I Kissed a Girl Ch. 05

I remembered that day. I had gone home from school and asked my mom to take me to get my hair cut. It had remained in a short, pixie style until I graduated.

"I like your hair long, sweetie." Jenna smiled.

Without thinking, I reached up and wrapped a curl around my finger. "Can I ask 'Why me?' I mean, of all the girls in school, what was it about me?"

She shrugged and took another bite of her food. "I don't know."

I set my fork down and reached across the table to her left hand. "Yes, you do. Tell me."

"It's in the past. What does it matter now?"

"Jenna Swallow."

Her eyes flitted up to mine and then returned to her plate where she was pushing the food around with her fork.

"Tell me now or we're going home right after dinner. And I'll cut my hair again."

"Geesh, relax. It really is no big deal."

"Yes, it is. You had a crush on me in high school. A crush that has lasted over twenty years. Why can't you—"

"You stood up for me, okay?"

I blinked and sat back in my chair. "What do you mean?"

She waved her fork through the air. "A bunch of jocks were talking about me at lunch one day. If I'd be any good at giving a blow job, and if I'd swallow or not. My back was to them, but they knew it was me. They said those things so I could hear them. They did it all the time."

"I don't see—"

"I chose to ignore them as usual. But not you. You were sitting at the table on the other side of them. You overheard them, too. You yelled at them. I remember your words to this day. You said—"

"I know what I said.'" I tried to swallow but found it difficult with the sudden lump in my throat. "I said, 'Scott Martini, if you and your buddies spent as much time practicing for football as you did daydreaming about Jenna Swallow, maybe we'd actually win some games this year.'"

"Yep!" Jenna grinned at me. "You told them that I wouldn't give any of them the time of day anyway because who'd want to be with a bunch of jocks who'd already banged the entire cheerleading squad?"

My cheeks felt hot. I had no idea she'd heard me. I hadn't realized she was sitting there behind that tall wall of gossiping testosterone. It hadn't been the first time I'd overheard them talking about her, nor the last. But it had been the only time I'd said anything back.

"No one has ever done that for me before, Kat." She reached for my hand and squeezed it. "That meant more to me than you will ever know. I wanted to thank you, but I didn't know what to say. So I just kept my mouth shut. But I never forgot."

"I'm sorry they said those things to hurt you, Jenna." I tipped my head so I could look her straight-on. "Kids are mean. I know."

"Yes, they are." She took a long sip of wine. "I couldn't help wishing you'd see me as more than just a classmate. I wanted to be friends with you, but I was afraid I'd mess it up. I'd liked girls for awhile at that time, but I hid it from everyone. I'd snuck some of my brother's Playboys when I was in junior high before he'd left for college. I know exactly what you're talking about. Sure, some of the pictures were full-on frontal nudity. But most of them were a tease. Wondering what was under that lace or that sheet or that skirt."

"You certainly didn't wait twenty years, hoping I'd come around. What did you do in the meantime?" I pushed away my empty plate and nibbled on a piece of buttered bread. "Did you date much?"

"I was almost done with college when I met Susie."

I laughed. "I'm sorry, that just sounds like a typical lesbian name."

Jenna laughed as well. "She was butch, if you believe it. Definitely did not go along with her name. Some friends had taken me to a gay club on a whim, not knowing I leaned that way myself. It was a fun time for them. They got drunk and danced on these platforms and boxes, oblivious to everyone else."

"What about you?" I toed off one of my pumps and ran my bare toe along Jenna's shin. She jumped and then smiled at me.

"I hid myself in a corner, just watching everyone. I turned down a lot of requests to dance, afraid that I would make a fool of myself and say or do something stupid."

Her eyes drifted closed for a moment as I moved my toe higher. I was thankful for the long tablecloth and the shadows of the room.

She licked her lips, her voice soft when she continued. "Susie wandered over and offered to buy me a drink. I let her because she didn't want to dance. She said she'd been watching me since I'd come in with my friends. That I looked out of place with them. She asked if I'd ever been to a gay club before. I admitted I hadn't. She'd stared at me for quite awhile and then squeezed my hand, whispering that everything would be okay."

"What did she mean?" I was licking my own lips now, trying to envision the scene in my head.

"I wasn't sure at the time. She just sat there next to me, and we both listened to the music. No one else approached us. Not even my friends. They'd disappeared into one of the other rooms I guess. I later found out they left without me. Someone had told them it would be okay. It hadn't been Susie because she never left my side."

I felt a little twinge in my stomach but told myself that Jenna was with me now and her past didn't matter. I moved my foot up under the skirt of her dress and felt her legs part. I groaned softly, pressing my toes into the soft flesh of her thigh. "Did you go back to her place?"

Jenna lowered her eyes and shook her head. Her fingers gripped the cloth napkin that she'd laid on the table, her breath coming out in soft pants. "I took her home with me, instead. She offered to share a cab, and my place was closer. I asked her to come up for a drink. Maybe to chat. We sat on the couch with a couple of beers. She told me she could tell I was a closet lesbian. That she could help me adapt to the world where I truly belonged. She told me not to be afraid, and then she kissed me."

"That seems kind of fast."

"It was what I needed at the time. We started hanging out at the club on the weekends. She introduced me to her roommate and a couple of friends who were gay, and I slowly let down my guard. It was refreshing not to have to hide any more."

"I'm glad you had some support, honey." I bit my lip when my toes touched her panties. I could feel the dampness seeping through. This conversation...what I was doing to her...it all turned her on.

"Yes," she nodded and then gasped, biting her own lip. A soft moan escaped before her eyes opened. "But I never stopped thinking about you, Kat. Somewhere deep inside, I still prayed I would see you again. That you would see me for more than just an old classmate, as more than a potential friend."

"I do now." I saw the waitress heading our way and retracted my foot, pushing it back into my shoe. Jenna gaped at me, and I tilted my head a little to show her someone was coming.

"Can I get you ladies anything else?" The waitress smiled at both of us, and I wondered if she could see how flush Jenna's cheeks were.

"No, that will be all. Thank you." Jenna took the folder the waitress held, inserted her credit card, and then turned back to me. "After college, Susie and I parted ways. She got a job on the East coast. I wanted to stay in the area. Call it wishful thinking."

I smiled. "Well, it paid off."

"I had several interviews before I landed the job at Thompkins Legal Consulting."

"And found out your boss would be my old crush, Tim Jacobs?" I finished my wine and dabbed my napkin at my lips.

"No, that wasn't for a few more years. My boss eventually retired. I was well established in the industry when Tim was hired to head up my division, so I wasn't about to look for another job. It was actually okay at first. But then he decided we needed to travel to sell the business. Find more clients in other states. It wasn't until he started sending me to places like Arizona in the heart of the summer or North Dakota in winter that I realized he knew about my sexual preferences and he was punishing me."

"Good lord, he is a jerk. I'm so glad I never hooked up with him."

"Nope, just gay Brady," Jenna laughed.

I groaned, wondering if I should have never told her about him.

"I dated a couple of women short-term over about the span of three years, but it never really clicked with anyone. I was grateful that Susie had helped me open up, but I was getting frustrated. I wasn't finding anyone who compared to you, Kat. I was looking for you in everyone else."

I was having a hell of a time swallowing and breathing tonight. "So what happened with Tim?"

"I heard that he was looking to expand overseas. A big client from France who also had a Chicago office was considering using our services. I—"

"You blackmailed him!" I covered my mouth to silence my gasp and then my laugh.

"You better believe it!" She held up a hand as the waitress reappeared with her card. When we were alone again, Jenna continued. "I told him I wouldn't file charges for sexual harassment if he would send me to France. It worked."

"I have to ask." I lowered my eyes and stared at the empty tablecloth where my plate had been. All that remained were a few crumbs and my napkin. And a single question I had been wanting to ask for ages it seemed. "Did you go alone?"

"Not always."

"Lauren?" I asked and held my breath.

Jenna hesitated, and then she sighed. "Twice."

I nodded and slowly exhaled.

"Nothing happened, Kat. I'm sure Lauren wished it had, but nothing happened."

"Why are you telling me this now? I thought you said the past didn't matter?"

"I'm realizing that some things I once thought trivial are actually important in this relationship. Not that I was sent abroad for business, or that I'd been to that restaurant in Tuscany before. But that you thought you were sharing a unique experience with me, and I wanted you to know that you did. Yes, I ate dinner at that place. Yes, I had visited most of those countries. But not with the love of my life. Not for pleasure, where I could experience each moment for everything it was meant to be."

I felt my eyes get moist. I wanted to tell her to not make me cry, but I also didn't want her to stop.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my trips. About my adventures overseas before I met you. I am sorry, Kat. But I want to make new adventures with you. Just you. No one else."

"Well, aren't you two a sight for sore eyes?" a masculine voice said behind me.

Jenna's eyes looked they were going to pop out of her head, and I was certain my heart was threatening to do the exact same thing to my chest. I refused to turn around. I refused to acknowledge the person who was interrupting my lovely anniversary. Except he wouldn't disappear just because I wanted him to.

"You look good, Kat. How's your hand?"

I felt Jenna's bare foot caressing my shin under the table. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. "My hand is fine now, Danny. Nothing six weeks in a cast couldn't heal."

He cleared his throat. "How have you been?"

I frowned, hoping he would apologize but not entirely surprised he didn't. "I'm doing well. And you?"

"Good. I'm good."

He stepped around to the side of the table, and I got my first look at him since I'd punched him in the face after giving him his belongings from my apartment and he wouldn't leave. His nose had healed quite nicely. No obvious bumps or crooked lines that might detract any single ladies.

Danny clasped his hands in front of his slacks, the green tie against his black dress shirt a spot-on match for his eyes that I kept trying to avoid. He coughed and shifted his weight to his other foot. "I hope I'm not interrupting."

I couldn't imagine what he was up to. But he seemed to want to say something. I started to tell him to take a hike, but Jenna blocked my move.

"Not at all." Her fingers uncurled from the napkin she'd been clutching as her eyes locked on mine. "I need to use the ladies' room. Will you be okay, Kat?"

"Yes, go right ahead." I tried not to frown at Danny who chose to take Jenna's vacated seat. I watched her walk away, her hips swaying side-to-side. I wondered if my ass looked that good in this dress.

"How was Tuscany?"

"It was beautiful. Thank you for asking." I saw the corner of Danny's mouth twitching, and I wasn't sure if he was nervous or trying not to laugh. Did he even know about my gender preference now? I picked up my water glass and hoped he didn't notice my hand shaking.

"I'm sorry I missed out. I'll have to take a trip there someday."

"Well—"

He raised his hand and shook his head. "Don't, Kat. I know it's my fault. I'm not trying to make you feel bad or anything."

"Then what are you trying to do, Danny? You left me, remember? It was hard, but I've moved on. I'd assumed you had, too."

His lips turned down as he sighed. "I never said I wanted to end our relationship. I just said I wasn't ready to get married."

"Same thing. At least you had the decency to not do it while we were standing at the alter in front of my friends and family." I took a long gulp of water and wished I'd never met him. But then again, if I hadn't...

"It's not the same thing. I just needed more time to think things through."

I sat forward and set the glass down a little too hard, causing water to splash over the rim. "What things, Danny? Please, explain it to me. Because when we were that close to saying our vows—I was going to get my fucking dress fitted the next week—the thinking process is pretty much over with. You asked me to marry you, to spend the rest of my life with you. Then you changed your mind. I don't know why. I don't really care why anymore."

"Would you please just give me a chance to speak?"

"Fine. Go ahead." I crossed my arms and pressed my lips tightly together.

"I did want to marry you. I still do. I still love you, Kat. I just needed more time to get things in order. Work was hectic. I didn't get the promotion I thought I was going to get. I'd lost some money on the stock market. I wanted to surprise you with a house, but it wasn't going to happen right then. I was struggling to pay for the wedding as it was."

After he was quiet for a long moment, I leaned my forearms on the table, knowing that from the angle of his head, he could see my breasts through the cutout of my dress. "Then that's what you should have said six months ago. But you didn't. You told me you couldn't marry me. Over the fucking phone, Danny! You really think I was marrying you for your money? Good grief. Do I look like Kim Kardashian? And for the record, there is nothing wrong with living in an apartment. We work in the city. It's convenient and cheaper than having a house in the suburbs."

He sighed deeply again, his breath rustling his long bangs that fell across his forehead. Talk about sad-looking puppies. Brad would have a heyday with his metaphors.

"I'm sorry you had a change of heart. Then and now. But you can't just jump out of someone's life and expect them to wait around for the off-chance that you'll jump back in. You ended it, Danny. Whatever your reasons were, it doesn't matter anymore."

"I'm sorry, Kat." His shoulders were slumped forward, and he just looked...tired.

"Too little, too late. I don't know why you're really here in this restaurant, but you did interrupt us. I was enjoying my anniversary dinner. Now, if you'll please excuse me." I stood and gathered my purse.

"Anniversary?" He snorted and stood as well. "For what? Six months of being single again?"

"No, Danny," Jenna said from beside him. She stepped over to me, laced her arm through mine, and gave me a quick peck on the lips. "Six months of being together with me. So if you don't mind, we need to get going to the club. We have a VIP table reserved."

I would be an old, old woman before I would forget the expression on Danny's face as I wiggled my fingers at him and allowed my girlfriend to escort me to the front of the restaurant. I'd never seen a jaw drop faster, or the color drain from a person's face the way his did. Well, maybe on a Bugs Bunny cartoon, but not in real life.

I'm sure he would remember this night for a long, long time as well. It's not every day that the woman you intended to marry basically throws it in your face that she's over you because she's batting for the other team.

###

I stared up at the castle-like building on Dearborn Street. I'd passed it on various occasions while living in the city, and I knew it had once housed the Chicagoland Historical Society. But I had never been inside the widely-popular club called Excalibur. Tonight was a night of firsts.

"They're having a special event on the third floor tonight, sweetie," Jenna said, hooking her arm in mine again as the cab pulled away from the curb. "We'll fit right in."

I just nodded and followed her inside past the sign that said "No Jeans Allowed." When we reached the bouncer, Jenna flashed him a business card, and he let us through without asking for the covercharge I saw he'd been collecting.

The building appeared to be alive with all the flashing lights and the thumping base of the music and as we wove our way through the crowd. Some people were dancing, but most were just standing around drinking and chatting. How they could hear each other over the noise was beyond me.

No one seemed to pay us much mind as Jenna slid her hand down and grasped my hand, leading me toward an open staircase. As we ascended, I breathed a sigh of relief that I'd chosen to put on a pair of panties instead of a thong or going commando as I'd considered. Everyone below us on the stairs would be able look right up our dresses, even though it was pretty dark and they might not see much.

The music changed as we reached the second floor, but it was just as loud. I knew from what I'd heard that there were multiple rooms of entertainment with a variety of themes and music styles. Part of me wanted to check them all out, but I knew Jenna had an agenda.

We finally stopped at a closed door. A broad-shouldered man wearing all black sat on a stool against the wall. He slowly got to his feet and approached. Before he could speak, Jenna flashed the business card again, and we were allowed entrance.

"What the hell is that thing?" I laughed, trying to get a good look at it before she stuffed it back in her clutch purse. "Charlie's Golden Ticket to the Wonka Factory?"

Jenna rolled her eyes at me. "It's the free pass I got from Mavis at Maggie's Lounge. She's done a few gigs there and is good friends with the DJ for tonight's entertainment. Would you have rather forked over twenty dollars each?"

"And you say you're not a cheap date." I grinned at her and gave her a kiss smack-dab on the lips. "After you, honey."

An hour later, I was quite buzzed by the punch-flavored drink in white plastic cups that Jenna kept pulling off a passing tray and put into my hands. We'd dance, we'd sat and swayed to the music, and she'd introduced me to some women she'd gone clubbing with before we'd been reunited. They all seemed very friendly. And quite happy that Jenna had finally found me...again.

I decided to sit the next one out, and Jenna went off to dance with her friends. A girl who didn't look old enough to even be in the club brought me the SoCo and Coke I'd ordered. I gave her a tip and then lifted the lowball glass to my forehead, sighing as the condensation cooled my hot skin.

The next three songs all ran together, and I watched my girlfriend laughing, swaying her hips to the music, and shaking her ass. Her dress shimmered under the throbbing lights, her skirt lifting up to tease as she moved. I saw several women watching her as well. A couple even joined the group.

For a single moment, I felt a jealous twinge in my heart. But it quickly dissipated as I smiled, knowing that all these women may be attracted to Jenna...they may be dancing with her now. But I was the one who was taking her home. The one who was going to ravage and be ravaged by her tonight.