I Don't Know Much

"No. It's not bad news like that, or at least we don't think so. Let me start at the beginning."

Jerry's secretary brought me in a bottle of water and quickly left. "Ok, David followed your wife from your driveway to the airport. He said three guys talked to her but nothing came of it. He actually sat behind her on the flight; she read a book, an H.P. Lovecraft compilation it seems."

"She arrived in Dallas three minutes late and claimed her bags. Sandy picked her up and followed from there. She went straight to the ground transportation area and got the shuttle that serves the hotel where she was staying."

"She arrived at her hotel and checked in and then took her bags up to.."

"Jerry, are all of the mundane details necessary?" I asked out of frustration.

"Well, no I guess they aren't. She went to the evening meetings and dinner and went to bed, after watching Letterman. Meanwhile we managed to find out what flights Sanders and the other two guys were on and trailed them to the Best Western a mile down the road from Stacey. Those three spent the night drinking and reminiscing. There is an audio video file in the drive I gave you."

"Yesterday morning Stacey had breakfast alone in the hotel diner and went to her meetings, had lunch with colleagues, had meetings all afternoon and went to her room after the meetings let out. Sanders, Darling and Philips showed up at her hotel three or four times, talked to the desk clerk once, and made phone calls from the lobby. Stacey's room phone rang in conjunction with their calls."

I was getting more pissed off by the minute. Most of all I wanted to know Stacey's culpability in all of this. I also wondered why, if Stacey had said she wanted the gang bang to be exactly the same, there were only three guys.

Jerry continued his report. I was focusing on my own question until he got interesting. "During her dinner, Sanders sat down at her table. He asked her how late she was going to be, and after she replied he left and rejoined Darling and Philips in a bar next to the hotel."

"After the meetings were done for the evening, Stacey went to the hotel lounge with her colleagues. She took a call on her cell and wrote a couple of things on a napkin. Sandy couldn't get close enough though to hear what was said or to see what was written on the napkin. When a colleague asked Stacey she just replied it was personal business."

"At 9:30 the party broke up and they all headed for their rooms. At 9:45 Stacey answered a phone call to her room phone. David wasn't able to record it. Then she went down to the lounge again. Sandy was in the lounge and my third guy Jeff tailed Sanders, Darling and Philips to the lounge from the bar."

"Stacey came down to the lounge and sat and talked to the three guys for forty minutes. The conversation was pretty mundane, but you have an audio copy of that too. When Stacey finished her drink she bade them all good night and left for her room. Sanders then remarked to Darling and Philips that she had given him her cue to wait ten minutes. He'd then go up and call them when she was ready, but he wanted a few minutes alone with her first."

"Ten minutes later Sanders knocked on Stacey's door. They had a short conversation outside her door; David's recorder still wasn't working. David said it got a bit heated and security escorted Sanders from the hotel."

So far it sounded like good news to me. "So then as soon as she gets out of her meetings today she'll fly home. She'll arrive at four and all will be copasetic."

"Well, in theory it could turn out that way. After breakfast this morning, Stacey headed to her room and collected her luggage. Usually the folks at these meetings do that and stash their stuff in a cloak room. Sandy got separated from her on the way to the elevator and had to wait. David was napping since Sandy was covering Stacey and didn't hear her come or go."

When Sandy finally made it up to the room she listened and couldn't hear anything. She and David immediately headed down stairs to try to reacquire her before the meetings."

"Look," he said. "I will only charge you for half of the job. When David and Sandy couldn't locate her at her hotel they called Jeff. Jeff said his trio also left early but he lost them in the morning rush hour traffic."

"I have told my team to come home. I'm so sorry Fred, but there's just no knowing where she is. We only know she's not in her meeting, her hotel, or Sanders' hotel."

That was fifty minutes ago. I stormed through my front door and was greeted by Gretel, my 3 year old German Shepard. "I hope you are ready to live on the lam girl." I said as I headed to my office. I was going to start getting the bank accounts drained to my "surprise gift or vacation for Stacey" account and then a quick trip upstairs to pack.

I sat down and had just started my PC when I realized that Stacey's lap top was no longer on my desk. I heard something behind me and turned around to face the whore herself. "I thought I heard you come in." she said.

I turned and put my plan into motion. "I missed you baby. Hey, do you want to go to dinner?"

*****

Don't you know? Don't you know? Don't you know that you are a shooting star? Don't you know? Yeah, don't you know that you are a shooting star? And all the world will love you just as long, as long as you are....

Paul Rodgers' voice pours to my ears as the clock hits three AM. I looked to my side and smiled at my sleeping Gretel. I silently wished my life could be as simple as hers. Eat, sleep, get rubbed, go for a walk, and take a shit. What a life. Not that my life is all that bad. I have a great job, a nice house and a faithful wife.

When I came home earlier today ready to murder Stacey I was surprised to find her standing behind me. "I thought I heard you come in. Were you talking to someone?"

A million things ran through my mind as I realized I had to change my plan on the fly. I was just about to talk her into taking a nice drive with me out into the boondocks when she handed me a box with a ribbon tied around it. From the look on her face she had pulled off some kind of gifting coup d'état.

I pulled the ribbon and opened the box. I found myself looking at the #4 piston clock from Eddie Hill's historic 4.93 second run in Houston. I couldn't speak. I looked up to be pulled into my wife's loving arms. I felt the tears in my eyes as I struggled to put my deep heartfelt thanks into words.

Stacey silenced me with a kiss. "I did it! I got you the Holy Grail"

She then told me how she'd been in communication with the guy in Abilene for the past month using her friend's e-mail and her work phone to avoid me seeing anything on bills. She even had her boss negotiating with the guy at times. She had finagled getting her presentation moved up a day so she could meet with the guy before she flew home. She checked out of the hotel and headed straight to Fort Worth to meet him. He was at a collectors show there and then she took the first flight home.

So here I am at three in the morning, listening to music on my PC in my den wearing nothing but a pair of silk boxers with pictures of Shaggy and Scooby Doo all over them. They were a birthday gift from Stacey three years ago and I had to put on something to go out and move Stacey's Jag into the garage at two in the AM. The Jimmy John's kid also saw me in them when he brought our sandwiches around seven.

I am removing most of my spyware from Stacey's computer. I'll keep a ghost program there looking for a few keywords, but I am going to trust Stacey. She has earned it and then some.

Fin!