really pissed if she could hear how my computer pronounces her name when I have it on speech.

FIVE STARS! I love the characters and the way you make them real for us.

One bit of feedback. Somehow all the build up done, the foreshadowing throughout around his "secret" admission to Cornell Law, just didn't really seem justified in the final scenes. It's a let down, given all the effort you put into it, which the readers then invest their time in absorbing. Just my take - hope it has some value to you.

Above all, thanks again for a terrific story! And where is the follow up? It's over a year now, and nothing else has been posted, whether new stuff or follow up!

Ok

A 5

But one of the things you need to try is to edit out at least 1/3

The bits that dont develop the story 1/3

Then to really hit the big time

Cut some more

Read the top stories

They are not larded with unnecessary fluff

What i just suggested is not that write a stroker

Write a tight story.

Good luck

Great story, fun read.

This was amazing. Thank you for writing it.

Thanks enjoyed it immensely. Great story, great characters!

I think this one is one of your better ones. I noticed you have your characters interact than most. It seems the characters really think a lot of each other. And are willing to show it.

5 stars

Take care

Thank you.

Your stories are worthy of 5 stars. This story was really well done. Please tell us what happened at Cornell as well!

Such a great story, I’m glad I found it again.

Great story, but you should pay attention to repeating words. The first three paragraphs are borderline annoying to read.

Well done! A true romance, clearly headed to a wonderful life together.....if you write it! :)