All Comments on 'I Looked Up & Saw Her Smile Ch. 01'

by InTheColdColdNight

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  • 4 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

Overall, an excellent stage setter.

Would have benefited from a bit of light editing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

Great beginning and the plot is pretty good. Can't wait for the rest!!

BunduBunduover 9 years ago
Lovely scene setting and start to the story

Really enjoying the read. PM me if you'd like a little help with editing.

NC22371NC22371over 9 years ago
Is this written by a grade school student?

A lot of minor spelling errors, but they add up very quickly. Relying only on spellcheck won't cut it. You have to know the difference of which words are correct, not just the spelling.

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I saw you standing in the corner But when you're gone I grow colder I'm going to love you, anyway So don't fight it any longer And you'll come running to me InTheColdColdNight