All Comments on 'I Couldn't Stop From Staring'

And you wrote the sequel to this hot little morsel, yesterday, and it's being published tomorrow?!!!! Just kidding, but that's how badly we're ready to read it!

The title says it all.

Enjoyed you moving through time with the character's. One child going off to school and so on. There were a couple of "me" which should have been "my" issues in the work. For myself, proof reading immediately after writing proves ineffective. I must put a piece aside for two days and then re-read it for weak word usage and content. The original work rarely tells a story clearly, and what I mean by that is "other readers will understand it clearly as it was intended."

Keep trying.

There are just too many mistakes, misspellings, and bad grammar. The character has no substance or dimension and the sex (what little there is) is described in a juvenile and awkward fashion. The premise of the story is boring. If you want readers to care about your story then you should present something that you care about. This is too thoughtlessly written. If you don't care enough to write a coherent paragraph, why should I bother to read it. dca4

I hope this Ch.1 with many more to cum! Would love to know the names of your characters. I can't wait to read who seduces whom as the plot builds. Pleas don't keep waiting for Ch. 2.

An outstanding piece. Truly excellent. Have to give it a Five because it is so damned well written.

Alicia707 - going to your story and poem page, I see you are new to posting stories on literotica and it shows. I would like to encourage you to get someone to proofread and edit your work. There are too many grammatical errors, which makes it hard to read. I appreciate your effort and I hope there is a follow-up to this story. All the best

My honest hope is that you gather up your computer and toss it out of the window straightaway.

I like the overall story, however there should be a full development of the characters and story line. The story was somewhat enjoyable, however small that story was. An assessment on character and plot development should be achieved before presenting your next chapter. A full evaluation and understanding of the use of english grammar should be pursued and achieved before attempting another chapter. You managed to wet our appetites, which is good and I will give you that. Learning how to spell and extend vocabulary should not be a problem, as english is the easiest language to learn and master. Please take this as constructive criticism to show improvement and create some of your best stories. I will tell you that this story has me interested, so you really need to bring it for the next chapters. There were far too many grammatical errors for this story to be acceptable for a writer and composer of ideas. The spelling errors were also unacceptable, however, you manage to peak my interest, which is easy to do as I am such a perv when it comes to sexual fantasies. Just remember one important fact: you must develop your plot, settings, and most importantly, your characters. I don't want you to give up, but instead to learn from your mistakes and move forward in your writing. Please avail yourself of all of the writing tips on this site, which includes a proof reader. I am not at all surprised by this writing entry, as you are a beginner. Continue to produce this kind of work and you will surely reap an uninterested audience. As one of the commenters stated, and I am paraphrasing when I say this, you must show interest in your own writing in order for others to take interest and care about your work.

I agree that the writing leaves a little to be desired however, the fantasy is lovely and I totally relate to dreams such as this. Oh, and our neighbours daughter is pretty. :-)

That was a nice teaser, and it's clear you wrote it as a stand alone, but it leaves you with so much potential to expand it into a full story. Please!

Also, disregard the harsh comments from others, it's a little rough around the edges but I've seen so much worse here and I personally found your story easy enough to read. Maybe an editor would help but otherwise keep writing and enjoy yourself.

Write for yourself and not others and you will be so much happier and stress free while posting here. CSJ

I found it very hard to get past the extensive misspelling, wrong words, etc.

very nice but needed more to it maybe some bdsm or a little more of the older women takein control and just useing the youg girl for 1 night