by Hypoxia
I really liked this. Gave me a good btb thrill and a nice laugh also. Please continue this good stuff.
Five Stars
This is so sick . Instead of dealing with her infidelity he choice to execute her. I hope shira law does not infect the good old USA.
From one electronics tech to another, your story is cute, but not possible. How to get the circuit closed with their bodies in the middle just doesn't work. The cloth and padding of the matress is an insulator and wouldn't conduct. Nice try.
Should have a realistic angle to it. Could this have actually happened? The thing in this story seems SOOOOO unrealistic, that it mars some of the fun. Electrocuted by wires attached to the bed springs? Who has metal bedsprings anymore, really? Also, too hard to make it appear accidental. Note, this isn't a complaint about use of death in your story, or anything, but more an issue on how he was able to get away with it.
Now, here is what I liked. I liked the idea of him being nearly deaf. This becomes a great justification for poor communication. It also seems likely that it became the source of her frustration with him. It does seem like a common thing that people underestimate the hard of hearing; somehow confusing deafness with stupidity. Maybe it IS the constant "WHAT?" 's that go on, but when people have to talk louder, and slower, they somehow think that the listener must need more time to process, and thus must have a dimminished mental capacity. SILLY! I liked how your story is an attempt to call attention to this stereotyped misunderstanding.
Others will complain about the lack of balance in this little tale. We need to know more about her motivations and so forth. If they were still fucking morning and night, why did she need the extra cock? If she really preferred the extra cock, then why were they still fucking morning and night? How was he never able to tell her body had been used by another? What was her endgame goal? How long had they been together before she started cheating, or had it ALWAYS been so? Who was this other guy, and why did he have to die? That kind of stuff, and the answers to some or all of those kind of questions MIGHT have made this seem more complete. But even without deeper character development, I think you WERE sucessfull in delivering a short little flash, with a strong consistent tone and voice. Certainly a decent diversion for the BTB-minded. But don't assume that BTBr's don't want a deeper, more complete, well thought-out and developed story. This too, won't get rated as your "best work", just because it caters to a specific part of the audience here. But it probably WILL get rated higher than the competition, at least compared against what was posted today, LOL!
Thanks for your contributions!
Enjoyed the story. Hearing problems can get hard. I completely understand where he came from. Wish that cure was for real. Thanks for writing this
I liked your tale the wiring job would not work as you told but it is only a tale.
As always, I dislike death-as-punishment stories. For many reasons, but the one I'll point out (again) is that death is fast and, after the event itself, meaningless to the dead. Once you're gone, you're just gone...no cares or guilt to speak of. And most of the time (like here) in those tiny seconds between the start and end of dying, they don't even know that it's happening because they cheated.
Over-65s have one of the highest suicide rates, and for a reason...even at that age, a lifetime of sadness can be more painful than a quick death.
Sorry fellows but your idea of revenge reminds me if the new kid on the block ISIS , kill all who disgrace me, kill all who believe in another religion, kill all women who disobey , beat them, stone them to death, sell them, treat your pet dog better than your spouse. If this your idea of justice then you are so sick maybe you should go to Syria . Good luck with you hate of women and those sick ideas of revenge
5 decades of gunfire has left me with a massive ringing in my ears, ear plugs only do so much good. Even when paired with muffs.
I'm not a big kill the cunt guy. I would rather have them live and be miserable for the rest of their lives.
Having a defined nonfatal punishment might reduce the incidence and the violence of the reaction. This not a new idea but when I was a child, people thought it reasonable to off adulterers and if they convinced the jury that they were our of control they usually were found guilty of manslaughter. I know one woman who shot her husband and it was deemed justifiable homicide by the police... Note that the DA did not even want to cost the state money. Note that there is no question of misogyny on my part. After all this act can destroy the life of the SO.
Hard to believe this garbage is rated four stars. The Caveman BTB crowd is so easily entertained, it's ridiculous. The previous guy who compared them to ISIS is right on the money. They would fit right in with that crowd.
Why is this in Loving Wives? Did I miss the extra-marital "fun?" Or maybe the author thinks it's "fun" to murder because your feelings got hurt. Pathetic.
really isn't that cool. I suppose it is a fantasy some harbor. If you wanted justice for the cheaters, would it follow that the murdering husband should also be brought to justice, or should justice only apply to wives and their boyfriends, and not to murderers?
Marva and Jimmy may have been bouncing on the bed, but considering that bedsprings are independent within a mattress, that the springs are covered with material, the mattress is padded, there was a mattress pad and sheets on the bed, it seems unlikely that any amount of bouncing would have done anything but cause the stripped wires to short circuit on one another, doing nothing to the occupants of the bed. If you're going to kill people, do a better job of thinking it through. And you really think the police would have been "distracted" from the fact that you had a high powered amp hooked up? That was just ridiculous. This whole story was simply poorly planned and the conclusion was ludicrous.
This is a true ftb (fry the bitch) story. Thanks for the humor
For the one that take this seriously, lighten up.. This is fiction and is was meant to be humorous. To compare to isis is totally out of line.
The murder thing just doesn't seem like a good revenge in a story. Maybe in real life you'd show them good but when it's a story and you depend on people reading it a simple murder seems like a cop out. Revenge story fans want to read about all the lengths someone will go to get back at the cheaters. Murder takes up one or two sentences and it can't even really be considered revenge if the cheaters are dead right away and not have to live with the consequences. CONSEQUENCES....a BTB authors best friend should be consequences.
Ok, for all those who are being technical. It is a STORY, a FANTASY, you know make believe. Why is it almost all the Negative commenters, are almost always listed as Anonymous. Lily livered critics, I guess. I though it was funny, and I wish it was a bit longer. I gave it 5 * only because, I couldn't go higher. I will look forward to reading more from you, Hypoxia.
I hope you weren't a REAL electronic technician at any point in your life. If you were, you've forgotten, at the very least, Ohm's Law.
I know it is "just fiction", but even in science fiction, stories can't violate any known laws of the universe if they are to be taken seriously. Even a fuck story should stick to that basic rule.
I liked the deafness angle. It was something a little new for these kinds of stories. But the 50KW "amplifier" with the big hairy transformer just sunk the whole thing. Most guitar amps are less than 100 watts. I think the biggest Mesa/Boogie is 90 watts just to give a sense of scale. I know of at least one super amp that was 3,000 watts (3KW), but I think it was one-off and I don't remember who it was for.
Any 50 KW equipment of any kind would be so big the bed would probably fit under IT, not the other way around. And it would take Superman to haul it upstairs.
Not to mention that a single service drop to an apartment would likely be 200 amps, capable of 20 KW, but the outlets in the room would only likely be 15 amps capable of about <2 KW.
Silly. Stick with what you know or do the research. You're too inventive a writer to ruin a good story with something like that. You would have been better off with obvious hyperbole saying it "sent a gazillion amps" through their bodies. Or just found some other inventive way to off them, if that was your choice.
I enjoy your stories and your posts on the forums.
rj
I'll admit finding your wife was screwing over your nose was very disrespectful, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't rise to the level of justifying a death sentence. Revenge is a dish best eaten very cold, and always dig two graves, you will need one for yourself.
What, like the woman or the man suffering the death penalty don't have family or friends who wouldn't take kindly to this mans sense of justice. Are the police that stupid, I'm pretty sure they aren't. I think you should rethink that part of the story.
If it's a story, why you defending to so strongly? Unless you've NEVER read a story, watched a movie (or play or TV show) and thought "That doesn't make sense" you defense is what doesn't make sense. Commenting on the pros and cons of a story -- of the plot, of the writing. of the logic -- is the essence, well, commenting on a story.
she should suffer for her infidelity, killing is to easy and you go away to the big house and becomes someone's wife. so if you cross all you tees and dots make her suffer .
This is FANTASY. Yes, I have been an e-tech. (I earned FCC 2nd & 1st tickets a few decades ago, worked commo in the Army, and have taught electronics.) Yes, I know electrocution would not go this smoothly. Yes, I know how big a 50kw transformer (NOT amp) would be. It's like a story of a chemist concocting an impossible brew -- it's FANTASY. No, I do not think murder is the right solution. This is a FANTASY tossed-off for BTB bloodseekers. I spent about two hours writing and editing -- short and not-so-sweet. I pushed many readers' buttons so I've done my job. Enjoy!
It took you two hours to write this? That seems about 110 minutes too long. Yeah, it's basically red meat for the knuckle-dragging BTB/ISIS crowd, but what's the point?
I'll never understand why people come to an erotic website to read stories about murder and revenge.
You may wonder why I gave you a 5 star rating. I am 75% deaf. Burn the bitch with her mother fucker!! It was short(ed) and sweet. Good show! Cheers!
as they shamble-run to make their comment.
What's that, troll? Sorry. I can't hear you/
Appreciate the author's explanation that this is basically a flash story. Five stars as a flash story, although I do respect HDK's comments.
A very good story....Entertaining and funny....Thank you
but most readers are too young (well under age-adjusted 39) to catch it -- too bad you couldn't throw Rochester into the mix
Fun, clever, well-written, quick, to-the-point, something different. Nothing wrong with the occasional, well-planned homicide.
All of the BTBers who are telling everyone that this story is just entertainment and that they need to lighten up, where is all of this "common sense" when there is a cuckold story or a husband humiliation story? I don't see anyone "lightening up" when they call all cucks closet dick-suckers and saying that they should all die. Murder is fine as long as the guy is a "real man".
I really didn't like this story. Contrary to what people on this site think, death is not a suitable punishment for adultery. If a cheater deserves to die, what does the murderer deserve?
Gave it 4*,would have given it 5* if he had let her know it was him that was going to be the cause of her death....but....Oh well. That's just me being me.
It crept in through a lazy adjudicator who, like me, enjoyed the first half of the story. Obviously the author is a creep too. Sad.
Yes FTB story and I agree to write a not murder BTB is more difficult. The most murder stories are not Revenge, but sad Consequence stories. I did not give less than 5*****, because the sexual minority husband stories and the sexual majority husband stories have not two hubs..........
it was successful. As is often the case, the comments are as entertaining as the story.
btw, could you put me in touch with the clinical trial folks?
It Was Okay
I'm not too fond of killing off the cheater in stories (except in extreme situations, such as self-defense, or when it makes a lot more sense), turning them into third-world sex slaves, or any number of extreme acts, but I still gave the story 3-stars, just because of the dark humor. It still didn't make sense, even if the main character was 90% deaf, as there's always a chance that he might go upstairs for something or walk into the house as the other guy was sneaking in or out. Moreover, the characters and story lacked much depth (despite the focus on the main character's background). I realize that it's just a really short story, but that was just how I felt about the story overall.
CINCO ESTRELLAS GRINGO !!!
Harry iV's Witness
Without a doubt one of the very best BTB stories EVER!!! (Pun intended!!!)
That so many commenters think that killing them over this is just great, is the really scary aspect of the story. The story itself is also totally unbelievable. I know, I know, it's only a story, but a fire would certainly ensue, and the whole building might go. If you think that the cops wouldn't wonder how such an electric charge occurred in the bed frame, not to mention the fire inspectors, then you're not reality based. Still the disturbing thing is the cheerleaders for murder. Infidelity is not a reason for murder. He should just be glad he found out before kids, and dump the bitch.
Not my cup of tea. Killing someone because they cheated on you is utterly reprehensible.
NO IT"S NOT. IN fiction, it's justifiable.
Would I kill my wife and lover if I caught them fucking? Hell yes. In a heartbeat. And I have told her so. When she expressed her serious doubts that I would go that far, I took her by the hand, pulled one of my guns from its resting spots high upon a shelf and led her outside. A few moments later I heard the unmistakable sound of a squirrel. I raised my gun, aimed and...BANG! The squirrel tumbled from the tree, kicked a few times and lay dead on the ground. My wife covered her mouth with her hands. Then she asked, "Why did you do that? Just to prove a point?" "Exactly. The squirrel didn't do a thing to upset me. I wasn't even mad at the squirrel. It didn't betray me in any way. Now do you still think I would not be able to pull the trigger on you and your lover if I ever caught you being unfaithful? Are you willing to risk your life on that assumption?" My wife and I are no longer together, but we didn't split over infidelity. She was smarter than that.
Loved it as I hate and will not read a Willing Cuckold Story. Plus I am retired military and have a bad hearing problem caused by it. ( Navy ) Also due to my rank and position, I heard about every cheating wife story. Some real sick. So keep writing please.
MCPO Jim
I enjoyed your story very much. I too served and worked with munitions and things that go bang and later around B-52s. Older now with Tinnitus I contacted the Veterans Administration and after a bit of time and testing they gave me a hearing aide.
Too short but to the point without a lot of that "I love only you" and "it was only sex" bullshit. If only we could get more of the true burning of the bitch stories like this one, i think we'd all be happier.
This was murder, not revenge! Revenge works best when you can fuck up both parties, especially the guy (so he can never use his cock again), and the know who fucked them up but can't prove it! They have to live the rest of their lives in misery!
Literally a double burn. I don't like hurting the cheating wife physically, let alone killing them. Hurting the cheating partner, however, is always a plus.
Now if he had just FU the other guy with a slow GFCI, that would be great.
That hurt! And that's a lot of electricity. The only question I had was who was lover boy and why was she with him? A bigger cock? An old boyfriend? He sort of came out of the blue. Other than that - this was BTB!
in this case self satisfaction has to be enough. TK U MLJ LV NV
i laughed at this one hard. very original nicely done
This story had a ringing of truth throughout. There are a lot of us old band members who stood too close to the amps at Friday night dances or sat too close during a concert so the loss of hearing is something to which we can relate. Also, a lot of us ended up in the military, Air Force for me, trying to avoid going to Vietnam and learning a trade (304X4 Ground Radio). So overall this was a story many of us can relate to as we read your sad tale. The only FUBAR I see is using a wired bed post and spring to cook their sorry asses. I’m pretty sure the mattress would keep them from becoming krispy kritters plus the house fuse would have blown before a nice roasting fire could start. Just in case your didn't get that…I LIKED IT!
For those who haven't enjoyed working on military gear: FUBAR Fucked Up Beyound Any Repair.
Quick and painful. Glad to see a brother in arms get some due. Just wish he would have made her suffer a little more.
Original story
I should listen to my wife more carefully. She thinks I'm hard of hearing, and she's right.
Interesting story line but your electrical reality is totally missing. Fifty Thousand Watts of ungrounded power protected by a quick blow fuse might scare the shit out of them but I doubt if they would get a tingle. The mattress would act as an insulator when the arc welding to the bed happened so a bright flash and then they would probably be cleaning crap out of the bed. Got to make them part of the circuitry to create toasty critters.
I hold commercial FCC technician and engineer licences and I will affirm that 50kw will fry you. I was trained to approach those such feeds VERY carefully. YMMV.
Nope..... Anon is right... it would take a direct connect an the mattress would buffer it.
but.... purrrr... what a delicious story.
Murder wasn't justified. If it had just been enough to knock them out after they shit themselves he could have had her bags packed and on the street before they woke up. He had worn gloves and smeared their shit all over them before kicking them out.
I have no problem with both cheaters getting fried. They don’t cheat, they don’t die. Simple.
One of the advantages of tinnitus is that at altitude it fades, my ex has no idea how I found out about her and the ski instructor..... Something that could be in another story about a fallen woman......
What I did not like was that they died not knowing what happened to them or why.
Simply loved it. Too bad the cheaters didn't get the chance to know what was happening.
Great story.... she and her hairy ass lover got 110% of what they deserved!! Loved it
Very enjoyable, your way of writing is easy to follow scene by scene with just enough detail for a shorter story. Keep it up!¡!
🙊🙉🙈
These writers that get of on incest, a crime so sick that it's universally reveille.
The that enjoy this are sick. Do you secretly want to sex with your mother or father, brothers and sisters? It's not even a cool fantasy.
No, I don't read this stuff but I did want
Voice NY disgust.
It's better to play dumb than be dumb.
Once they've put you in their little box, you can play them like a guitar.
Cute story. But, I really, really wish the mentioned treatment for tinnitus was true. I have it, too much jet aircraft, gun fire, and explosions.
No cure for tinnitus. Isn't the ear. It is the brain dealing with missing or incorrect nerve impulses due to gearing damage.
Not believable he gets away with the double murder. Why would a mattress conduct electricity?
Made me smile. Nice try on the revenge but the only way the would have been electrocuted was if they were grounded somehow when the wire shorted out to the bed springs.